Unlike the Russian Oligarch from the other day (“Opulence- I has it…”) who enjoys “savingsdamoney,” Mark better get his bony ass out on the beat again and bring home a little more bacon.  I know I focus on this aspect maybe too much, but I think we (mostly) all live in a world where that bi-weekly paycheck matters…  The phrase, offered sometimes in hushed tones, “I think he lives hand to mouth” or “paycheck to paycheck”  used to suggest someone who hasn’t planned well or saved enough or made enough good decisions in life, but seriously who doesn’t these days?  They are out there, I know a few, but mostly I know people that are a second income away from real hurt…  So Mark, (and Cherry) I hope you consider Mark’s phone ringing a good thing… and not just another reason to be grumpy that he might have to “go away…”

C’mon Bill, enough with the small talk… save me!  Get me out of here!  I have run out of things to talk about!!

Here we go, Trailians…  It’s off to the Great Dismal!!

Yup, the last time you left the office, ostensibly on a fishing trip with Mark, you were given access to one sweet-ass boat, mistaken for a rich guy, abducted by the leader of a band of baddies that controlled one of the barrier islands whose main source of revenue was kidnapping rich people and collecting ransom!  You won’t make THAT mistake again… So instead you call up your “old friend” Mark Trail…  Of course he will jump at the chance!  He’s been home all of two days!!  With “longbow practice” and fishing obligations out of the way, it’s time to hit the road again!!

Impressive memory, Bill!  These days most of us have forsaken the manual collection and storage of random facts and rely on Google!  But not you!  You already know the size of the lake and the port city that will afford Mark access to the Great Dismal!  But Bill, you might want to check those plans…  Checking the map, Elizabeth City is Hell and gone from the Great Dismal… and unless this is one of those fancy boats that also doubles as a car, Mark will have a little trouble getting the hull wet!  And by the way, Lake Drummond, at the center of the Great Dismal Swamp, if that’s what we are referring to, is in fact 5 square miles, which is exactly 3,142 acres…

When he isn’t wining and dining his prospects and crowing about circulation numbers…  Titanium Dioxide… Well, that sent me once again to the google machine.  Turns out Titanium Dioxide is what makes paper and paint white…  White.  That’s appropriate.  Again, we wouldn’t want anything of color creeping into the Trailverse…

Of course, now that James Allen has the tiller, we are constantly trending!  The great controversy surrounding Titanium dioxide is whether it is harmful- a possible carcinogen, and whether or not it should be used in makeup!!  And don’t you just love the name “Riverway Chemical?”  The name connotes all manner of environmental concern and stewardship, until of course we add the word CHEMICAL to the name…  They need to get on the “RESOURCES” bandwagon.  “Riverway Resources” has a much friendlier sound, and is alliterative…  Not unlike the Evil Koch Brothers and their company “Flint Hills Resources…” a ”leading chemical, refining and biofuels company.”  FHR is also a supporter of public television!  Does the intellectual elite even realize that??  OMG!!