A secluded area…

…not far from a RANGER STATION?  Whatever part of M Trail Inc. scripts this dialogue must know I get up every morning and look to make fun of it… “Secluded area not far from a Ranger Station.”  Uh, OK…  I guess we’ll know soon enough why that’s important…  I am still dying to know who the blonde is in the framed portrait on Shelley’s nightstand…  These things can’t go unmentioned, and certainly they would not have gone to the trouble of inking it if it did not feature in some future plot point… But isn’t Wesley the picture of success under an old-time/ robber baron/ we love profit era?  ***sigh*** As we head into another round of “Teddy Roosevelt and the Trust busters,” we can only look upon such vim and vigor and say, “we knew you when…”

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Love the first panel- no rack-focus here…  cranking the aperture down and keeping near and far in crisp focus, we get to see male and female bonding over cups of strong black coffee… Wesley, with his hand on Mark’s shoulder and Shelley, who by now must be sweltering in her ribbed turtleneck sweater, remaining nonplussed by the notion of sleeping on the ground under canvas, regarding the whole thing as “silly…”  Careful there, Lassie, you have just entered the Trail-verse, where such notions are met with less than an approving nod.  Mark’s Cherubic face, on display in panel two, makes us think that he’s on the verge of tears, so excited is he to go in to the woods, not on assignment…

Apparently someone is anxious to move this story along…

How many times have we remarked, while watching a story arc build ever too slowly, “OK, enough already…  can we just get on with this?  It would seem that our writer was anxious to have Shelley employ her Dale Carnegie Training (Always use the person’s name when interacting with new-found acquaintances…) in panel two where she blurts out awkwardly “MARK AND CHERRY TRAIL!”  Not so much as a question mark in that offering, so confident is she!  But then it must be chilly up in the clouds, otherwise, why would our visitors be so wrapped in warm clothing!

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Channeling Howard Hughes, Wes (I’d rather call him Wesley) Thompson, is resplendent in his fedora and sweater/ blazer combination…  wringing his hands in anticipation of taking to the woods with one Mark Trail, whom he secretly wishes he could “chuck it all” and just be…  Ever smug, Mark busily answers to the thought that Wesley is apparently having, otherwise his blurting out of “YES, I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO THE CAMPING TRIP” just seems a little awkward.  But then, that’s Mark.

Cherry Baby!

Thank goodness we only have to endure one more awkward hand gesture from Editor Bill Ellis…  Seriously, what is he doing with his right hand?  Is he in mid-thrust on a hand shake, looking to take Mark’s Manly Paw into his?  Or is the hand going to continue its upward trajectory and find paydirt inside the Editorial Schnozzola?

But wait… “Time away from Work?”  What on earth are you talking about Mark?  Work?  You?  Huh.  Like what you do is SOOOO stressful. I don’t know, perhaps I underestimate what burdens are brought to the life of a self-righteous Nature Writer…

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But let’s tarry no longer on that, let’s get to the transformational pose being struck by one Cherry Trail- And unlike in the Northern tier where Spring has hardly made a ripple on the collective populace, in Atlanta, home to Lost Forest, Spring is clearly in full bloom and Mark and Cherry are enjoying lunch, picnic style, with Cherry pulling out all the stops with the halter top and short shorts!!  Andy, Turn away! There may be shenanigans in the making!  And oh, could the bread be any Whiter?  We have serious diversity issues in the Trail-verse- even the bread has refused to yield…

Capital idea, Trail!

He says with his finger gesturing mightily… But what exactly is Mark doing with his left thumb in the first panel?  And, um, Bill?  Do you ever actually SIT BEHIND your desk or in your comfy chair, or is furniture to you just so much stuff to lean on??

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“You could set up a camp and act as a guide…” Well, duh.  Isn’t that what one does when one “escorts” people on a camping trip?  Get things set up and make sure they come back in one piece?  And Heaven forbid Mark should have to interact with Shelley! “So, Cherry, you down with this?  Don’t know these people, but I have been led to believe that this Shelley chick is a little squeamish, so no ‘Toads in foot of her sleeping bag’ trick, OK?” And what of the other Trail family? Is Rusty to Stay with Doc?  Does Andy get to go?  Tension mounts!!

Why Trail comforts

“Never is heard, a discouraging word, and the skies are not cloudy all day…” Appreciate the look on Mark’s face.  The Calm, the Equanimity.  The knowledge that life is good.  Roles are distinct.  “I live by my own code and always come out on top.  I can play in the woods or the city, it doesn’t matter. I am Trail…”  Check out the Hat (and the pose) on the lady in the background.  Clearly they are on Madison or Park Avenue!

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OK back to the story… Editor Bill Ellis has another favor to ask of Mark… And by the way, is Trail on salary here, or does he get paid by the story?  Oh that’s right, it doesn’t matter.  He married into the Lost Forest Empire, complete with swanky log cabin and a bottomless cup of coffee!  Shelley, with an ‘ey’ on the end, a girl who after years of shacking up with the wealthy benefactor, who finally made an honest girl out of her,  (sound familiar Mark? How long had you been stringing Cherry along before you made a commitment to her?) now wants to “fix” her and cure her of the misguided notion that the Great Outdoors is ‘icky.’

 

NEW YORK OFFICE?!?

Ok let’s count the ways in which this scene is truly anachronistic… First off, it would appear that in the Trail-verse, Print Media is still alive and well…  the internet has yet to make its presence felt… have you picked up an issue of Time Magazine lately? It’s wafer thin… Second, the sumptuous office of the editor- big wooden desk, built to take the full weight of a grown man leaning against (suggestively) without yielding an inch, the overstuffed chair to drape oneself over (even more suggestively) third, the fact that both men are dressed like a scene out of MadMen- full suits and ties, and nice pocket square, Mark… And finally, the fact that Mark still gets all cleaned up to go into town to meet with his editor face to face… I think that is charming

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And why is everyone an OLD friend?  Like they have known each other since the Pleistocene?  SO glad Mark found the time to actually write the article he was assigned…  He has truly superhuman abilities, in between tackling embodied evil wearing fins (shorts ones, but fins nonetheless) and bragging about saving Rusty, apparently he was able to crack off a few thousand quality words…

What the— Where are we?

Not the subtlest scene change ever executed, that’s for sure…  but no matter…

Shelley and Wes, Wes and Shelley… one of them sure knows Trail, since Mark has effectively created, even from Lost Forest, and only writing about nature, established zero degrees of separation for everyone on the planet…

Another swanky scene, though- dig the gilded frame and the poofy valance… the fine bone china cup in Shelley’s delicate hand, while sitting up in bed with her robe on, as if she didn’t expect someone to come in a wait on her…

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“I’d like to talk to you” usually precedes something of significant weight, portends and ominous tone… But no, Wes just wants to know if Shelly might not like to “go on a camping trip.”  “Oh Wes, honey, you know that my idea of roughing it is not having a mint on my pillow…”  “Don’t worry your pretty little head, my dear, you know Caruthers will be with us to wipe our backsides and such… oh c’mon, it will be fun!”

But who is in the picture on the nightstand???frame     Not a little girl, that’s for sure, she seems to have Daddy’s golden, flowing tresses…

Back to Lost Forest… *sigh*

Love the fact that they killed the fatted Chicken in honor of Mark and Rusty’s return!  And also pulled out the “small portion green glob food stuff” for everyone!  Andy is sitting in rapt attention wondering what all the hubbub is about… “hmm. Large, angular man and smaller version of same return to pack.  Need to make sure I am not stuck with the old man with Lockjaw and the female again…”

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But really, what could be more perfect?  Saturday prediction:  Mark takes walk with Cherry and explains (again) that travel is “part of his job…”

Meanwhile, back at Bluegill’s house…‏

…preparations are being made to return to Lost Forest!  Rusty is checking boundaries…  in the spirit of the age-old maxim “what happens at fishing camp stays at fishing camp…”

“Can I tell Cherry and Doc that I was snooping around in other people’s private property and got myself in a real pickle as a result?”  “Sure, Rusty, as long as you help me maintain my mystique as ‘the one who time and again saves other peoples’ bacon…’  and deflect any thoughts or notions that I basically ignored you for hours at a time and allowed you to get into harm’s way…”

And Mark, I think you are giving Rusty a bit too much credit to suggest that he purposely “dropped his camera…”

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But with another mystery solved, all is right in the Trail-verse.  We can now breathe easy as life returns to normal… But oh, wait… a deadline looms for Mark, assuming he actually turns in any of the articles that have been assigned to him…

The evil “Rusty will never actually fish” theme continues!‏

Looks like Bluegill’s hat has settled down and returned to base… 04032013 hat  But now what of the future?  What of Rusty’s continued desire to wet a lure and land a lunker?  For students of the Trail milieu, we know full well that this was but another close call in a series of plots that begin with Rusty so excited and the prospect of “going fishing” he could pee, only to be denied again the chance to engage is said activity… Sort of like Lucy Van Pelt holding the football for Charlie Brown only to have her snatch it away as he drives his kicking leg forward, with Charlie Brown ending up on the ground, cloud of dust and a resounding “whump!” Yet he returns… no wiser for his disappointment.

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Mark will return to see Bluegill only if Editor Bill Ellis sends him, so Rusty and Bluegill, don’t get your hopes up!  Now it’s time to return to Lost Forest to kiss the dog, the wife, recount lusty tales of farmed fish, light up lures and ambition gone bad…  No sign of Bassy or Catfish…  no headlines… no future scenes of Rusty being forced to testify for the prosecution at his own kidnapping trial… No public service message with Rusty’s face on a milk Carton… “Have you seen this boy?? He likes to fish…”

Well. That was Fast!‏

How exactly do “Tournament Officials examine” bass?  Is there a mobile lab on site?  Gene sequencing in a trailer?  One would think that a sample would have to go off to a heralded state college for such work… And what, exactly, marks a fish as having been “farm raised?”  Evidence of corn-cob pipe and overalls?

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I love the sequence of expressions on Bluegill’s face… but wonder about the hair on the tournament official- it goes from combed back to tight afro in a wink, sort of a Tom Jones look…  And Bluegill’s hat is at least as happy as he is.  Rich, though?  Perhaps not.  Reminds me of the classic, “Norton, we’ll be millionaires!” from Jackie Gleason days… and good for Elrod to play this out, and not cut immediately back to Lost Forest for another round of sad, weepy, unfulfilled Cherry.  I can stand a few more days before Mark dashes her hope against the rocks of experience…

And where the heck is RUSTY?  Once again, the lad has managed to stay out of the frame-shot…  I worry about him…

Legal and Safe?‏

Just how many instances in the history of Bass Fishin’ can compare to two guys hatching and executing a diabolical plan to build an empire on a foundation of sand- one that only awaits the keen eye of a nature writer before all is revealed??  But seriously, once again we are focused on the small potatoes of catching more fish than anyone else- what of the abducting and holding against his will one Rusty Trail, the ultimate pawn in this whole story…

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“We didn’t know Rod was cheating…”  Of course you didn’t, since you never got out of that cushy zero-gravity chair or out from under your “Tournament Official” shelter to see what was really going on… And really, what’s to become of Rod and Catfish? Do they take the offensive and try to rescue their now threatened empire?  Think of all the jobs Mark just cost in terms of Chinese labor, now that the “Rod Bassy Killer®” is no longer a force on the market…  Never mind the mortgage on the fancy co-op in the city… Rod will surely have to move to less opulent digs…

Yes, Mark, guys like Rod are the “exception…” and without you, they would continue to run rough-shod over the trusting landscape.  Well done!

Wrappin’ it Up! With a Bow!‏

No waiting ‘til Monday!  How considerate of Mr. Elrod…

You know, without pictures, if one just had the dialogue, this gets even funnier… “Talk, Catfish!”  “Gurgle, glug, glug…” And apparently, the helicopter being employed in the take-down is of the stealth variety…  making only a whisper of  sound over which Mark can be heard to deal the verbal death knell to Ol’ Rod Bassy… “Your fishing days are OVER!”  Ha!  And Rod just stands there like a statue, the errors of his crooked life racing through his mind…

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The fact that Rusty has been tied up and kept in the same position for well on 48 hours, the poor lad by now must have lost all feeling in his hands and his back side…  but then one gets the feeling that he likes it that way…  And Mark, oh Mark, thy Trail be done!  With your hair all mussed up , you almost look human.  What’s that again, Rusty? “MMMPHH!” And Really Mark? Does Cherry REALLY need to know what went down when Rusty was in your charge?  Stay tuned everyone!

Carl Lewis? Usain Bolt? They got nothin’ on me!‏

“Run,  Run as fast as you can, you can’t catch me, I’m the Catfish man!”

Ha!  Catfish is running the 200 meter high hurdles, wearing fins!  Little fins, to be sure, but fins nonetheless…  I really wanted to see an underwater chase and struggle, but alas, it wasn’t to be.  Mark hasn’t made a good open-field tackle in months!  That must feel really good!

And Rod’s posture is great!  You can almost see the look on his face!

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And a helicopter?? That wasn’t part of the plan!  Whose side do we think it’s on?  Could be that Rod Bassy is being supported by Big Business, and they certainly won’t cotton to any meddling by a Nature Writer… Maybe this conglomerate is holding Rod Bassy’s family hostage, forcing him to go out and win tournament after tournament through these nefarious means, lest they do certain bodily harm to his precious wife and fair-haired children… Or it could be that Bluegill finally came to his senses and called in the real authorities- the kind that actually care if another human being is abducted and being held against his will…

Oh, Justice be done!!‏

What would we ever do, if in one of these protracted stories, Mark did not prevail?  What would that say about the order of things, the natural laws that we have come to rely upon? That Ice floats… rocks sink, and Thy Trail be Done!!

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I am laughing at Catfish’s reaction- not the usual “What the ___?” but rather “Trail?”  As if he knew in his heart that the gig was up, that Mark was on the trail, and that it was only a matter of time before this whole “Rod Bassy Light up Lure” sham would be brought to an ignominious end!  Good thing Mark ditched his PFD… the kind that inflates upon contact with Water- otherwise he wouldn’t be descending to make sure Catfish meet his fate!

glug, glug…‏

Again, the plausibility of this entire scheme is being called into question…  the logistics alone are daunting- I mean where in the H*ll does Catfish keep these lunker bass?  And when they are hooked onto Rod’s line, do they show any signs of life?  We see only one bass in the second panel- does Catfish have a holding pen off camera?  At least we are seeing some bubbles coming off the respirator…  Clearly I am over-thinking this…

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Don’t you love Mark’s expression in the first panel?  “Uh, OK, if you say so, Rod… but really, I am on to you.”  Does Mark dive in and tackle Catfish, tearing off his mask and breather?  Is it to be fisticuffs in the water? Sort of like when my mother tried to spank me in the tub? OOPS, TMI…  Wait and see!!

It’s only a matter of time now…

Sort of like watching the movie Argo or the Spirit of St Louis…  You KNOW how this is going to end, but the tension still mounts!!  And the thought balloons!  Amazing!  Mark is managing to hold dear his thoughts… his plan of attack!  “Heh, heh… this is a deep spot… better use my LIGHT UP LURE®…” Ol’ Rod thinks he’s so smart.  Little does he know that Mark is on the <ahem> Trail…

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Still I ask, though, whither the bubbles?  A Scuba rig lets off scads of ‘em, and there’s nary a blip… I am picturing Catfish underwater, though, with a net-bag full of bass waiting to find the LIGHT UP LURE®…” This is so preposterous as to be amusing…  Let’s see, it’s only Tuesday.  We should have this wrapped up by Saturday, don’t you think?

Rusty? Rusty who?‏

Like he was “Tracking” him in the first place!  Ha!

Passive Aggressive Mark Trail is really going for the throat with was passes for an accusation of Rod’s involvement in the “Rusty Kidnapping Caper, Bass Tournament” story.  Does Rusty have a last name? As an adoptee, is his full name now Rusty Trail?  If so that’s pretty funny.  They need to find a girl, “Sandy” or perhaps “Mossy.”

“Why you asking me trail?  You know how kids are…”  Well, actually he doesn’t have the slightest notion of “how kids are…”  Pronghorn sheep, the common salamander perhaps, but kids, no.  Mark is as baffled by Rusty as he is by Cherry’s advances…  He can only see Rusty in terms of a smaller version of himself- camera slung around his neck, getting “the story…”

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Oh he’ll turn up all right… the question now is in what shape?  Am I really fearing for Rusty’s well-being?  Apparently I spend too much time on this…

Not to mention the “Bluegill,” turned a shade of steely gray by man’s assault on the environment, is joining the rainbow trout in a fly feasting frenzy, never mind that never in the history of that particular fish has one broken the water’s surface to get a meal…

Difficult to stay a-bed when Trail beckons…‏

“Meanwhile, back at the Bass Tourney… C’mon, let’s go, Trail, we’re burning daylight here!”  Oh, Mark how clever of you- “Didn’t think you would show since I didn’t see your van or your henchman here…” just the kind of obtuse, left-field comment that an experienced Nature Reporter would make when trying to uncover fraud and abuse in the watery realm…

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And who are these nameless, faceless “Tournament Officials?”  I have a visual on them, sitting under a pop-up shelter, finishing off their first case of the day, breaking into their second…  All wearing bright colored arm bands just to make them look official…  You know the phrase- those who can’t do, officiate…

“I sent catfish to run a few errands for me- you know, laundry, dry cleaning, get the oil changed, snuff and chop up Rusty into little pieces… oops, did I just say that??”

Crescendo!‏

Now there’s a plan…  Mark is going to dive off the boat and catch the mouth breather red-handed, or slimy finned, or something like that…  I am so glad they let us in on their scheme, I would hate to have been caught off guard as the Saturday strip ends with Mark going over-board (literally and figuratively…)  But if the concern is truly about Rusty (which it’s not) They could just wait for Bassy and catfish to abandon their van (which apparently has stealth/ cloaking capabilities) and knock on the window- “Rusty, lad, you in there?”  “Muff, muff,  mufff,” the bound boy would reply… The priority here is to catch Bassy doing something wrong (can we even say illegal?  Since I doubt that there are any actual laws being broken here… what, transporting large bass across state lines with the intent to marry them to illegal light up lures?)

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But what hash has Bluegill pulled from the cook-top?  A steaming bowl of orange, nondescript something… mashed sweet potatoes?  Ground catfish?  The mind races!  And have we ever seen Mark cook, other than over an open fire whilst camping?  I suppose that fits with the Tralian Milieu…