What happened to “Dirty?”  Been knocked about by the buffalo… I think we have established, by now, the author’s ability to draw the Cape Buffalo in all its various angles…  Well done, James Allen, but it’s time to move this story along.  Enough single panel episodes that leave one feeling trapped in a bad dream…  And is part of surviving a stampede staying hunched over and low to the ground?  Must be, since that’s what Mark is doing!

The animal to Mark’s left seems to be regarding him with a certain amount of wariness and disdain. Note the sideways glance… The Cape Buffalo Stink-eye, as it were…  looks like Mark has (not surprisingly) his own place within the herd where the animals give him free reign…

…know when to fold ‘em… and clearly Mark is throwing in his hand on Chris Dyer…  poor guy.  Only sort of knew what hit him…  The karmic forces are alive and well in the Trailverse.  But does overrun mean trampled?  Literally?  It actually looks like Chris Dyer is getting overrun by The Fog… not hooves…

But clearly among Mark’s many other skills is the fact that he can out-run a Cape Buffalo at full gallop…  since he appears to be set on rescuing Lori from this marauding herd… and he needs to get out in front of them if he is to do that…

Recap for those who just might be joining story…  Chris “I have a Dirty gambling problem” Dyer has eyes for Lori “I’m a Dentist on the lam” Tompkins, and is afraid that Mark “I am a happily married man but there’s not an invitation I know how to say no to” Trail is getting in between them… So he coaxes Mark out into the tall grass, away from camp, hiding a machete behind his back (I swear I saw it a couple of days ago…) and now they are being overrun by Cape Buffalo, the baddest of Sub-Saharan Bovines…

And judging from the cloud of dust in panel two, there is an actual herd behind these leading two beasts.

Oh the humanity!  The one is bearing down on Dirty, it doesn’t look good, ladies and gents!  He has barely enough time to let out a meager thought balloon…  Will be actually get crushed/ gored/ trampled?  Will Mark get away to save Lori?  Is anyone at camp witnessing the carnage?

The way this strip jumps around these days, tomorrow’s installment might well be all of them enjoying a nice Cabernet, recounting lusty tails of stampedes avoided…  Stay tuned!

The Mighty Cape Buffalo… Nothing to trifle with, it would seem… except these appear to be a special variety with WHITE HORNS…  huh.  I wonder what that means?  Other than right now it appears to be a two-buffalo stampede…  Is that like a two-car funeral, heading for safari camp?  Well, Dirty is getting more than he bargained for at this point…  trying to get Mark eaten by an apex-preditor and ends up stirring up a heard of large bovines…

Whether it’s Bear, Hippo, or other wildlife, James Allen takes us where the action is, that’s for sure…  I wonder if he spends his spare time watching NatGeo??

I don’t have to run faster than the lion, I just have to run faster than you… And without planning this part (I am sure…) Mark’s noble nature is playing right into Dirty’s hand (if you will pardon the gambling metaphor…)  As Mark tells Dirty to Run, he places himself in mortal danger of being Lonely Mr. Lion’s main course…  or Wait…  are my blurry eyes are making out a set of horns?… Not a lion but a stampeding herbivore?  Oh please.  That’s not nearly as exciting…

Of course lions don’t make a BRRRRMMUMBRUMBBLLE sound do they?  Is that two sets of horns and a cloud of dust?  O M G!!  it’s a STAMPEDE!

…dirty appears to be shrinking…  If only to make room for Mark’s lecture…  And Mark, poor Mark, so misunderstood… such is the burden of one who goes through life seemingly without issues or baggage of any kind… the burden of one who finds himself on a five-star safari ten minutes after he finds that his original plans have been scuttled…

And now, Mark, you are taking the place of Dr. Phil??  “How’s that workin’ for ya??”  I can almost hear it in his tone… “Seems the two of you have some things to work on…” More like “Ditch the stupid handle, ‘Dirty,’ grow up and stop thinking in terms of ‘odds’ and getting rich quick…  Take it from me, I have been a kept man for longer than anyone, including me, can remember, and I can tell you, you are going about this all wrong…”  Sage words (again) from Mark Trail…

“Another Man…”  “Another Man”  Dirty, you’ve got issues.  SERIOUS issues.  But at least you get right to the point.  No more “it’s a lovely day on the savanna” for you.  No, let’s get right down to the matter at hand.  Mark, you may have done nothing to earn the enmity of Dirty Dyer, other than be your old obtuse, un-self-aware, unsympathetic self, but there you are, in the tall grass, lured there by the man who sees you as a threat.  A man with questionable natural hair color (does his hairdresser know??) with what appears to be a Machete hidden behind his back…  But Really… where exactly was he hiding that when he was luring mark away from the safety of others??

Let’s recall Chris’s plan…  Dispatch Mark, make the pick-up, sell the goods, pay off gambling debts, win Lori’s heart…  Seems foolproof to me…

I knew a guy in college named “Curt” and we called him “Dirt” because it rhymes and because he was such an asshole… especially with women.  He thought it was great and never figured that the joke was on him…

Yes, and we all know from experience that marriage solves all financial problems…  makes perfect sense.  Again, with the “I Bet” language…  Dirty, it’s a freakin’ wonder the two of you ever got together in the first place…  I mean really, what could she possibly see in you??

But wait!! Is that Mr. Lion in the very foreground of the panel?  Looks like it!  Where on earth is the animal life so thick that it won’t fit all into the same frame?

“Dirty Dyer?”  You have to be kidding.  Your Friends call you “Dirty?”  But only your “Good Friends?”  Really??

Well, I for one applaud the return of absolutely inane dialogue and plot lines…  it’s almost as if Jack Elrod coaching James Allen through this story- Stage whispers, if you will…

Well, “Dirty,” you are going to have to lure Mark further away from camp if you are going to do him any harm and make it look like an animal attack…

I have a new take on what’s happening with that Lion…  He’s not hunting, he’s homeless!  He challenged the “Lion King” and is now cast out from the Pride…  and everywhere he goes he is unwelcome…  and referring back to Kipling’s “The Elephant’s Child,” I recall his Aunt the Giraffe gave him a good kick in the pants…  so maybe a Giraffe kick is nothing to mess with after all…

Ominous thought balloons coming from the cab of the truck…  Chris “Makin’ it up as I go along/ Livin’ by my wits” Dyer’s plan is forming up nicely.  He will make Mark’s demise look like an accident!  Yea! That’s it… How he plans to pull that off should be entertaining…  doesn’t he realize that it’s Mark that holds dominion over the Animal Kingdom, how Mark was able to summon a bigger bear to attack the bear that was after him???

And speaking of dominion, what happening around Mark in Panel two?  Is he literally sitting on a cloud, hovering as if god-like in the presence of mere mortals??  Well, Mark, it’s nice of you to come down off your lofty perch and walk with the common folk, even those who mean to do you harm!

Gee, I wonder what it could be?  Counterfeit Beanie Beanie Babies??  Pirated DVD’s?  Chinese Computer Operating Systems?  Blood Diamonds?  Oh, that’s right- it’s bound to be Rhino Horn destined for the Asian market where it’s used as an aphrodisiac… I guess Western Medicine in the form of Cialis and Viagra has yet to translate to Eastern markets… the whole sitting in separate tubs thing probably doesn’t work, not in a culture known for communal bathing…

Your plan is perfect, Chris, with the exception of two things- Mark will not be easily taken “out of the way” and Lori can’t stand you.  Other than that, have fun!

The two beings in this single panel strip that have the most in common are the Lion and Chris.  Neither are getting what they want.  And are probably going to act out as a result.  Got news for you, James Allen, the lionesses of the Pride do the hunting…  While the males fight amongst themselves to protect their position and their harem.  This lion was probably awoken from a nap, which is why he is cranky… and has absolutely no interest in bagging a baby pachyderm…

Oh, Mark.  You can say whatever you want and Lori will buy it, won’t she… and what are you doing continuing to stand next to her?  While Chris rides in the forward cab?  Chris was supposed to be doing that, but then you came along.  Did you “tell Chris you are happily married,” or did you forget to do that??  And Lori- What a Trollop…  “Oh Mark, the Animal Kingdom…” blah blah, eyelashes batting, grabbing him and holding him close… really??

For whatever reason, all access to the full color strip on all the usual sites was unavailable this morning…  but no matter… the story has turned decidedly dark anyway…  with Mark mooning and pining for Cherry and Chris Dyer plotting to take Mark out “in the tall grass…”  Is this the African equivalent of “the woodshed??”

But this is camping at its finest- recall the linen on the table, the Pinot Noir served with dinner, now look at the loft on the not one, but TWO pillows on Chris Dyer’s cot!  Holy Goose-feathers!!  This is more than most people have in their homes…

But certainly the plot thickens as Chris “I need to get out of debt” Dyer plans his next move, which involves disposing of Mark Trail…  and since Mark has not been in contact with anyone else, who’s to know where he is or who he is with…  it’s almost the perfect crime…

Might want to put a ring on your finger Mark, it would only be fair to the people you encounter, especially lovelorn folk that either want you or are made jealous and uncomfortable by you…  what a quaint notion, though, that simply telling Chris you are a “Happily Married Man” and that “You love your wife very much” will “ease his mind…”  And Mark, Chris will not understand, since he simply can’t have what it is he wants.  Lori has herself to blame here… you don’t go on Safari with a potential love interest without making your intentions and feelings well known and understood…

And Mark, what has given you the impression that Chris is at all reasonable?  He seems as volatile and desperate a man as has ever graced the panels of the Mark Trail comic strip.  In fact, I would lay odds (using Chris’ terms…) that he will meet up with a Mark Trail Haymaker before this is all done…

So with Lori completely UN-reassured, and deeply disappointed that Mark is not in play, Mark toddles off to bed…

Oh, careful there, Mark.  That touch to your unshaven (but who would know since you don’t grow whiskers) chin spells trouble.  If Chris Dyer sees that gesture, without the words, he could easily misconstrue and have his fears confirmed… That Lori has fallen for you!!

But seriously, Mr. James Allen, do we really want our hero dishing out relationship advice?  What Mark knows about love one could fit into an eye-dropper…  Where are the baddies?  Where are those evil poachers?  C’mon let’s dispense with the “As the Trail turns” and get on with something that will require Mark to Punch a Poacher and save a White Rhino!

And thank you, Lori Tompkins, for using the objective form of the first person pronoun, “me,” instead of “I.”

Is it because you maintain the veneer of caring?  When in fact people confuse and bore you?  Especially when they are want to share with you all their tawdry history?  So you raise your glass at the prospect of having Lori tell you something in private, only to respond with a confused and shocked look in panel two… are you reacting to the fact that Lori has “known Chris for several years,” or that she feels like she has “made a mistake?” that is the greatest “oh crap” look I have ever seen…

But Lori, let’s get real here…  Are you and Chris “Friends with Benefits” or are you merely “Safari Buddies?”  We need to define terms here…  And how could he not fall in love with you?  You of the raven hair and impossibly small waist…

This has GOT to be a first!  I don’t think I have ever seen Mark with an adult beverage…  And I will give Chris credit, if it’s due him, he really knows how to entertain!  What a spread- fine dining al fresco with the Springbok noshing on the foliage in the foreground…

Given Chris’ 180-degree turn of attitude, he seems to almost be setting Mark up… Leaving him alone with Lori!  Has Mark even bothered to tell Lori that he is married?  Well, that would just spoil the fun, I suppose…  I do like this, though, much better than Mark getting into trouble in his own back yard (albeit a BIG  back yard) and having Cherry come to the rescue…

OK, a couple of thoughts:  first, this installment almost seems out of sequence…  The conversation would have been had right after the “Mark saves Taurus from the marauding Hippo” scene… but apparently they are want to re-live Mark’s heroics and cleverness long after they happened…  and second, who is “leading” this safari?  Apparently it is Chris Dyer… my assumption that Lori Tompkins was behind this- sort of a bucket list thing- was wrong…  So in addition to having a chronic gambling problem and being in hawk up to his eyeballs, Chris Dyer is also experienced in the ways of the Savanna?  I am starting to hear his voice- Afrikaans…  Deep South African roots.  White supremacist.  Oh, this is getting interesting…  He isn’t in love with Lori, he sees her as a “Mark,”  ha!  Get it??

Nice Aryan buzz-cut, Chris…  sort of a Dolph Lundren special… And again with the gambling references- “I would’ve laid odds…”  Do chronic gamblers really think like that and speak these tired, hackneyed phrases?  I think they do…

Our party does not waste any time…  last we knew it was night-time, a full moon and Chris Dyer was professing his longings for Lori Tompkins.  But now the truck is packed and Mark and Lori are once again commanding the best views while Chris simpers and molders riding shotgun with Taurus, or one of the other (at least) 3 porters, since these vehicles don’t drive themselves!!  I wonder if one of them is named George?

And, true to form, Mark remains oblivious to the “drama” that unfolds and involves him…  Good to know that Mark’s obtuse nature and relative position on the autism spectrum remains unchallenged…

And how it sucks to be one of the cloven hooved denizens of the African savanna…  You are born to run, to become some apex predator’s meal, only to be converted to carrion and picked over by hyena and vulture…  not very dignified, now is it?  I am guessing wildebeest… aka the Gnu…

James Allen has them.  Elrod did not.  Still adjusting to this new world where people have hearts and such… And also where people, even the men are not afraid to show them, or a world where men bleach their hair and leave their big, thick, dense black eyebrows untouched…  or is it the other way around?  Does Chris Dyer color his brows and leave his blonde mane au naturale?

Again, I say, it’s just plain weird, if not cruel, to lead a man on…  to bring him on safari only to break his heart…  I mean, how long have these two known each other?  Do they have history?  Did they at one time play on a level field??  Are they sharing a tent but that’s all?  Lori Tompkins, you are an evil and wicked temptress!  But then the look on your face in panel two, out of view of your frustrated former lover, says it all…