As Carina falls at 9.8 meters per second-squared, without Mark anywhere in sight, out of nowhere emerges his hand to grab a hold of Carina’s extremely large wrist and hand… Seriously- I can’t take my eyes off the middle panel- Mark’s hand is tiny and Carina’s freakishly large…

Well, now they both owe Mark a life…  Gabe for Mark’s Superman-like maneuver at the crumbling rock bridge and now Carina at the Waterfall…  Gabe might have repaid Mark a bit helping get that giant gypsum column off him, but who’s keeping track anyway??

Seriously, Carina…

A rock formation left undisturbed for a millennium … and you find yourself sliding down it into what?  Oblivion?  After Mark told you to “Wait…”  On the other hand, it looks like she might be sliding into second base… “Safe!”

She calls to Mark… not Gabe.  Imagine, if you will, Gabe’s back story.  Always a little short, round, clumsy, too smart for his own good.  Not popular, at least with other kids.  Hung around the lab at school, even was lab assistant during what might have been a “study hall” hour…  Made his way to the State University on scholarship, first of his family to go to college- so proud!  Continued on in his studies, earned a PhD, his dissertation on, well, of course, White Nose Syndrome in Bats.  Dedicated his life to it.  But never lost hope that he might find “the one…”  He hears his mother’s voice constantly- “Don’t lose heart… There’s someone for everyone, Principito…”  But alas, the story playing out now has been repeated so often in his life, he can’t even count how many times…

That’s right boys and girls!  That makes total sense- keep heading down, not up, because we certainly don’t want to get to the surface any time soon… (Thanks, Faithful Reader Dan for “throwing the flag” yesterday…)

Poor Carina.  She’s willing to give anything a try, so long as it increases her chances of meeting with death’s sweet embrace, rapture in the hands of the cave gods…  which she now realizes is her destiny…

But wait, Carina!  Mark’s head is snapping around as if he sees something in the pale light of the cave… What is it, Mark?  Thank goodness it’s only Friday and we can find out tomorrow!!

And yes, hang on, Carina… as the vulnerable and delicate female of the troop, make sure you are within reach of the Alpha Trail…

But what’s with Gabe’s finger?  All hyper-extended and in our faces…  And how about the fact that they could probably have heard the waterfall well before they saw (again, using what for light??) the waterfall…  and yes, ladies an gentlemen, it’s another thrilling twist in the man vs. nature theme in this riveting story of what?  escape?  Karmic forces seeking balance?  Testing readers to the very end of their patience?

…but where the hell is all the ambient light coming from?  And I know I’m not supposed to end sentences with prepositions…  But hey man, this is a new age, where rules appear to be broken daily and the order of things seems, well, out of order…

With Gabe’s shadow hanging in the background, we are presented (again!) with the prospect of having to wade into the waters- with unknown consequences ahead!  With Carina (again!) striking a very unnatural and unproductive pose… as if she knows that she is “on stage” and being “watched.”

So lets take stock of time here… I marked 100 days 8 days ago… so is my impatience growing?  Must be, since it feels like it’s been a hell of a lot longer than that… Oh Gods of Mark Trail, I beseech thee… deliver us from this story line… please let something happen!  Make us not to wander this desert any longer!! Amen!

…with Gabe as he seems sincere in his desire to continue the dialogue about the impact of flowing water on the landscape…  But ‘Mr. Last Word’ Mark Trail, with a withering glance, has the final say… “Water still flows through it today!”

Meanwhile, ‘Miss I am looking for a gig with Maxim Magazine’ shows the two guys “the way.” She assumes that the water is going to run somewhere productive, rather than deeper and deeper into the Bowels of the Earth…  Mark is right behind her, but Gabe, as usual, is taking up the rear, seemingly in simian form, his silhouette faintly reminiscent of Dr. Zaius from Plant of the Apes…

I’m sorry, but Carina’s lips just keep getting more and more full… like she’s getting injections or something…  compared to this picture, something is really up here…

Never mind the fact that she’s been without her glasses for months now…  with no apparent impact to her ability to navigate.  Maybe they were just for show, or maybe someone told her that glasses would make her look smarter…

Anyway… back to the story, I mean lesson… Gabe tries to join the conversation- it’s not clear whether he is being snarky or desperate when he offers up his example- as in “Yea, real interesting, you two… what about the Grand Canyon?” As if to top Mark and his little “Obie Falls”  reference… I mean, who the hell has ever heard of “Obie Falls?” Especially since it is found on one of the largest private domains in the lower 48… remember Lost Forest is a “Private Nature Reserve,” either passed down to or accumulated by the Davis Family, now under the stewardship of one “Doc” Davis, soon to be inherited by daughter Cherry, wife to Mark.  Mark’s no dummy… he knows that decades of writing articles for a magazine won’t land him in the tall clover… he needs a meal ticket…

Those are terribly familiar faces in panels 1 and 2, but what the heck is happening to Carina in panel three?  It looks like she’s just bitten down on a lime… I feel like I am trapped in a PBS animated kids show about nature- let’s verbalize every dumb question- and yes, boys and girls, there is such a thing… just to make sure that everyone is staying in step with the”story.”  And I did mean to put “quotes” around the word “story…”

At least the color team hasn’t run out of Gabe’s-shirt blue, Carina’s-top green or Mark Trail Khaki…

…Mark and Carina are making hay? Discoveries??  Like Cooling Temps?  And Flowing water…  what on earth (or in a cave system) could that mean??

It might mean that there’s another reason to hope that they might be able to find a way out… but out to where?  The middle of nowhere without any form of transportation.  One thing we know is that they have kept moving away from where they had been- no secret/hidden beach or crashed airplane (again, what was the point of all that??) to confuse them.

So maybe their next move is to lay Gabe on his back, (neutral buoyancy) climb aboard, and see where the current takes them…

He’s had enough of this shaking!  “Plagued by aftershocks” is how he is choosing to phrase it…  And it would seem that we are still writing the term paper for James Allen’s kid…  Ormori-Utsu?  Describes the decaying relationship between time post-quake and aftershock  intervals… Sort of the opposite of labor pains, I would image, as I’m a guy, where contraction intensity grows and intervals shorten as birth approaches…

Of course by now Mark is growing weary of this discourse…  and you can see on his face the fervent wish that he had Dorothy’s Ruby Red Slippers, the heels of which he could click together and get back to his own version of Kansas…

“I Lost my pack?”  Boy, that’s a long walk for a mighty short drink of water…

OK, not much else to say here… so let’s move on to another, more interesting topic.  If there are any fans of Breaking Bad out there, I have to recommend the prequel series, Better Call Saul.  I am currently resisting the Big Binge urge, but am up to episode 7 of season 1 on Netflix.   I  admit that I was really skeptical.  I really liked Breaking Bad, and I couldn’t abide the idea that a poorly done prequel (like so many are) could spoil that party… that the character of Saul the attorney could drive a back story that is remotely interesting or compelling.. well, I was w-r-o-n-g.  Wrong.  It’s brilliant.

So, with Gabe out of harm’s way, we can now re-join our cast of trapped travelers in their never-ending journey to nowhere…  stay tuned!!

Is that a planet colliding into another one behind him??  Good thing we get to see this action in color, otherwise we’d miss out on half the fun…  In almost 3-D quality, Gabe launches himself out of the way of the falling column…  With Mustache and double chin intact, he appears to have saved his sorry ass one more time…  Do you think now we can get back to the “hidden beach” and the Helldiver airplane with the disappearing and reappearing skelton?

So, how long have we been in the cave?  Since February 1, Ladies and Gentlemen.  That’s right about 100 days…  in human time…  not sure how that translates into Trail-time, but good lord…  time for an alien space ship to land and abduct them.  That’s the only way I can see out of this…

Just like Donald Trump’s…

And it’s difficult to tell whether what is rippling under Gabe’s T-shirt is fat or muscle… I’m betting fat, since it’s harder to image him becoming ripped simply due to terrifying stress… or manufactured stress, for which this strip is famous…

Funny how, even in throes of sheer terror, the kind that would have your entire life flash before you, thought balloons have complete sentences…

It just occurred to me that the approach here is not unlike a storyboard for a movie– where countless drawings envision every detail in order to get timing and scenes just right!  So as we are being asked to wade through these scenes, second by second, we can imagine this all being done to create a full length feature staring Mark Trail!  Casting, though… casting is key…  Who would take on the challenge of playing Mark Trail in the flesh?  Ben Affleck?  Fresh off his “Batman v. Superman” experience, this would seem like a natural…  Like Mark, Ben seems to be perpetually 30 years old, even though he’s half way through his 40’s…

Well good lord, Gabe, don’t stop running!!  Just to watch the column come down on top of you??  Oh dear, what’s to become of Ol’ Gabe?   Monday can’t come soon enough…

Oh Carina, you aren’t the first girl to fall for The Trail…  and you won’t be the last.  As you stand in the passageway, faintly reminiscent of… oh dear readers, you fill in the blank… and as you cop a Trail-feel in panel two, Mark is oblivious to your advances…And what’s with the  hooked arm and clenched fist?  Odd posturing, there Mark…

Gabe, what is your deal- OK I get it, you saw yourself with Carina when this all started, and now that you have invited your “Old Friend” Mark Trail to write an article, a cheap ploy to help you maintain your grant,  he really has horned in and ruined your plans…  so now you are content to be buried alive, martyred on the alter of unrequited affections?  Is there anything more sad than someone who will not save himself?  Is desperation the most difficult thing to witness?  Maybe the ol’ ticker just gave out… too much stress and excitement for one who appears to have gone to the buffet for seconds too many times…

From George Atkins.  Brilliant:

So Carina made a run for it, having apparently abandoned her colleagues to die, only to be surprised/shocked that they are still alive. And while the two hapless souls are running towards her and a possible exit (from the tunnel or the story?), the ever-informative and scheming Mark hopes to confuse Gabe by looking off to the side, yelling “Over there, Gabe!” Or maybe the injury has left Trail addlepated; and he not only does not hear Carina yelling out to them, but seems to be confused by who and what is clearly in front of them.
You see Dennis, it is not just the readers who are confused here, but the characters, themselves. From one sequence to the next, they have no idea what they are supposed to be doing, where they are going, why they are in the cave, or even if they are really supposed to get out of the cave. I’d think they would welcome Jefe and his automatic rifle about now. And point it towards Allen.

***yawn***

…and what were we doing a year ago?  Why, it was Wally and the Beavers!

…and a year before that??  This was Allen’s Maiden Junket with a focus on the Trails…

I don’t know what exactly happened here, but this is interesting… could it be that the death of Jack Elrod in February, 2016 has left poor Mr. Allen adrift?  A competent artist but with little skill in storytelling?  Jim, (it’s OK I call you Jim?) I’m sorry if you see this, but really?  This is becoming just about unreadable…  I mean, Josh, the Comics Curmudgeon, doesn’t even comment on you anymore… It’s like whatever made Mark interesting has left the building…  I can’t believe that I am actually pining for a shot of Rusty and Cherry!  Here’s a hint… there needs to be a Villain.  Oh, I know, it’s Jose Jefe and Human Trafficking, but good lord, man, they are such a distant memory that they can’t even be considered part of the plot line anymore… Even the movie San Andreas, which mostly featured man against a rumbling and unsympathetic earth had character development, back story, love interests burgeoning- some things to keep us interested…

So whither thou goest Mr. Allen?  Find yourself a script-writer and get this train back on the tracks…

Yes, I am back to the notion that Mark is Superman… what with his restorative powers…

By now he is back to normal, no longer needs Gabe’s assistance and is in fact leaving Gage in the dust- literally- of the crashing columns being brought down by the constant tremors…

Please be sure to let me know where you live!  I have had a few responses, but not enough to complete my study!

An astute reader from last week, rustysrealdad, (ha!  just saw that name for the first time!  priceless!) noted that Gabe must have sweated is mustache off… thank goodness it’s back…

So with Mark’s arm wrapped around the now-noble professor, they are making their way out of the cave of crystals, laid to ruin by Madre naturaleza (Mother Nature…) Good thing that they were able to witness the beauty before the whole thing came crashing down around them!

How about, ‘I got this?’

With what I thought would be the strength of 10 Grinches +2,  Gabe hoists the column off’a Mark.  But he asks Mark to help him, broken ribs and all?  Weird.  But Gabe seems able to muster the strength that many “big men” possess, if they can only summon it in times like this…

So let’s see how mobile Mark is with smashed innards.  We should know that by Friday…

Thanks again for your comments… funny, but it would seem that many (at least a couple) of you are from Minnesota… what is it about us?  Trying something new- can you send me your name (first is fine, or just a handle…) and location, submitted in the form below?  Thanks!