With Apologies to Mazda, and with Mark using the back half of his commercial round-trip ticket, we find the political elite taking wing in the wild blue, off to the land of Lost Forest, the “Sanctuary,” the “Nature Preserve, the “Game Preserve,” to appreciate what happens when man starts to drill holes into Mother Earth… Dead Cows?  Or Frightened Elk?

But really… who owns this plane?  Who is piloting the Plane?  Wes?  BIG OIL?  The Senator?  Part of the congressional fleet on standby for junkets and fact-finding missions?  Meanwhile, Johnny continues to display his pissy attitude toward to whole thing.  Johnny, Honey, why don’t you shut your pie-hole and try to chill out for once in your life.  You can’t control everything, you know…”

I bet Johnny Walker was a bully in grade school, or maybe, better yet, he was the one who was bullied…  that might explain his confrontational nature and his propensity to engage in name-calling… And don’t YOU understand, Johnny, that Anne Marie is (1) on to you (2) doesn’t love you anymore and (3) is hot for THE TRAIL??   Oh, poor girl…  soon to be another in the pantheon of broken hearts left behind by our intrepid outdoorsman…

And how, pray tell, do you plan to “put a stop” to Mark Trail?  This I can’t wait to see!

And, oh, by the way, we have seen that ¾ close-up of Ann Marie before… why not pull out all the stops with the copy/ paste functionality?

I mean, simple sequencing, right?  Anne Marie bids Johnny welcome and invites him to enter the Senator’s Chambers, and already he not only knows about the plans for a hunting trip, but has had time to form his typically negative opinion?  I don’t get it.

And what exactly is the Lynx/ Ocelot doing in panel one?  Coiled up and ready to pounce?  Praying in the general direction of Mecca?  Sleeping?  Odd… Not to mention the lake, which is now a lovely color of I-don’t-know-what… not sure what color that would be from the 64 box of Crayola crayons Raw Sienna or just plain ol’ Tan?…  all I know is that’s one distressed body of water…

All I know is that Johnny is getting more angry by the day as he feels the encroachment of Mark Trail, as well he should, since faithful readers all know how this is going to turn out…

Not to be overly critical, but Anne Marie, in Panel two, could be an entirely different person…  The hair is the same (described by one as a ‘hot mess…’) but her face has completely changed, only to return to more familiar aspect in panel three.  So the plan is to get the Senator out into the Wilderness- what his lake home doesn’t qualify for that?  What if they were going to set up a drilling rig on the shores of whatever lake he calls his own?  Classic Liberal NIMBY behavior- oh, sure, wind farms are a great idea, just don’t put one off the coast of Hyannis Port…

Ever the practical one, Mark continues to sport the olive/ taupe suit that he wore to dinner the previous night, but changes out the shirt and tie in order that he doesn’t look that obvious about it…  Nice spread collar and silk rep tie.  I will give hive this much, his sartorial sense is refined and classic.  Probably shops at JoS. A. Bank…  And such a gentleman, pulling out the chair for Anne Marie!  He is at home anywhere he goes!  The most interesting man alive?  Probably not, but he will do in a pinch…

I have to draw attention to the matronly waitress in panel two, wearing the Hazel (Baxter Family) maid uniform and toting the globe shaped coffee urn- the same kind that cherry uses at Lost Forest!

“But Mark, (my how familiar we are) my Dad has changed.  He is normally down with the tree hugging set, but ever since I began having relations with Johnny, he has started to agree with everything he says… and I am starting to regret having let Johnny into, umm err, my life…”

But once again, Mark’s knowledge of the legislative process is a bit off… A single Senator cannot “pass a bill” (maybe a kidney stone, but not a whole bill…) without other members of congress going along and the President signing it into law… Unless of course we want to go down the Executive Order path, which would require Mark to get inside the head of the sitting president… might we go there?  Who knows?

And there’s that earring… pasted to of Ann Marie’s upper mandible…  Poor girl…

I swear, Elrod & Company needs to take a crash course in modern day telecommunications equipment, how to draw it and how to hold and use it…

Anyway, here’s the Trail in his natural habitat…  alone in a hotel room verbalizing his every thought for the benefit of you and me.  But soft! What brings the ring?  Why it’s Ann Marie Mason, Johnny Walker’s Sweetheart, calling Mark Trail.  Well this is highly irregular, what with all the gender role clarity at play…  So Anne Marie, raised by wolves (remember??) is going to venture into the steaming vat of our Nation’s Capital in search of the one man who cannot be bought, cannot be swayed, cannot be driven off course…  Mark Trail.  But why? Is she going to give up the goods on Johnny?  Is Johnny turning out to be a BAD BOYFRIEND?  Is he just using her to get to her father Senator Mason, Hudson? Oh the Cad!!

… And I am not even going to comment on what it appears mark is getting ready to do with his left hand in panel three…

Before we get back to our story, look at the way that Mark is holding his phone in panels one and two…  kind of ham-handed, don’t you think??  In fact, it’s a wonder he can here is “Ol’ Buddy” Bill, considering he is completely covering the speaker hole!  Looks more like he’s handling a Walkie-Talkie than a phone…

And does Mark’s Ol’ Buddy Bill have special powers?  How does he know that Mark is in DC?  Caller ID perhaps?

And heavens!  Look at the pillow in panel three…  it’s growing!  Seriously!

But oh, that Johnny Walker…  It would seem that he and the Senator didn’t get the memo.  One cannot be a “right hand man” and a lobbyist at once, can one?  Unless I over-interpreted the title of “right hand man” as being on the Senator’s paid staff…  there are laws against that, supposedly!  And don’t lobbyists have to register?  Yup, I think they probably do.  So simply “hearing about” someone being a lobbyist would suggest that they can run around wearing more than one hat, slipping in and out of the shadows of the Senate chamber… ick.

I knew I knew him!!  All he was missing was the top hat and tails!!  OK they spell it with an ‘ie,’ but no matter.  Probably didn’t want to incur the wrath of copyright lawyers.  This is too funny!!

“Yup, Just Business, Honey, don’t you worry your pretty little head about it…”  What a tool… even in the time warped Trail-verse, this notion is simply unpalatable.  And let me apply my mind control techniques on your doddering father- these aren’t the droids you are looking for…  “That was ridiculous garbage being spewed by Trail…”

But the best line in a month of Sundays came from Mark Himself:  “Johnny REALLY came on STRONG!  I WONDER WHY???”  And he means that.  Oh Clueless, Thy name is Trail…  What’s it like to live in your world?!?

And clearly, the fact that the vehicle Mark is Driving has headrests and a shoulder belt suggests that he had to get on a plane and rent a car since no vehicle in the current Lost Forest fleet is new enough to sport these safety features…

Seriously?  Silver Service? White Linen?  Lake home?  I guess I just don’t appreciate how the political elite rolls…  Despite being massively under-dressed, the Senator maintains his composure and his good cheer, despite the fact that Johnny the pit bull is straining at his leash…  wanting to take down Mark with a single blow, all while “protecting” the Senator from undue influence and impositions onto his busy calendar…  More than anything, Johnny is protecting his “meal-ticket” and can’t (literally) afford to let the Senator go off-message or stray too far from the feeding trough.

And as usual, there is absolute role clarity in the Trailverse.  Women prepare food.  Men eat food and discuss weighty matters…  Lather, rinse, repeat.

Those are fightin’ words, Mr. Brylcreem!  I guess Johnny IS cross…Of course Johnny has a personal interest in seeing the Senator re-elected…  that’s how this works, Marky-Mark… Lower suckers and sycophants attach themselves to higher order Parasites and keep the whole thing propped up by buying and selling influence.  It’s call government.  And it’s coming to a town near you!

Now won’t dinner be fun!  Do you think Mark will stick around, now that he has been properly called out as one not “on the Senator’s Team” or will the base layer of the needs hierarchy prevail as Mark’s stomach growls and calls for food followed by black coffee?

And what hell is that in the tree in panel two?  A little early for Breast Cancer Awareness Month?  Or maybe not…

Dinner is going to be tense.  Not that Mark will “feel” any of the emotion, blind as he is to other’s feelings…  Oh to live simply, to be unaware of what others are thinking and feeling, must make for a much simpler life, you know?  Not that I would trade, mind you, but Mark’s ability to walk into situations with such linearity of thought and narrowness of view requires much less cognitive energy…

And such foreboding in panel one, taken up mostly by the black bird of doom.  It’s not a very good Raven, if that’s what it is supposed to be, but we will take the Chinese colorist’s interpretation of the moment and paint the episode black…

And Mark, Really?  “Best for the country?”  Your stance is annoying, one that could only be taken by one that has had his life fall into place without a lot of effort and hasn’t had to worry a whole lot about what puts the roof over your head or the horse under your saddle…  Little people need to be aware of what fuels their enterprise, literally, while you maintain fanciful notions of life as grand while we deal with thorny issues like achieving energy independence…

Well I don’t.  “I am going to help Ann Marie in the kitchen” is code for… what?  I need to leave the room?  I can’t stand being around you? I need to leave you and Johnny alone so he can rough you up a bit?

But of course the dinner invitation is accepted at the first mention.  Mark is accustomed to being fed wherever he goes.  Other than the odd shore-lunch of freshly caught trout over an open flame, this man knows nothing of preparing food…  “I wonder if they serve coffee in this joint,” he must be thinking…

And there’s Johnny, looking all chisel faced, hewn from the granite that no doubt makes up the sub-strata of the lake bed where all of the Senator’s political enemies lay sleeping… with the fishes.

Oh, Mark, you are surrounded!!  Let’s see, when was the last time you engaged with the political elite?  1958?  Things HAVE changed a bit since then, Old Friend.  It’s a different world, where money DOES talk, and Bullshit walks…  Your writing and thinking have now been called out TWICE for being a “bit idealistic…” not rooted in the reality of the modern day.  You see, we all have i-Phones or Galaxies…  With all the talk of GREEN and FOOTPRINTS of CARBON, most of us really couldn’t give a real damn, since we are mostly concerned with have the power to light up all of our various devices…

And what would those “Matters” be, Senator?  One can only imagine… With a brand like “Hudson Mason,” how much campaigning really has to go on?  And clearly the interests have made their way into his old, leathery hide, and with that awesome ‘stache and genial smile, how could you not trust this guy?

Wearing your hair a little long, though, aren’t you Johnny?  That’s a mighty big tip-off in the Trailverse for a person who is less than forthright and stout of heart…

Remember we are at a LAKE HOME??  Maybe I just get the wrong impression, but it looks like Johnny is ready to apply for a job!  Or maybe he and Ann Marie are going out for a fancy dinner at the local supper club!  Senator Mason seems to be the only one who is down with chillin’ at the lake…

That is one hell of a door bell, too!  DING DONG it says… before Mark and Senator can respond to Ann Marie’s Gracious offer.   Darling, now that’s a funny last name, although not entirely unusual… like the last name of the family in the story Peter Pan…  Or perhaps it’s simply a term of endearment.  Hard to know in these exchanges.

Oil!? Mark Exclaims, as if he had never heard of the stuff…  but in the foothills of the Great Smokey / Blue Ridge Mountains? You bet, Mark.  It’s already happening!

“…but you can kiss my wrinkled, dimpled, gray-haired posterior…”  Senator Hudson Mason would seem to be saying…  The mood has certainly shifted in the last 30 seconds…  Will the young, idealistic, star-struck Ann Marie jump in the middle of this and talk some sense into her “father?”

“Not too long ago” is an interesting concept in the Trail-verse, where time goes backward, stands still and marches forward all at once… “There was a time Senator when you were easier to buy… but for a simple vote… who is in your knickers now?  Who has pictures of you with the Nanny-goat?”

Yes Mark, “things change.”  “I used to be a younger man;  you, on the other hand, don’t age, you bastard.  I have sold my soul and become a hollow shell into which younger men’s dreams flow.  I can only live vicariously through the achievements of others.  Try walking a mile in my support hose and slippers and you will know what that feels like…

Yup, Unrealistic.  That’s what YOU PEOPLE can be…  I think the last politician to use that phrase was Ross Perot in the 1992 Presidential campaign… and that didn’t work out too well for him…

Funny how the verb form of the word progress just doesn’t flow for me… it’s difficult to place the emphasis on the correct (last) syllable… as in pro (long o)-gress’ not pro’- gress.  “We have to make progress, Mark, not live in the past…”  But wait, we just spent a week in the Jurassic, so, well, yes we can!!

But seriously Mark, you are out matched here.  Some corporate interest with very deep pockets has beat you to the punch and now you are playing defense…  funny how in panel two they are carrying one what could be considered a contentious conversation, bordering on argument, both with smiles on their faces!

And for the last time Mark, what about your Carbon Footprint?  Why can’t you just pick up the damn phone and talk to these people, rather than travel over hill and dale to confront them?  Well that wouldn’t make for much of an action sequence now would it, and the Senator‘s daughter would be unknown to us, so I should just stop carping about that…

Well, Hudson, it’s no mystery how you have been able to ascend to the heights of power and stay there…  remembering even the “little people” (who barge in on your private moments) who helped you get to where you are… Once again we have the concept of “old friend.”  As in “old boy’s network.”  Don’t ask, don’t apply for membership.  It’s like waiting in line for season tickets to Lambeau… Of course damning Mark with faint praise (which goes over the Trail head I assure you) “One of the best outdoor writers in the country…” What, is there some pantheon of outdoor writers that I am unaware of?  An annual award that Mark wins every three years just to make it not seem too rigged?  Real competition?  Hm.  I wonder…

So, if Anne Marie is the Senator’s daughter, then the timeline seems a bit off…  panel one shows Senator Mason in full geezer mode, belly paunch protruding, and even though he’s sucked it in for the middle panel, he’s still much too old to be her father… Grandfather maybe.  But then there are second marriages, surprises, who knows, right?  I am a little disappointed…  I was really hoping that Senator Mason would not be the epitome of the “Old White Guy,” but then this IS Mark Trail…

And lastly, it would appear that Ann Marie’s earring is glued to her cheek.  Poor girl, her lobe may have been chewed off by the wolves that raised her…

What, are we channeling Glenn Close from Fatal Attraction?  Very late eighties feel to that do, ma’am…  or miss, or whatever you are… And what, are we in the Tapioca Lounge here?  “I’ve heard that name before—Should I know you??”   If that isn’t code for “ride me cowboy,” I don’t know what is… Maybe as a Senator’s Daughter a certain expectation to provide “comfort” to weary travelers is part of the job description…

Quite the spanky spread though.  Certainly Senator Mason Hudson or Hudson Mason or whatever his name is has been keeping himself clean of any undue influence during his decades doing the “peoples’ business.”  Or “Doing the People” as it were…

Oh how nice it is to be away from Rusty and dinosaurs and back with the goofy-ass setups that makes this so much fun!

I have often wondered about the ‘h’ that often goes into the name ‘John.’  If we don’t see the ‘h’ are we supposed to assume, what? That his given name is Jonathon?  Can we call Jonathon ‘Jack?’  Or just if the given name is John with the ‘h?’ But I certainly digress, and how could I with the Senator’s pretty daughter filling up panel two with her perfect white teeth, blonde hair and well- applied lipstick…

Mark certainly is demonstrating his right index finger targeting skills with the push of the doorbell button.  Lake house, huh?  Doesn’t fit.  Most “Lake houses” I know either have the door already open or a door knocker… but certainly not a door BELL…  And now Mark is in an olive-taupe ensemble, suitable for the North Woods, assuming that’s where the lake is.  Certainly the Senator is a nature lover himself, and certainly Mark will now have the chance to talk some sense into him about the development of the Lost Forest “Preserve.”

And Mark, I mean, why WOULD ANYONE MIND that you are stopping in, unannounced?  At least you admit to being the obnoxious boor that you are…