Mark Trail has been Sold Down the River!

“What- Ol’ ‘Hud?’ Why, we go WAY BACK…” Apparently a senator is, how shall we say it?  Only as faithful as his options?  Love the name, though. The fist and surnames are interchangeable…  Mason Hudson, Hudson Mason.  I bet he has had trouble with that all his life…

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And what form did your “support” take, Mr. Trail?  Knocking on doors?  Or did you dig deep and cough up the green?

Drilling on Federal Lands is all the rage, now…  gosh it’s almost like that Mormon got himself elected!  Yup, no hope for the middle class, it’s all run by the plutocrats!  More like the political, ruling elite…  I would love to have this story make a strong case for term limits, but I imagine it probably won’t go there…

So. What’s a Right-Hook Between Friends??

Enter the Game Warden, another Ward of the State… Ever notice how the virtuous in the Trailverse are either sponging off the kindness of others (bankrupt magazines, kindly fathers in law) or have their snout planted firmly in the government trough??  And the evil types, the ones beyond redemption, are all out to make a buck, create some wealth?  We might question their motives, but they are out there , trying to rub a couple of sticks together, make a fire, get something going… yet we vilify…

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Retired my ass… this guy looks like he is in his 40’s!  But of course, why wouldn’t he be retired?  Probably has put in his “hard 20” and is entitled to a full pension with medical benefits…  There’s no business that pays that well!  Go into the Service, boy!  They will take care of you as you start a whole new career before many of us consider ourselves to be middle aged…

But enough sour grapes…  Not only are there POACHERS, but good Lord–in–Heaven… SURVEYORS!  Are they public or privately funded?  What are they Surveying?  This is certainly a potentially evil twist to the story, not some throw-away line.  Some Bad Actor is looking to validate the property lines of Lost Forest!  I see a property dispute in the making!

And of course, we all know what a bunch of uncouth, unprofessional, and disrespecting louts SURVEYORS are… of course it is they who are damaging the fence lines…

Not Ol’ Dusty?!?

Readers of Mark Trail (and I am beginning to think that there are about 6 of us…) know that Mark has a hair trigger when it comes to unleashing his Fists of Fury® in the face of imminent danger.  Nice to see that some things haven’t changed, although I was having my doubts, as the last few story lines involved the deft use of a fishing pole, a tackle from behind, and a crab kick…

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What’s really odd here, almost Tarantino-esque, is that we are beginning a story line with what should be the end.  The punch that sends the bad guy packing.  But let’s also examine the evidence- No facial hair, Mark is on a first name basis, and they both enjoy the same shirt/ jacket style… clearly Ol’ Dusty here cannot be an evil-doer…  So what gives??

The guy’s a hell of a shot, I’ll give him that…

Oh dear… Mark has allowed himself to be put into yet another compromising position… but this is nothing new for him, he has a gun pointed at him on a fairly regular basis, it would seem odd to him if it DID NOT happen… Who is that man in the shadow’s though?  He has features that apparently do not reflect light in the normal way, looking all black and everything… Adds to the mystery, though, that’s for sure…

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So now the guessing begins.  Again, there is always money on Rusty’s biological Father.  Will we ever meet him in all his corrupted glory?  And is the man alone?  How exactly does he propose to transport a 1,200 pound Bull Elk over hill and dale, mountain and stream, now that the animal has been shot?  And what does he gain by immediately playing the “false imprisonment/ kidnapping” card?  I have to admit, this story line isn’t wasting any time… In less than 3 days we have gone from supposedly scared elk running roughshod over the fence lines to Mark with a rifle pointed in his back.  Impressive…

I guess Mr. Elk wasn’t scratching his back after all…

It would appear that he was in his death throes, having been struck by a high caliber round… Damn the NRA and our American gun culture (Just kidding…)  But seriously, it’s got to be difficult to come up with new and novel story lines, other than animals being shot when and where and by whom they are not supposed to be… I mean that bit with Rod Bassy really spoiled us… Even though your faithful blogger guessed correctly at the final outcome, it was still excitement at every turn as Rusty sat tied up in the Bassy-Van for days (weeks?) while Mark and bluegill contemplated their next moves over generous portions of orange mashed root vegies… But I wax nostalgic…

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Or could this be another Elk?  How many trophy animals could be within galloping distance from each other at the same time?  This is looking more like the “Fawn-doe-rosa” Petting Zoo on highway 8 near Turtle Creek…

I Thought Krakow was a City in Poland??

So glad that Mark hasn’t moved into the future with a four-wheeler/ quad runner.  That would just spoil everything…  riding the range, literally, is suited to him, as is his tendency to verbalize every thought… Did you hear that Mr Elk?  Why are you so frightened??  And is there a true cause effect relationship here:  Frightened out of forest = Trashing other peoples’ property?

And even though we have seen this plot device over and over again, most recently with “Big Mike’s Gang,” there is still comfort to be had in this familiar plot line…  Quick, Mark.  Ride, fast as you can toward the sound of the rifle shot…  it’s what you do best!

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And what on earth is this bull Elk up to?  Scratching its back with his prodigious rack?  “Ooh, right there… yea, that’s the spot…” I am surprised that his rear leg isn’t moving in bicycle fashion…

That’s One Scared, Freaked-out Elk There, Doc…

Or maybe it’s Elk rising!  Tired of Man’s encroachment on its natural habitat… Don’t think for a minute, Doc, Father of Cherry, whose last name remains a mystery, that your maintaining the Lost Forest “game preserve” gives you any special dispensation as it relates to over-use and spoiling of the natural spaces…  Or maybe it’s “Elk Gone Wild” or “Elk gone Bad…”  Are there any cigarette butts or empty beer bottles lying about?? That’s usually a tip off to a bad element having moved in and created a bad influence on the herd…

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Of course Mark, with nothing but time on his hands (I mean why wouldn’t he pitch in and help with the fence mending?) will be off doing what Alpha/ Lone Wolves do- ride the range and look for trouble around every corner…  While Cherry gets dressed and goes into town to cover a friend’s shift cashiering at the local Wal*Mart…

Had enough… Rusty??

Yup, I have… and so has everyone else, except for Doc, apparently…

But poor Cherry…“That’s great, Rusty! What did you say? All I know is that I am so sick of making the coffee, pouring the coffee, making the coffee, pouring the coffee…”

Lather, Rinse, Repeat…

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That’s a fine pan of hot-cross-buns you made there, Cherry.  Mark gazes expectantly upon them, barely able to contain his salivary response… I guess life doesn’t get better than that!!

And talk about shape shifting…  that close up of Doc makes him seem almost, well, human.  Not the lock-jawed marionette we usually see.

PS… it was pointed out to me that the centerpiece on the table is actually a pizza box!  Witness the uneaten slice of pizza on Mark’s Plate!  And they are drinking coffee with pizza!  What the Hell??

And how exactly would you know that, Mark?

We established in the Wes and Shelley Epic that there is no cell coverage at Lake Rhododendron, in the shadow of Slumber Mountain… Unless you stopped by the “Nearby Ranger Station” while you were out “checking for otter traps…”  I swear, I am not sure that I can believe a word that comes out of his mouth…

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And what of the fish you caught for your shore lunch?  Moldering in the sun by now?  I guess that was a fleeting notion…  l can only hope that this little Rusty interlude is now over, the fishing trip of a lifetime, capped by a bad dream about getting eaten by a T-Rex, so Mark can resume his life of promoting conservation and fighting bad guys (and gals) that would have it the other way!

Thank Goodness??

Uh, perhaps not.  The writers of this strip clearly don’t know who we are rooting for…  It’s sort of like “I root for the Packers and anyone playing the Vikings…”  T-Rex, we hardly knew ye…”

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Notice how Mark’s shirt sleeve is rolled up past the elbow…  That’s not the way it was a week (or is it just a few hours?) ago… He must’ve found SOMETHING!  OH this strip sure knows how to tease a guy…

And please, no more close-ups, OK?

ooooh…. that’s going to leave a mark…

That’s AWESOME!!! Rusty chooses the “flight” option and snags his right (or is it his left?) foot on a tree root and DOWN HE GOES!  Total Face plant!!  Couldn’t even get his hands out in front of himself to cushion the fall.  Not that it matters much considering his proximity to the charging T-Rex.

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And what is it with his right side?  His hand and foot are noticeably smaller in proportion to what they should be, considering even that they are a little closer in than the left side.  Poor Lad.  I guess we have seen this before.  Must have a disability, which means I really shouldn’t be making fun of him anymore…

<insert thoughtful moment here>  

naaaa…. let’s keep up with the fun…

A Mark Trail Triple Play…

And we are back! Our favorite neglected ward Rusty Trail (Adoption Papers, please…) has once again been abandoned, only to be left with his own thoughts and dreams as companions…

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What a lonely twisted place his mind must be!  Is he the Protoceratops?  His drunken abusive biological father the T-Rex??

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The “prehistoric struggle for survival” as shown here is a fanciful notion…  I am sure that there were easier quarry than this ceratops and his full armor display!  One would have to be pretty drunk with rage and anger to go after such a prize and risk a goring!

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I was waiting for Rusty to insert himself!  Oh such issues the boy has to work through!!  Now, Rusty, did you learn anything from that flat screen TV we saw you plopped in front of earlier in the Otter Epic?  That T-Rex has lousy eye-sight, and that unless you move about, he really won’t “see” you?  At least that’s the prevailing theory… Care to test it out?  You can stand there, stock-still and be snatched up like a little morsel, or run away and be picked off properly…

Must… maintain…. interest…

Diplodocus…  the largest of all dinosaurs…  once thought to be a tail-dragger…  not even thought to be warm blooded… but now we know better, thanks to Steven Spielberg and Jack Horner

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Oh Good heavens…  where to go with all this.  Assuming they write this strip with some thought as to where IT is going, I need inspiration, I need a bad guy (or girl) fixed on raping the land or spoiling the great outdoors…  Hell, I would even settle for Kelly Welly to pop up and try to horn in on the action…

What can I say, Rusty?  You don’t give a guy much to work with…

Rusty in the Jurassic…

So little going on here.  So little to say… Have to admit I did not see this one coming, nor, having seen it, am I enthusiastic about the way this story line is “progressing.”  Is Elrod going for a new audience here?  A need to expand the Rusty character beyond the two dimensions of which we are all too familiar- fishing and wasting film (oops, printer ink and photo grade paper since we have since acknowledged the existence of digital photography and memory cards…)

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But wait, maybe I misunderstand the Pterodactyl’s role in current popular culture…  there’s a rap song written and badly animated… warning, this contains some salty language…

Which goes immediately to the question, “just because you can, does it mean you necessarily should?!?

So confused. So terribly confused…

Rhododendron Lake… that’s what Wes and Shelley and Mark and Cherry managed to turn into a scorched earth… right?  That took a plane to get to, right? That required the “local ranger” to make “travel arrangements” in order for everyone to get home…  and this has been the scene all along of where otters were being trapped and poached?  And Mark and rusty can canoe there without breaking a sweat?  Someone draw me a map, OK?

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Oh but perhaps the most compelling aspect of this would-be story arc is NOT the fact that Rusty gets to go fishing, but that Mark lands FIRMLY on the side of Darwin… the Godless heathen!!

And as Mark’s elbow, sort of Señor Wences style, answers for Rusty, “OK, Mark!” Rusty lies in repose wondering whether life can get any better, now that he is complete… but we better hope that Mark doesn’t stray far as the “one line per fisherman” restriction is clearly being violated in panel three…

Yes, This is All Very Interesting…

…but when do we start gutting and frying up the fish?  I am hungry!  Actually, I am just being kind.  Interest and fascination with dinosaurs sort of hit the peak a couple of decades ago… hey, Elrod- the 90’s are calling and they want their plot line back! Ha!!  It’s twenty-freakin’-thirteen, and I think we DO know what killed off the dinosaurs and made way for mammals…  no doubt the next plot “twist” will be the realization that they are linked to present day birds, were warm blooded and may have sported feathers!!

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Love that phrase, “ruled the earth.”  By what means?  Biomass? Weapons of Mass Destruction? Without going all green, it takes a certain amount of hubris to make that claim.  Of course we all know the man and dinosaurs walked the earth together… I mean it says so on the internet… Can you believe there’s actually an organization called the “Institute for Creation Research?”  I may be bored to tears by this story line so far, but I am learning so many things!

oh, the pained look on his face…

…should tell you, Mark, that this isn’t going well…  But clearly you suffer from Social Emotional Agnosia, and therefore can’t begin to read the expression on Rusty’s face (Or Cherry’s for that matter…) and adjust your approach accordingly.  So yeah, Doc beat you to it, Slick.  While you were out doing whatever it is you do, Doc took Rusty to look at some old bones… it was last Sunday, I think…

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“And here’s another thing I learned, Mark, that what we know now as the United States and Canada was actually a number of smaller continents divided by shallow seas… and that we are likely standing on what is referred to as Appalachia…”  So what else you got, Nature Boy?  I mean, Really.  Step it up!

Oh C’mon Rusty…

Really?  Well, I guess you have been somewhat neglected over the years, but this can’t be news to you…

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With Mark pulling out all the stops in an attempt to connect with his step-son, resorting to that which he knows best, assumes the “naturalist crouch” in pointing out a bit of flora… “And so, to prove my hypothesis, ipso facto, (or not,) let me point out something that hasn’t changed an iota in the last 200 million years- witness, the FERN PLANT!”

I know that writing dialogue isn’t easy, but to write dialogue this bad takes a certain amount of skill…

OK… Where is this going…

The Sunday Nature Feature (we will call it the “Neature”) prattled on about new discoveries in the world of dinosaur bones, specifically in Protoceratops family…  are we going to do a little time travel in the Trailverse?  Make a stand for evolution, not creation?

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Note Mr. Pileated Woodpecker in the foreground of panel one.  Apparently the plumage in the drawing is not overstated…

Is it me, or is this already getting boring?

And in Other News…

Hell freezes over…  Which reminds me of this great story

But seriously.  Is this a first?  Rusty actually FISHING?  Surely no greater tonic exists in the Trail-verse for a broken heart caused by having to release your beloved animal friend back into the wild…

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Careful, now, gentlemen.  Canoes are tippy…  in fact, the center of gravity is so high in panel one Mark and Rusty might as well join the circus…  Ever heard of kneeling down?  But then this is a magical moment, why shouldn’t the laws of physics go unheeded?

Yes, let’s skin the and gut the little creatures while they are still gasping their last…  Yummy!