Gee, I wonder what it could be?  Counterfeit Beanie Beanie Babies??  Pirated DVD’s?  Chinese Computer Operating Systems?  Blood Diamonds?  Oh, that’s right- it’s bound to be Rhino Horn destined for the Asian market where it’s used as an aphrodisiac… I guess Western Medicine in the form of Cialis and Viagra has yet to translate to Eastern markets… the whole sitting in separate tubs thing probably doesn’t work, not in a culture known for communal bathing…

Your plan is perfect, Chris, with the exception of two things- Mark will not be easily taken “out of the way” and Lori can’t stand you.  Other than that, have fun!