Okay, Jules Rivera is in Mark Trail Parody Mode. Dressed in his best “used car salesman” suit (but looking more like the stereotype of a country hick), Mark runs to the rescue of a gorilla that suddenly collapsed. Why? Because he is Mark Trail (cue the Mighty Mouse theme song), and he is contractually obligated to attempt any and all rescues.  I mean, nobody really expected Gail or Guyler to do anything, right? Meanwhile, even Happy begins to realize something isn’t right. Everybody seems to be having their own version of a panic attack.

Well, I’m not sure I agree with Rivera’s assessment of the situation in panel 3, or even the pun, itself. I mean, one gorilla has collapsed and another gorilla sits in a different location, not doing much of anything. But I see no gorillas fighting. Do you? Rivera wasted a possibly good pun on a completely unrelated event. In fact, Rivera could have showed two gorillas getting into a bit of rough-and-tumble over the past day or two, with the loser falling down and needing medical attention. Then Rivera’s pun would make a lot more sense and maybe worth a chuckle.

If Jules Rivera was going for “Harpy”, “Shrew”, or “Big Time Bitch”, then I think she nailed it. Gail’s wedding day bloom came off pretty fast with this interruption, and Mark did his best imitation of Plastic Man (panel 2) running to the rescue. Meanwhile, Gail isn’t about to let something as inconvenient as a gorilla in distress get in the way of grabbing Happy’s money. The woman has her priorities locked and loaded!

What does Mark expect to do? He’s not a vet and has no medical equipment with him. Will he perform mouth-to-mouth? CPR? Stick a knife in the gorilla’s foot to see if he is faking just to get some attention? Sadly, this story is running along the line that commenter Hannibal’s Lectern predicted yesterday. Cant’ wait to see how tomorrow’s strip turns out.

Finally, exactly what might come next to shock you? It depends. You might decide, after reading today’s blog, to check a questionable electrical connection by first wetting your fingers and then touching the contacts (but please don’t!). You might decide to go online and read some of the latest editions of the Congressional Record. You might decide to check on where your state falls with regard to overall public education. You might even decide to locate a copy of the movie Howard the Duck and watch it.

I still feel like I slept for a week and missed some important scenes.

Weddings have different effects on people, and I suppose it might apply to gorillas, too. Perhaps. Perhaps the enchantment of the event was too much for the great ape. Or maybe it passed out from boredom. More than likely, it will turn out to be Gail’s and Guyler’s negligence. Still, if this interrupts the wedding ceremony, it can’t be all bad.

All Mark needs to do is call the Sanctuary’s on-site veterinarian. I mean, a place like this would have one, right? LOL! Who am I kidding!? This isn’t a large sanctuary and Gail has no funds, according to Schemer, I mean Guyler. Instead, I reckon they must have an on-call contract with a large-animal vet in the area. Maybe the vet is even licensed.

My opinion about Niecy has changed considerably. At first, I thought she was going to be the anchor Mark could depend on to help hold Happy’s feet to the fire and face reality. But she’s just rubbing Mark’s shame in his face and acting like she’s wrangling for a position in the wedding party! I’d make her find her own way home. On the other hand, even Mark seems to have accepted the situation and is now actually sad that Cherry and Rusty can’t also be on hand to watch his dad marry a crook who wants to take Happy for all of his money. What am I missing here!?

But Niecey (panel 2) innocently brings up the possibility of an extra con from Gail: Happy gets conned into signing ownership papers for the sanctuary. Gail then runs off with his money, leaving Happy legally responsible for the sanctuary and the gorillas. It’s a double-header scam! Hence the title of today’s blog!

As for Jules Rivera’s standard attempts to inject (or force) jokes into the strip, all I can say is “For the love of sanity, please stop!” (I feel like Rat holding a baseball bat at Stephan Pastis’ head in the punchline panel of a Pearls Before Swine pun strip.) Niecy’s punchline in panel 4 is bad timing, since her attempt to turn Mark’s phrase “gets my goat” into a pun got lost within all of the verbiage that Mark added after that expression. In my clearly superior opinion, Rivera should have organized Mark’s complaint so that his “gets my goat” phrase appears at, or near, the end of his comment. Even then, Niecy’s quip is weak sauce, at best.

So I’m really pushing for that “Happy and Doc” “Odd Couple” comic strip spinoff! C’mon, people! Everybody write to Jules and tell her you want the new strip!

Where are we, now? Mark and Niecy (mostly Niecy) have been uncovering the dodgy, corrupt activities of Gail Getz and her son, Guyler, operators of the Glamor Gorilla Sanctuary. They’ve been conning Happy out a fair chunk of his retirement savings. At the same time, Gail has smitten Happy, who wants to marry her, no matter what. Hence, the ongoing argument. We saw yesterday how Niecy appears to have fallen in line with Happy’s decision.

And we see more of this confirmation today, as Niecy takes it all in stride and tells Mark to let it go, as well (panel 3). Mark appears to be accepting her judgement, at least for the time being. I wonder if he is still concerned about the treatment and care of the gorillas, like he was a short while ago. Or is this an act to put Happy at ease, while Mark and Niecy take the opportunity to confront and expose Gail before Happy signs the “I do” Certificate? Something is bound to blow this relationship up, as Gail is not the kind of character that would fit in the Trail Family.

Futile Fantasy. The worst that could happen is that Happy loses everything to Gail as she flies off with all of Happy’s money, leaving him destitute. No longer able to afford his house, he moves into the Trail cabin. But space is cramped, so Mark gets the idea of Happy moving into an abandoned cabin on the other side of Lost Forest, along with Cherry’s rarely seen dad, Tom “Doc” Davis. But wait! There’s more: They could become a new Odd Couple or Grumpy Old Men with their own spinoff joke-a-day comic strip. Happy and Doc Davis could interact with the eccentrics of Lost Forest so that Jules Rivera could adapt the Mark Trail strip into an actual adventure strip with real drama and danger. What do you think?

What do you think? Is panel 1 a visual pun of my blog title? If so, Ding!Ding!Ding!Ding!Ding!

The argument continues, as Mark pussyfoots around the issue. The point of scamming money from Happy was exposed before they even visited the gorilla sanctuary. And what about the drive back home? Did they not talk about it at all? We don’t know, because Jules Rivera also kept that part of the story tucked away in a secret folder. We seem to be treading water here; more soap opera than adventure. Well, Happy has previously played down his donations to Gail. Being smitten does tend to cloud the rational part of the brain.

Art Dept. In panel 3 Mark feels obliged to throw a zinger back at Happy as he looks across with a Doonsbury-inspired expression (well, the eyes, anyway). This type of cynical expression doesn’t really work well with Mark or with the general tenor of the strip.

Nevertheless, panel 3 is unnecessarily crowded, owing to fitting in Rivera’s popular arced background divider, the image balloon of Gail and her bag o’ cash, the traditional signature bubble-and-date, and Rivera’s all-too-common punchline narration box. That’s a lot to fit it around Mark and his comment. Compare it with its mate, panel 2, where Happy didn’t need that image balloon of Gail.

Did I miss a day this week? I don’t recall any mention or scene of Mark and Happy coming back. Yet, here he is, all duded up. It’s been a few years since I’ve been to a wedding, but I don’t recall grooms dressing like Willy Wonka or the doorman at Harrods. Well, Bob Dylan and all that, I reckon.

Maybe Mark was right to not bring Niecy along with Happy to the gorilla sanctuary. Her hand-clapping approval of Happy’s attire is reason enough, but it also undermines Mark’s agenda. On the other hand, it looks like we might get back to some good ol’ Fists o’ Fury between these two dudes, just like in the very first Mark Trail story (by Jules Rivera).

But, I’ll give Rivera good marks today for finally writing an effective pun in a narration box (panel 2) that actually marries the content of the scene to the national holiday.

Talk about fails … I might be oversimplifying things, but wouldn’t the easiest solution be to just push Happy into the car and drive him home, then report the Gorilla Sanctuary to the DNR or the USDA Animal and Plant Health Inspection Service? After that, threaten Gail and Guyler with the police and prosecution unless they return Happy’s money. Okay, maybe that last part wouldn’t fly, but it’s worth a try. At least Mark is back to worrying about his dad.

To be fair, Mark didn’t really resolve the Tiger Touch Center scam, either. That happened when Gemma the rampaging elephant happened to show up and chase Tess Tigress away. Well, education doesn’t come cheap these days, so Happy’s financial contributions would just be the price of learning.

When this adventure is over, maybe Mark should look into a senior assisted living accommodation for Happy and put his remaining funds into an irrevocable trust with him as the trustee.

Art Dept. Panel 4 is another example of why it is good to live in a place that is not spelled F-l-o-r-i-d-a.

Really, now. Is a gorilla sanctuary more pure than a deer sanctuary or a tiger sanctuary? Just wondering. Now we’re spending all this time listening to Niecy’s litany of questionable activities that Gail and Guyler (do you remember the origin of his name?) have done, and … so what!? Is Mark just gonna keep huffing and puffing and wringing his hands over the gorillas?

(By the way, are real estate seminars inherently criminal enterprises? If you are talking about time shares or house flipping, maybe you got a point. But if selling cheap pantyhose is also a crime, places like Dollar General are in big trouble!) And if you see any allusions to contemporary politics or politicians in this current story, I would agree, given Jules Rivera’s own politics.

Sure, gorillas are important to protect—don’t get me wrong. But Mark seems to have lost focus on why they went to the sanctuary in the first place. The gorillas look morose and placid, but not necessarily ill, injured, or diseased. Is Mark going to sacrifice Happy’s happiness and fortune while he emotes and shakes his fist at Gail and Guyler? Is Mark going to at least call the DNR and have them send officers over to the Sanctuary? Mark needs to get off the stick and get going. As far as we know, Happy and Gail could already be married! Given Happy’s recent unstable behavior, that is a real possibility!

Okay, just where the hell are Niecy and Mark working!? Is that a mural behind them in panel 1 or are they really in a corner office on the 17^th floor of a business tower? But then I stopped and looked more closely at the scene. I realized that they are sitting in the room where Mark and Niecy first found out who Dreama really is. The left “passageway” is actually a bookcase. The right passageway leads to the bumped-out three-wall Florida Room visible in panel 4 of yesterday’s strip. Jules Rivera could have spilled a bit more ink defining these spaces more convincingly. Okay, I think I’m good to go.

Ever since arriving at the Glamor Gorilla Sanctuary, Mark has turned his attention to the animals and more or less put Happy’s money on the back burner. That shouldn’t be surprising. Interestingly, it appears that Rivera adapted her Tiger Petting Zoo story (“Puff Piece Zoo”) for this adventure, having Happy play the role of the smitten Rex Scorpius and Gail reimagining Tess Tigress. That means Niecy stands in for Diana Daggers, who was originally Rex’s backup support and information provider, until Tess Tigress threw her off the zoo property and out of the story. Now, we don’t really have an actual rampaging elephant to chase Gail into the sunset, but one of the gorillas might step in, when the time is right.

I wonder where Mark picked up that interjection, “criminy.” It’s really old-school, and my Oxford English Dictionary indicates it was in use back in the 17^th century. Since then, it was popular for a while, but went out of favor around the 1920s. Maybe Mark picked it up from watching really old movies.

So, did Mark really leave Happy in the hands of Gail and Guyler!? Criminy!

Yes, they were shocked! Once again, Mark is caught off guard by useful information provided to him after the fact. Does he realize that it was almost certainly his impulsiveness that precipitated the current debacle? It must run in the family. Poor Mark. He must be having a panicky moment of déjà vu at the mention of “trouble with a roadside zoo.”

We could ponder why Mark didn’t bring Niecy and her laptop along so she could do her research on the way to the sanctuary, where it might have given Happy some just-in-time reasons to rethink proposing. Or Niecy could have given Mark a call to share her findings while he was still at the sanctuary. In either case, such practical considerations might have prematurely wrapped up this story.

But this is the nutty improbability that pervades movies and TV shows. People suddenly trip when fleeing bad guys; the detective leaves the office just before a crucial phone call comes through that would have cracked the case; the leading man shows up for an important dinner date but accidentally brought along a bottle of Two-Buck Chuck to impress the woman. We just gotta have these goofy plot twists!

So Mark got the important information late. Now what? Will Mark call Happy right away and tell him to get the heck out of that place as fast as he can? Or will he find out it’s too late and wind up taking Niecy with him to help pick out a wedding gift for the Happy couple? Perhaps an alligator purse that snaps shut.

Alligators:  Speaking of animals showing up in this strip, it seems like gators have also been showing up in the news a lot recently, with several attacks down in Florida within one week. It is certainly tragic news to hear about.  But my attitude is, why tempt fate? Avoiding rivers, ponds, swamps, glades, and streams where alligators, pythons, and other dangerous creatures are known to exist (or even thought to exist) seems like a no-brainer decision to me. That includes Niecy’s and Happy’s properties, with that always-hungry gator walking the grounds with impunity.

So Mark drove all the way back to his Dad’s place (or Niecy’s house?), just to talk things over with Niecy? What happened to WhatsApp? Or Zoom? That’s usually good enough when Mark calls Cherry.

Now that he is back, who is watching out for Happy, besides Gale (Dreama)? Mark seems to be out of his depth. I think this is refreshing in a way. And we’ve seen this a lot with Jules Rivera’s Mark Trail. He is not always on top of things, not always the Noble Hero of Moral Certainty. He messes up and makes wrong choices. His Fists o’ Justice don’t always perform as expected. Woman are not always (or ever) throwing themselves at him, as in his previous incarnations. He is not world-renown. In fact, since Rivera took over, he hasn’t even left the country! I’d like to see that happen some time.

And this must have been a bad hair day for Rivera, based on the art. But she is no Stephen Pastis when it comes to puns, either. I’m guessing that the “going ape” pun was meant to apply to Happy’s enthusiasm for Gale. As for Mark, he is just going crazy.