Note: Closing out the “Something Fishy” story, which really turned out to be about other things.

(Mon) Saturday’s strip had that feeling for this adventure coming to a quick, “get out of town” ending. Mark delivers his epilogue today. Maybe Mark intuitively knew that local cops would do almost anything to gain the publicity and bragging rights of arresting a state senator. And maybe Klingons caused the train derailment. Or perhaps the story just got away from Rivera, so she brought it to a quick termination. Was this story about a fishing trip? Faulty trains? Toxic spills? Corrupt officials? Mark’s disregard for the law? Or all of the above?

Some critics have complained that Rivera is bad-mouthing Ohio. I don’t see it that way. Cherry simply wants Mark to get away from the toxic chemicals in Ohio, something she has recently had experience with, firsthand. Mark, on the other hand, mistook her comment for a slight against Ohio, itself. But he quickly corrected her. Of course, husbands and wives never misunderstand each other!

Editor’s Note:  My wife and I are going on a “short break”, as they say in England. That is, I’ll be on a brief vacation between today (Saturday) and Wednesday. Whether I will get time to post during this trip is unknown. She would prefer I leave all of my electronics at home, but I’ll see what I can sneak into my backpack. At worst, I’ll post a catchup after I get back.

Wait. Hold the phone! Stop the presses!  Just hold on there, Babba Louie! This ain’t how things are done. None of this makes sense. Anyone seeing today’s strip could assemble a list of errors, non sequiturs, and buffoonery. So I won’t bore you going through an obvious parade of absurdities.

More importantly, though, what is Rivera trying to accomplish here? Why does she lay out this series of improbable and outrageous events? Granted that many, if not most, of Rivera’s Mark Trail stories have been outrageous, goofy, or absurd. But this week’s strips take the proverbial cake.

Is this what the story was actually designed to lead us to:  The downfall of a politician who was bought by the big, bad transportation company in order to cover up major accidents that shine a light on corporate mismanagement and corruption? If so, it’s the fastest damn arrest of a state government official I’ve heard of, without the need for documented investigation, evidence, subpoenas, legal search warrants, or due process. It must be a proof of concept that Mark’s nighttime ride and livestream (echoing Paul Revere) really did make a difference.

And what’s with those red and blue geometric backgrounds in panels 3 and 4? Unreal! But that makes me still think this is some kind of nightmare dream that Mark is having on his train ride to Ohio. Else, Rivera has been getting into the mushrooms.

The suspense builds as drama unfolds. It looks like a very tense moment for everyone. Frankly, I’m on tenterhooks, as I think you are! Will Sam bend to Pavel’s implied threats against his family, or will he . . . oops, sorry! I was viewing Judge Parker. Let me get over to Mark Trail . . . ah, here we are. Oh . . .

Relocate a wildebeest? Does Mark think the cops are going to carry it to South Africa!? Wait. Is Mark concerned about proving corruption of an elected official or indulging in some animal rescue? And what happened to his overriding concern for the safety of all people in the world? Poor Mark, he is plagued by competing transactional priorities.

Art Dept:

I’ve noticed before that Thursdays can feature some of the most questionable art, especially human figures. (Commenter Daniel P. spotted my calendar gaff (this, being Friday, not Thursday), making my “Thursday bad art day” hypothesis obviously invalid. This mistake likely came from my habit of writing most of my posts the night before.)

The figure of Mark in panel 2 is one of the most awkwardly depicted figures I’ve seen outside of grade school. In panel 3, Mark must have shrunk, or Rex’s car turned into a giant SUV. Finally, how come all of Rivera’s cops look more like mall security?

Gee, Mark. Since you are blathering online about your surprise visit to the senator’s house, why don’t you also livestream the route you are taking? That way, the police can locate the yacht Rex is piloting and arrest all of you! Then while you are in jail, Sally will have time to tell some more of her “glory days” stories.

I’m entertaining the hypothesis that the problem isn’t that the wildebeest is such a stupid bribe as much as it is a senator who has some perversely strange hobbies.

From the volume of responses to my closing questions yesterday, it looks like I am either right or I am wrong in my interpretation from yesterday. Perhaps I’ll leave it to History to make that judgement. But for now, I’m going with being right.

Exactly how does Mark know that this senator has actually been “soft” on DDG? And in what ways? I could probably have just copied yesterday’s text and pasted it here. This is all totally absurd, including Rex’s Tardis model of a Trans Am/Firebird.

Anyway, if this is such a serious situation as the first three panels suggest, why does Rivera insist upon concluding with Mark smugly delivering one of his usual, bad Sunday jokes and changing the mood?

Okay. I think I’m moving into the circle of critics who claim that Rivera has deliberately debased the main characters (being Mark and his family) and the focus of the Mark Trail comic strip just to see how far she can push absurdity. Many hardliners will claim this happened a long time ago. Perhaps. But when the characters react to the bribe of a wildebeest in a senator’s backyard with an intensity equal to that of discovering your uncle’s 10-year government travel assignment is actually a 10-year sentence in a federal pen for bank robbery, then I think it is clear something is very, very wrong.

The wildebeest is not even an endangered animal! State senators have little to no control over how federally regulated railroads function. So what’s the point of bribing them? By this logic, DDG would have to own politicians wherever trains run. Very expensive and inefficient! You do these things the Good ol’ American Way:  Fund enough members of Congress to pass laws that hamstring federal safety investigators and regulations.

But even then, Mark and Company are looking in the wrong direction. It isn’t the questionable tactics of a local politician that’s important, but the shenanigans of a national (or international) transportation company (DDG) ignoring safety measures and trying to make a bad incident go away. Mark and Happy (remember him?) should know this. Why does Rivera make them act naïve and foolish?

So, am I wrong? Am I missing something?

A wildebeest? Fine. BFD. I’d actually be more concerned if DDG bribed Senator Smalls with something more practical . . . such as money, expensive cars, or available women. What’s Smalls going to do with this creature, start an illegal wildebeest breeding farm? Sell photos of frightened children sitting on it to doting parents?

I’m guessing Sharp told Rex where the senator lives, but how does this side trip move the story forward? There must be something pretty important about this animal that’s not apparent to us rubes.

Finally, why does Mark care what happens to Bee Sharp? Perhaps Mark suffers from a psychological disorder where he finds affirmation through identifying with criminals. Or he is just a sucker, so he continually excuses the crooks and cons that keep ripping him off and trying to kill him. Ugh. This story is like trying to pick up cooked spaghetti with your hands:  It just keeps slipping out and going every which way.

Gotta give some credit to Rivera for weaving current social and political issues into the strip. Anyway, this is an interesting turn of events. Bee Sharp claims he has been “deep faked”! This ironic excuse comes from a person already exposed as a phony professor giving out phony information.

However, based on his past history, I have doubts about Sharp’s admission of being victimized. In fact, his statement in panel 2 contradicts his conversation with Chet Chedderson back on May 25. Is Rivera being contradictory here or is she laying the groundwork for Sharp to be found out and then publicly exposed (again)?

By the way, does anybody know if “Wildebeest” is some sort of slang? I thought it might be a term for money, but I’ve not found any reference. Otherwise, who in hell would want a gnu?

I really have to wonder what the motivation for this whole story arc is. Okay, Mark plays the “renegade reporter” on the run from agents trying to stop him from getting The Truth out to the American Public. Fine, we get the symbolism. But it isn’t exactly “The Pentagon Papers.”

This sort of conspiratorial humbuggery is not new and is still popular in political and social circles. Yet, it just doesn’t seem to fit Mark’s profile. So why is he putting himself out in the Public Eye like this?

If Mark wanted to impress lots of people that what he has to say is worth breaking the law for, he probably should have spent a few minutes up front letting people know who he is (other than his name), what is background is, and how he came to these conclusions.

Instead, through the miracle of comic strip technology, out of all the people viewing Mark, only one person has managed to somehow inject himself into Mark’s live stream. This should work out well.

I don’t know:  Do you think Rivera is deliberately trying to make Mark look like a bona fide clown? We all know that Mark is talking out of his ass here, since he has done virtually no research or investigation, other than take photos of dead fish.

Now, if Rivera wanted to parody self-declared “online journalists” posting their nonsense and misinformation on the Internet, she could have created a character to do that while having Mark criticize that person’s lack of professionalism. This would also reinforce Mark’s own standing. Instead, Rivera has made Mark the online half-baked potato.

So, is this what Mark’s vaunted journalism really amounts to? Who knows, maybe in this story the accident really was caused by careless railroad workers not doing their best. But Mark didn’t take the time to actually do an investigation, did he?!

Art Dept:  Since when does the back seat of a muscle car (panel 2) suddenly have the space of a Mercedes Maybach? It’s usually just the opposite. I reckon it’s just another case of “artistic license” so Rivera could fit in Mark, the phone, and the text balloons. I think it could have been resolved in a more realistic manner, such as showing Mark a lot closer, like Happy in panel 3.

An adult with a dumb idea? Now, this is what I call journalism! By “journalism”, I mean something a kid would write for a high school paper, such as a gossip column or a profile of the basketball coach.

And why the need to drive? What kind of video can Mark produce sitting inside a car? Does Mark want to broadcast a minute-by-minute report on their flight to avoid arrest by the highway patrol? Maybe he thinks they’ll spot the Senator’s car on the road and pull alongside him to ask those “tough questions” reporters and politicians always like to brag about. And avoid.

Huh? A pun in the first panel? Rivera is shaking things up!

Seems Happy is going “all conspiracy”, while Rex helps goad Mark on. Clearly, logical thinking does not have the seat of honor around this campfire. They just fled from the Senator’s press conference after blasting him with lots of leading questions and blasting the police with leading jabs. The Senator ordered their arrest, but they evaded a police chase. None of this bodes well for their plan to trap the senator. Yet, Mark has his own idea. That’s even scarier….

Looking back, Happy Trail has been a major instigator in this entire disaster, starting with his requirement to ride the train. Then there was his overriding need to investigate the explosion at the station, while coercing Mark to help. Who knows, maybe Happy is just frustrated with things and wants his old comic strip back, even if he has to first railroad Mark.

This is an adventure strip, not a documentary, so I’m always willing to extend some degree of latitude in such mundane things as logic, judgement, and actions. But really, now. Are the railroad and the senator running a smear campaign against Mark and Happy? Hard to say. Do they even know their names? Does anybody else?

Clearly, Rivera portrays the state senator as a stereotypical reactive, “say nothing” politician. In his defense,  he couldn’t know very much, anyway, given that the accident occurred the day before. Meanwhile, the Duck Duck Goose shipping company is publicly spouting the usual misinformation that companies do when trying to position themselves as an innocent party. But I think Mark and Happy have yet to talk to any railroad managers or government inspectors.

So it didn’t help that Mark and Happy barged into a dog-and-pony press conference to try and get answers from a politician, rather than an expert. And it didn’t help that Mark and Happy became belligerent, physical, and need I state it, unprofessional? Mark and Happy sound more like characters on The X Files or Hannity. “Got too close”, huh? Will “the deep state” send out assassins to shut them up, like in the Bourne Legacy?

C’mon, guys! Why haven’t you started working social media and news sites, instead of standing around a campfire in the country, affirming each other’s grievances? Why haven’t you been conducting online research? Why haven’t you bothered to talk with other journalists? In short, why haven’t you two been acting like professional journalists?

Poor, deluded Marky. How can they get out THE TRUTH when they are wanted by THE LAW? The obvious response is “By acting responsibly and professionally in the first place, Mr. Trail.” If they hadn’t been acting like street protesters yelling down a speaker, then taking on local police, they might now have some standing.

The other, perhaps larger, question is why Rivera chooses to push Mark into this role of a reactive, sometimes-out-of-control figure, ignoring normal journalistic standards (and the law), and then acting shocked to find out authorities take that kind of behavior seriously.  It’s one thing to show Mark out of his depth, even clueless from time to time (which seems to be a lot of the time). Is Rivera leaning towards turning Mark into a modern-day Edward Abbey persona, or perhaps one of his Monkey Wrench Gang members? In any event, Rivera can’t have Mark (and Happy) breaking the law left and right, then pretend nobody cares.

I’m just riffing here, of course. It would be a most dramatic reboot of her reboot to go down the Abbey Path. It could get pretty exciting, in fact. Frankly, I don’t see that happening, in part, because newspaper comic strips are still largely bound by socially conservative family values from the days of Ozzie and Harriet. What do you think? Should Rivera turn Mark Trail into a Dark Knight of activist journalism?

You all remember Duck Duck Goose Shipping, that capitalism-is-all company introduced in the illegal zebra mussels adventure (category Zeeba Mussels) two years ago, yes? Back then, CEO Chet Chedderson and his female assistant were forced by Mark and his allies to clean up his company’s cargo ships. Chedderson then made a brief cameo appearance in the more recent Bear Necessity adventure.

I think we have to give Jules Rivera credit for planning ahead with her storylines. During the epilogue of this story (25 May, 2023), Chedderson got in touch with the convalescing faux professor Bee Sharp and hired him to be the company Point Man on train safety. Little did we know back then! We now see Chedderson’s investment paying off.

I mentioned a few years ago that a big corporation like this (with lots of resources) could become a new and really significant adversary for Mark, in addition to the usual small-fry lunatics he deals with. (Parenthetically, these second-stringers are not much different in scale from the poachers, kidnappers, and arsonists the old Mark Trail often tangled with.) Now we have a big, national corporation that won’t take kindly to the interference of a relatively obscure wildlife journalist.

I just hope that Rivera makes this story a real test of wits and courage for once, and not the usual rapid descent into farce. However, I do have one complaint:  Once again Rivera relies too heavily on her limited stable of clown-car bad guys. I’m looking at you, Sharp! I would have hoped Rivera could move forward with Chedderson and his own posse of thugs. Well, maybe Sharp’s appearance in this story will be happily brief.

What a shock. Online parties seem to think that throwing abrasive questions at a state senator during a press conference, followed by slugging guards and evading pursuing police are somehow not proper forms of behavior for reporters. They must be old Trailheads, I’m thinking. Perhaps it’s time that Mark admits that times have changed, and he has become less of a reporter and more of an in-your-face environmental activist.
Speaking of change, I noticed that Rivera’s original of conception of mother, Sally, quickly changed from an insignificant, dowdy blonde-haired matron when introduced back in early July to the silver foxy lady she currently portrays.

I reckon Mark and Happy must have re-awakened Sally’s earlier passions and energy.