RELAX…  And of course it’s been fun watching your clothes dry and hair return to its “natural” state, all in a trice…

Love the architectural detail on the Wilkins house…  that eyebrow dormer is classic!  Rarely seen on a log home…

Mark, you know exactly what Vince is talking about!  Your “home” isn’t really yours either…  Lost Forest, that place you lay your head down in between junkets, might as well be considered “ancestral” too, considering we have no idea where you come from and what put you on this earth…

At first I thought I had overslept, by about a week… but we fast forward to Vince Wilkins’ crash pad where we find a still dripping Mark Trail starting to “Come Around…”  Apparently Vince was “punting around” near the blast site and found Mark bobbing around in the flaming wreckage and pulled him to safety.  BGwPT is gone now for sure…  Fine with Mitchum, that’s one less witness to have to worry about, take care of or pay off…

Yea, I bet your ears are ringing, Mark.  Considering how close you were to the blast and the fact that there isn’t a piece of the boat left you couldn’t fit into a suitcase, it’s a miracle you aren’t dead.  But like I have said and have to keep reminding myself, the strip is named “Mark Trail,” and unless James Allen wants to bring Mark back from the dead, he has to keep him alive.  But seriously, when do the cumulative effects of all the sustained head trauma start to manifest??  Or at least the psychological effects of all the beatings begin to emerge??

Well, Mitchum is certainly back to smug mode…

Mitchum, you really are evil, aren’t you?  I underestimated your ability and willingness to kill people.  “If you husband is still alive…” Not to mention the fact that you stranded BGwPT somewhere in the swamp where he’s sure to become gator meat…  And BGwB is OK with all this?  Maybe he and PT don’t go back that far, maybe they hooked up in stir and came out thinking they could do “jobs” together but that there’s not a lot of history or loyalty here…  and is thinking that now he doesn’t have to share in whatever fee Mitchum has promised…

Could it be all those years playing understudy to Jack Elrod, waiting for him to hand over the wheel??  Poor Mark!  I mean what did he do to deserve all the danger he’s been placed in since he went off on his local adventure where he finds himself treed, with an injured shoulder, overnight, by an angry Black Bear with a sore foot…

So as Mark calls out for his Cherry, we see that there is only so much buoyancy we can count on… And even if he remains afloat, face down isn’t going to do it…  and isn’t <<gurgle, gurgle>> a more accurate noise when face-down in the water, not ‘UUUNNNHHH?’

But good gravy, people, these are violent and desperate times we live in, right?   Is there nothing a person won’t do once intoxicated by the potential for profit??  Murder?  Mayhem?  Thy name is Mitchum!

I will say one thing for James Allen.  He sure likes to blow sh*t up…  And judging by the silhouettes, I’d say that BGwPT took more of it than Mark did…  in fact he may have shielded him somewhat…  Only this time there is an extra ‘O’ in B O O O M…

Empty Vessel you say?  Never an Empty Vessel when Mark is around.  His cup always runneth over even in the most dire of situations.  One might assume that they are both dead or stunned to the point where drowning is a given, but don’t lose faith, dear readers, people have been known to survive these kinds of things in the Trailverse…

Let’s just say for argument’s sake that the keel on the Swan is fixed and the overall draft is 8 – 10 feet… and that the water there is at least a few feet deeper so as not to damage said keel,   it makes “punting” out to the boat depend on having a pole at least 20 feet long… And Mark, wouldn’t it have been better to knock BGwPT out and leave him stranded with the Alligator?  Rather than have him along as a constant nuisance and threat??

Plus I would imagine that BGwPT knows something Mark doesn’t…  that the ignition is rigged to blow the whole thing into oblivion…  this information asymmetry does neither of them any good, though, as Mark forces them both back onto the boat…  And Speaking of getting back on the boat, did someone think to leave the ladder down?  Otherwise, they will need Jedi powers to get back on board…

I still don’t understand this whole “hostage taking” thing…  how this makes anything any easier… if the goal is to get Justin and his “friends” (and their ilk) out of the way, he’s going about it in a very clumsy way…

BGwPT must be thinking…

Your boat??  Really, Mark??  OK, so it’s yours to use, but that’s about it.  And let’s hope it’s well insured without any exclusions for losses related to terrorist acts…   But it’s great how BGwPT just stands there, all bald-pated and slack-jawed, with all the fight taken out of him…

But what about the dude Vince Wilkins who appeared briefly looking for boat motor parts, who was “punting” around in his backup boat??  How does he feature?  Does the Bull Shark swim upstream in the brackish waters and wreak havoc with those who are bent on doing bad??  Oh the suspense!!

Wouldn’t your cousin’s interests be unaffected??  Unless he sold you the land on a Land Contract or something and there are still payments to be made??  OK, I know I over-think these things and there is only so much detail one could fit into the daily frames before it would become completely stalled and unreadable… Sort of like Star Wars Episode I, II and III (not IV, V and VI) where we were treated to a terribly boring story line about how Jedi Knights were dispatched to break an impasse over what?  Embargoes and Trade routes?  <<yawn>> and that set the tone for the entire movie…  complete with votes of no-confidence in the Galactic Senate  <<double yawn>> and Jedis protecting Politicians (OK, now that’s just stupid…)

But I digress.

Certainly one thing that’s nice, though, is that Mitchum feels compelled to share everything about his motivations, which certainly helps move the story along…  “So don’t ‘Buddy’ me,” says Mitchum…  “I have a plan and I am going to execute on it!”

Age can be so deceiving in the Trailverse.  Hard to make a positive determination…  but if Mitchum and Justin “started” Riverway (nee Petrox) Chemical “15 years ago” and he doesn’t look to be a day over 30… And once again it becomes very clear that Mitchum hasn’t completely thought this one through as far as what to do with all the people involved…

But oh, Justin, turning on the Ol’ Droopy Dog / Sad Puppy Dog Eyes routine…  do you think that’s really going to work?  Clearly you are in league with a mercenary heart and there’s only one thing that’s going to move him- and that’s money.

BGwPT will NEVER be able to show his face at the bad guy union hall again!  Bested by a Nature Writer!!  Who is right handed and bats left!!  Right finger on the trigger, left arm akimbo, Mark you certainly cut quite the intimidating profile…

Yes… Meanwhile, back on the SWAN…  BGwB, formerly a demolitions expert with the Navy SEALS, has rigged the explosives and handed the modern-day plunger to Mitchum…  And goodness, what a demanding sort you are, Mitch, calling out that BGwPT is putting you terribly behind schedule…

Are Cherry and Justin knocked out?  Tied up?  C’mon people, where’s the struggle?  You only got one Bitch-Slap in you??

You are so confused, aren’t you??  “I’d better help him out?”  What?  Help him see the error of his ways, get him to turn away from his life of crime?  Pursue a life on the grid??  I guess Mr. Ponytail has high-tailed it out of the swamp and has left his gun behind.  Does Mark use the gun on the Gator?  Of course not, he grabs a big stick to “Scare the Gator Away…”  Forgive me, but I doubt highly whether that Gator is going to respond to that in the way Mark anticipates…  But nevertheless, with the magnum wedged smartly in the back of Mark’s waistband, he grabs the stick and takes a whack…  But what’s this?  More left-handed-ness…  With Mark’s right hand at the bottom of the stick, this is the posture that would be assumed by one hitting from the first base side…

So with the Gator’s work done and now dispatched, Mark will go waive his gun in Mitchum’s face and save the day?  Seems like we are still at something of a stalemate here…  it’s a battle of wits between two guys who are unfamiliar with how evil really works (witness the cluster that is unfolding on the boat vs. the undying virtues of one Mark Trail)  But we all know how this is going to turn out… or do we?  Death has visited the Trailverse from time to time…

AAAHHH!  That is a mighty feeble reaction to being confronted by a 14 foot behemoth…  And surely Mark is snickering to himself as BGwPT falls into “his” trap.  But what about the time-honored cliché of “gun hits ground, gun discharges round??”  is there even any truth to that??  Apparently not, so thank you James Allen for not falling into that trap…

But oh my, let’s all hope that the gator doesn’t disappoint in the next installment!  How awesome would it be to see the Baddie half ingested, legs already down the gator-gullet, with a horrified shriek emanating from his bad-guy maw??  Sort of like the scene from Jaws with Quint half eaten by the shark!!  Remember that they stole their bad-guy boat from him (or his estate) or somehow reconstructed it after the shark tore it apart…  Oh whatever…

OK, dating myself a bit by harkening back to a David Bowie Lyric… But c’mon “Buddy,” Let’s Dance…

We now see Mr. Pony Tail favors his left hand, a sinister trait that has been ascribed to all manner of deviant thought and behavior, only to be debunked later and attached to all manner of creative and divergent thinking… and let’s be clear:  Michelangelo and da Vinci were left-handed, as were three of the last four occupants of the White House; the only right-handed President since the end of the Cold War has been George W. Bush.  You be the judge…

Mark, you are so clever these days!  I am not used to the level of cleverness with which you have been imbued now that you are under new management.  The old Trail was full of broad, clumsy, blocky maneuvers, while the new Trail is full of cunning and pluck!  Only you would know the “front” from the “back” of the gator mound, and strategically snap the one stick that would reveal your position and lure your adversary into harm’s way…

Interesting that BGwPT feels a level of familiarity to call out to Mark by Last Name… albeit with a question mark attached.  He knows he’s not in his element and may rue the day he signed up for this “job…”

One thing that Mark hasn’t lost, though, is his taste for high-water inseams that reveal his freakishly skinny ankles.

…always happen in concert with Nature…  Whether with Rex the Territorial Grizzly or some other something he happens upon, the way out is usually found with the help of a four-legged beast.  Does Mark have control, dominion even, over these animals?  Or is he just lucky in a karmic sort of way??  And just how he’ll use the Alligator mound to his advantage remains to be seen…

Thanks to his use of Brylcreem and sporting quick-dry clothing from top to bottom, one would never know that Mark was recently punched and dunked…  Watch out, Pony Tail, you are about to meet Mr. Gator!

…and Man with Erect Pony Tail has one of them, since we know that Mitchum is on the SWAN waving the other one around like he’s all that…

Mark, you have been knocked senseless so many times in your long and timeline-defying life it’s a wonder you can think at all…  but you always come through, whether it’s upsetting the hornets’ nest to get a drop on the Indian Artifact thieves, or entrapping the Senator’s aide into thinking you have recorded something incriminating, catching a Turtle Poacher or a Cheating Bass Fisherman red-handed, it’s only a matter of time before you turn the tables on these louts and we can return to a world where right is right and wrong gets punished…

Either Mitchum bleeds easily or that was quite a slap!  The very essence of the Bitch Slap, defined by the Urban Dictionary as “To open-handedly slap someone. Denote disrespect for the person being bitch slapped as they are not worthy of a man sized punch. Suggests the slap was met with little resistance and much whining.”  Bingo.

And guess what, oh Over-Excited One?  Cherry has already called your bluff.  That gun probably isn’t even loaded!  And Bad Guys rarely use words with 6 syllables…  Note how BGwB, now deep in thought, is wasting precious cycles just trying to keep up with what you are saying!!

Cherry, Honey, there’s a difference between surviving and thriving…  relative to the whole ‘fight or flight’ decision, Mark seems only to know ‘flight’ these days.   Yes, running allows one to survive, but picking the right fight can help a person thrive…

Huh? Huh?  What did I tell you??  In the brave new James Allen Trailverse, Cherry is the Alpha and Mark “I can take a punch and then run for help” Trail is no longer.  “Give up?” Mitchum must be thinking, “But I have the high ground here…”  That’s before he gets a face full of wrath, much deserved, by the way, based on that awfully smug look he has in panel two.

So while Bad Guy #1 (BG w/ Beard or BGwB) looks on, and Mitchum tries to collect himself after taking a blow, will Mark be able to out-run (again, to where?) BGwPT?  And what use is Justin Holland?  Cowering and simpering in the corner, no doubt…

Why don’t you take care of the guy coming after you?  At lease that evens the odds a bit…  We know now that Cherry is bad-ass and can probably take the other two guys while Justin cowers in the corner…

So, as Mark heads off in a random direction, the chance of ever seeing him again is slim…  I am sure that many a well-meaning soul has gone into the swamp only to lose the Trail, never to been seen again…  (ha!  Get it??  Lose the TRAIL??)

If it’s one thing I know that Cell Phones don’t cotton, it’s water.  Hell.  Moisture of any kind.  Unless Mark carries a phone specifically meant to endure a dunking, he’s dreaming.  I have a friend who once lost her phone whilst boating on the St. Croix, and ever the wit, she borrowed a phone to change her greeting: “Hello, you have reached <name withheld>’s cell phone, currently it’s at the bottom of Lake St. Croix.  If this is an emergency, please call me on my home phone, xxx-xxx-xxxx….

Besides, Mark, you are at least a couple of days’ slog up the ICW, and the sh*t’s going down NOW…  Better think again.  Roll your head around until that brain of yours seats and makes positive contact with both electrodes…  Besides, how far is he from the SWAN?  A couple of hundred feet?  I mean, can’t he be seen in all his dripping glory?  Isn’t he well within shooting range?  I’d duck, Mark, if I were you…