…where comics have no sound, we sometimes wonder what these characters sound like, right??  For whatever reason I am assigning the voice of “Droopy Dog” to Mr. Holland, CEO of Riverway Chemical…  especially the last line in the second panel, “some local people…” really seems to fit, especially with the seemingly benign facial expressions being offered up…

Wow, Mark, you are really IN the Swamp??  Currently?  Why that’s extraordinary!  I happen to own it!  Do you have my permission?  Have you been scouted by one of my lackeys?  I plan to mine every last ounce of titanium from this pristine and somewhat virgin ecosystem because you know why?  All I care about is ME.  That’s right, not anyone else, not future generations, not any friggin’ turtles or alligators that might call the swamp home…  They mean NOTHING to ME!!   Muuuaaaaahhaahhaahhaaa!!!!

OK, let’s count ways:  (1) There is a high-rise, city-style office building on the edge of the swamp- replete with mangrove and wildlife… (2)  Mark has the direct dial number of the CEO of a Multinational Chemical Conglomerate… (3)  Justin Holland is in the office and answers his own phone… and (4)  he answers it like someone who works in a call center…

…oh and (5) Justin has heard of Mark Trail and actually reads his articles (of course, why hasn’t or wouldn’t he??) and (6) Mark is so secure in his own skin that he can make business calls wearing nothing more than a smile…  OK, one might make the case that he has his trunks on, but I ask the reader to imagine otherwise!  And what exactly are you doing with your left hand, Mark??

Finally, what’s up with Justin?  Huge head, small body, narrow shoulders, not exactly painting the archetype of the eco-villain, now is he??  Probably got beat up a lot when he was a kid…

… emphasis on the gagging …  Time we made time getting up the canal – we have a date with destiny – with Justin Holland of Riverway Chemical.  I just wonder, though, is the “h” hard or soft in “Hollland?”  Upon which sylla’ble do we place the empha’sis?

And who is that watching the Trails?  Is this Papua New Guinea?  Some type of indigenous tribesman?  15 minutes from Elizabeth City??  Or is this Swamp People meets Mark Trail??

OK, I was wrong.  Not the first time and it won’t be my last…  I searched this time for “alligator nest” and viola- here’s what we are talking about…  So the bear went to the mound looking for a tasty snack of gestating Alligator… (mmm… crunchy on the outside, soft and gooey in the middle…) And yes, The Mother Alligator took exception to that…  Oh Mark, How could I have ever doubted you??  My hat is in my hand…

“HA HA HA …”  that’s a fairly robotic laugh…  I prefer the highly punctuated “HA!” as in, “WOW!” or “COOL!”  But then I have always suspected that Mark is an Android, devoid of the “feelings” circuit  that would allow him to express and modulate emotion beyond what he is apparently capable of doing…

The only reference to “Alligator Mound” is an Indian burial mound in Granville, Ohio… and what on earth would that Alligator, painted Boat Motor Green, have to do with the haystack?  His head would barely fit inside, if in fact you are suggesting that he was using it as a hiding place…

As for Alligators attacking Black Bears…  right…  best I could find is an animated scuffle from animal planet which is 100% CG…

OK, whatever…  carry on.

Who?  Mark?  James Allen?  The whole Mark Trail enterprise?  When Allen took over the helm and began to apply his vision to the Mark Trail comic legacy, he quickly introduced us to a cranky  Black Bear with a sore foot who then promptly treed Mark Trail… only to be bested by Mark’s cunning and apparent dominion over nature by forcing a confrontation with Rex the ill-tempered Grizzly, over by Cutter’s Bluff…

But with the Cherry peep-show over, we have to get back to business, and business is all about Nature and Nature is all about preservation and halting evil, profit-motivated people from destroying it!

But wait- what’s in that haystack that looks like a beaver lodge, except that a beaver wouldn’t build a lodge on dry land…  they are hard-wired to try to dam up the entire waterway…  how curious…

Have another, Cherry, you are on Vacation!  First one of your life, so why not make the most of it?  And what kind of “drunk self” are you?  Which of the seven dwarfs do you become?  Sleepy? Happy? Dopey? Grumpy? Randy?  Oh, that’s right, that wasn’t one of them…

And leave it to Mark to wax encyclopedic on the topic of Butterfly diversity in the Great Dismal…  Fascinating.  Truly fascinating.

At least they are back to calling each other something other than “Honey…”

Hang onto that tiller.  Trim those, um, sails…  Only you Mark Trail could be thinking of the endangered environment at a time like this!!  Have to say, though, that since Mark has affirmed (and re-affirmed) his love for Cherry, he seems to have found his bowflex as well… nice pecs, dude!

Mark, you doofus, it’s not the scenery that she is remarking on!  Dim and dense to the end, I suppose…

And Cherry, what hideth beneath the flannels of Lost Forest?!  I guess it took a trip to the Great Dismal Swamp to find out…

Good Heavens, girl…  put the goblet down and put some clothes on!  Your skin is now more alabaster than ever before… and your suit has turned an even brighter shade of pink!!  And assuming that it’s now the next morning, with the sun properly rising in the east through the morning fog, what are you doing with a drink in your hand anyway?!?

The bird in the first panel, staring open-mouthed, is sufficiently agog with Cherry’s lack of decorum, and has decided to fly in for a closer look…  Cherry, you are such a lush…  who knew??

Wow… tension so thick you could cut it with a knife.  For a couple of days…

Note the gender neutral use of the pronoun “its…”  as in “Its next meal…”  I guess in all the excitement Mark was unable to positively ID the gender.  Check for boy-shark parts…  The so-called “Claspers…”  I am a little disappointed.  Usually Mark Trail fits a nature lesson in where- and whenever he can… Such as the fact that the Bull Shark is endangered, having a status of “NT” or “Near Threatened,” the smallest rating being LC for “Least Concern…”  Implying that all animals are potentially threatened so long as man continues to inhabit the earth…

That is one sad looking fish…  knowing that it’s about to become a meal…  sort of flies in the face of the whole “fish are not sentient creatures” argument …

Once again, though, Mark leads the charmed life.  He doesn’t have the slightest clue that most people cannot be quite so cavalier and come away unscathed…

Who exactly are you channeling, Mark?  Jeff Spicoli?  And Mark, Really?  You’d know what species, what genus, as the large shark-like creature brushes by you?

I love the look on the face of the Striped Bass… Eyes wide…  As if it knows that it’s about to become a snack for the shark!

Oh, Mark.  That Striped Bass sure is pretty, but that BULL SHARK is right on your flank…  According to the Wiki, the Bull Shark is known for its aggressive nature, predilection for warm shallow water, and presence in brackish and freshwater systems including estuaries and rivers.  And in case any of you want to see what a Bull shark is capable of, follow this Link.  Yikes.  They are responsible for the majority of near-shore shark attacks, including many attacks attributed to other species.

So while Cherry suns herself on deck, Mark is once again putting himself in danger, this time in a very unforgiving environment with no trees to climb…

Can you just hear the music building?? Daaa-dum, Daa-dum, Da-dum, da-dum, da-dum….

Unless his swim trunks are flesh colored…

“OK, Honey,” he says to his gal, now resplendent in her two piece, having removed her spf45 cover-up…  Are we to believe that yesterday’s “drifting lazily” is code for… oh, perish the thought!

Brackish waters, huh?  That sounds ominous…  No buddy system here as Mark heads off into the murky depths of the well-traveled shipping lane…

All we’ve seen so far is his bare torso… no trunks!  And what do you suppose Mark will find underwater?  This is Elizabeth city after all…  But here’s an evil idea… When Mark goes overboard, pull in the ladder and make him promise things in order to let him back on board!!  If there’s one thing we have learned from the movies, is that it’s impossible to get back on board a yacht without a ladder…

And yes, the king of odd gestures is at it again…  Is he looking at Cherry to “give him five?”  Shake his hand?  What exactly are you doing, Mark?

Are we to believe that Cherry Trail, in her sheer pink cover-up, is holding the line that secures the jib with one hand?  Let’s hope that Mark, off camera stage left, has the rope secured around the winch, otherwise this picture makes no sense at all… And enough with the Honey’s already!!

They do lead exciting lives, don’t they?  So let’s just back off a bit and allow them a few moments of fun- no doubt danger and anger await them in the swamp!!

What? No ‘Sweetie,’ no ‘Lamb Chop?’  If it’s not creepy enough “looking in” on Mark and Cherry aboard the “nice boat” that Bill rented for them to use, it’s listening to them exchange terms of endearment…  and looking at Mark (with bare bodkin) and Cherry (with the sensible cover-up…) make ready to hoist a sail.  Of course this boat could be all push-button for all we know…  no winches and pulleys for the Trails…

As much as I am curious about spaces below-decks, I sincerely hope we don’t go there…

Bill, you crack me up…  What, did you grow up with the Kennedy clan?  Summer in Hyannis?  That’s 80 feet of waterline, if it’s a foot…  I mean, one can hardly make out the figures on board this massive craft.  I hope the Army Corp of Engineers has kept up with their dredging schedule…  Otherwise the keel’s going to be scraping bottom in the canals.  But then I suppose, as part of the Intercoastal Waterway, these types of craft are not infrequent…  as the 1%er’s migrate north to south and back with the seasons.  “It’s Fall, Muffy, we best get our beloved ‘Poverty Sux’ out of Newport and down to the Caymans…”  Either this boat comes with a crew, or we may never see it under sail…  Or (and probably, of course) Mark is also expert at sailing (with limited crew) ketch-rigged watercraft…

So yes, the CEO of Riverway (nee PETROXX) Chemical will likely be quite impressed with this rig, that is if he’s into this type of thing…