Must be my need to reach for something interesting in light of the plot “twist” that confronts us now in the Trailverse… (Fire?  Really??) But I am reminded of an instance where I was delivered feedback on a presentation that I had made at a client (years ago…) where a certain audience member was skeptical of my message and didn’t believe what I was sharing…  The member of the client team present during their internal meeting to discuss my proposal came back to tell me that Mrs. Skeptical thought it was all “Smokin’ Mirrors…”  I looked at the messenger and asked her did she mean “Smoke and Mirrors?” and she looked at me quizzically not knowing that there was an expression like that or even what it meant…  Ever since I have always gotten a chuckle every time I hear or think of that phrase…

So back to the plot twist…  the third plague of fire has been delivered (the first being the latter day form of locust- Emerald Ash Borer, the second being flood- brought about by beaver) and now Wally’s fate is sealed.  No marriage to Susan, no little Wally’s running through his trees, not a prayer for a happy life.  Mark, I think your work is done here…  go home to Lost Forest before a stampede of Moose befalls them…

With all the woods reduced to charcoal, the EAB will have no habitat, and at least THAT problem is solved…  Oh Wally, Wally, Wally.  Nature must hate you.  Your dreams are literally about to go up in smoke…  Unless the beaver pond has formed a natural firebreak…  and saves your stand of trees from a fiery doom…

Nice to see that Abbey has taken on a time-honored Trail-trait ~ talking aloud to oneself to no one in particular…

Meanwhile, Bambi and the other forest fauna are heading to safety after the poor outdoor manners of Eddie and his friend are defying all logic and reason, starting a conflagration…  we haven’t seen one of those since Ol’ friend Wes and and wife Shelly turned Slumber Mountain into a moonscape…

…you are probably as good a marksman as you are a forester…  which ain’t sayin’ much…  As the Beaver pair looks on through clouded, nearsighted eyes, they can only be saying, “What? This is what we do…  the only thing we know…”  Wally needs to find a little understanding, that generosity of spirit that will allow him to see the bigger picture…   all the wildlife that the beaver pond will attract will keep him in food and fur forever…  or something like that…

…so as Mark Trail thinks about relocation and Wally contemplates Beavercide, to bad I don’t know anything about Justin Bieber, otherwise I could be making bad jokes about that…

Ok, that one was just waiting for me for weeks now and it only just occurred to me… Leave it to Beaver!  Big brother Wally… The Beaver, Eddie Haskel, Lumpy, Beaver’s friends Whitey and Larry Mundello… and Ward and June Cleaver!

Oh, Wally… what’s a couple of trees between you and all of Nature that makes it possible?  You should be marveling at the spectacle, the diligence, the engineering!!  All this pair wants to do is settle down and make some kits… and they need a lodge and a pond to do that…  You should take note and start your own brood…

But wait, Wally, the best is yet to come!  Fire!

Yeah, Abbey…  You go do your Wasp-thing, The waters are rising!  And Wally is taking note of this “something isn’t right here situation…”

This is what I have been waiting for, but honestly it’s sort of an anticlimax…  Maybe because I am on “Team Beaver,” and not “Team Wally…”  I mean really, how can anyone root for a dumb-ass?

There’s fire.  Eddie, you are a poor excuse for a camper- a terrible steward of our natural resources…  To leave Mother scarred by an open fire pit and to leave a fire smoldering to boot!  Obviously you were never a Scout or trained properly and made to recite the Outdoor Code!  But nor is it likely that a tree of such girth would a) collapse so abruptly or b) catch fire so readily…

This does however lay to rest the age old question of whether a tree falling with no one around makes a sound…  clearly it does!!

I have to say, though, that our campers would be much happier if they did not have packs the size of small refrigerators on their backs…

Oh, Wally, does this mean that you are now facing financial ruin by fire?  Good Lord, this guy can’t catch a break, can he??

Good Job, Wally you have settled down enough to allow yourself some level of understanding- now you know that it’s HUMANS that aid in the spread of invasive species like Emerald Ash Borer and Zebra Muscle…

And it appears that James Allen has also grown weary of this part of the story as he abruptly introduces us to yet more cast members!   Sort of reminds me of the movie Grand Canyon, written and directed by Lawrence Kasdan, where we are introduced to 6 people, all living out lives full of challenges, only to have all the various story lines converge in one meaningful, seminal moment…  we can only hope…  But of course our story involves the Trails (limited challenges) Susan and Wally (whose challenges I am loathe to list) the beaver pair (not human, but hey, this IS the Trail-verse…) and these two- Eddie and what’s-his-name, (who are currently throwing in the towel…)

and remember the bugs?  Everywhere?  Interesting…

Note that Mark said, “potentially…” As in this “scheme” could “potentially” save you from financial ruin…  but wait- the EAB is the least of your troubles.  You haven’t yet seen the trees that have actually fallen to help create new beaver habitat…  Maybe your mother was right- you should have become a dentist or an attorney…  But no, your love of all things outdoors… that will be your undoing.

Discussing this story with another Trail-fan off-line (yes, it happens, sad to say…) the question was proffered as to why Abbey Powell’s hair is blonde in the strip when clearly she’s a red-head in real life…  mysteries still have their place in the Trailverse- answers to which may never be known…

How convenient!  Abbey just happens to have the correct biocontrol agent in her stores!  Do they carry badges and guns?  Tiny ones?  Ha!  Get it?  Well, I for one am glad that she didn’t have to go back to the lab and pick up a supply… that would have prolonged this interaction another two or more days…

Better let that thing out fast!  it’s probably running out of air!  How do we know that it has eggs in it?  And didn’t we forget to “quarantine” the area??

…otherwise Wally would have probably flipped out again.  Mark seems to be enjoying the whole back and forth between Wally and Abbey…  And Wally is using his best “I am just a dumb-ass” look and pretending (or hey… maybe not) to not be following this whole thing…  What I am still wondering about, though, is how one “quarantines” an area like this…  What?  Throw a giant net over the entire tree stand?  Hopefully we will soon find out…

I continue to find the story of the Beaver pair more interesting.  Not necessarily enthralling, but at least more interesting than the human side of this story.  Here’s a link to a Nature episode focused on the little rascals…  clearly the best piece of Beaver PR ever developed…

I might just have to furrow my brow and flex my entire upper torso and let the cortisol run free!!  Settle down, Wally.  You are going to put yourself into an early grave the way you react to every little thing that is a surprise!!  Parasitoid…  Well, that’s just a fancy, college-level word for a species that lives off another species- sort light fighting fire with fire I suppose…  or not…  also known as a bio-control agent, and it appears that there are many natural enemies of the EAB (that’s Emerald Ash Borer…)

Oh, and as previously mentioned, Abbey Powell is a real person…  here’s her picture…

Sorry, campers!  Had to go away for a few days!!  Travel should be over for a while now…  While I was gone I did pick up a comment that pointed out to me that Abbey Powell is also real!  Right along with the other USDA stuff!!  So, with Wally Wood sporting his lobotomy scar, he tells Abbey that  he has “several acres of trees.”

Don’t you mean several hundred acres, Wally? I mean, c’mon… have you never heard of scale??  There’s not a fortune hiding in a measly several acres… to me that means about 4 or 5…

Yes how could you possible know, Abbey, that this is the “Northern Tip” of Wally’s expansive (not) property? Maybe because the sun rises in the east and sets in the west and right now the sun is still rising??  At which point Wally reveals that his lobotomy scar has shifted to the other side of his head!  Bugs may be scary and all, but I don’t like the way that looks!!

Purple Traps?!? Mark finds that intriguing!  Slumber Mountain??  We’ve been here before!  Remember, dear readers, this is where Wes crashed his plane and set him and Mark on a perilous journey back to Cherry and Shelley (with two e’s)

And in case the rest of you were wondering (I am sure…) whether Abbey passed her orienteering test, I had to draw out what she was describing…

  Yes!  The bugs are heading south in the general direction of Wally’s Woods!  From the south side of Slumber Mountain where the USDA set Purple Traps…  Oh my… can’t you just feel the tension??

So, while Wally prepares to paint the forest floor with his vomitus, (no wonder mark refused pancakes this morning!) Abbey Powell from the USDA will save the day!  And down-range our intrepid beaver pair is oblivious to the human drama unfolding nearby.  Lucky them!!

Meet the face of the USDA.  I of course underestimated the reach and resources of and available from the Federal Government… And in case my small and devoted readership hasn’t figured this out by now, I find these revelations troubling…  are we all going be on a government payroll at some point?  Whatever happened to the phrase, “Just because we can, does that mean we should??”  While I am sure that we all benefit from a Farm Bill that has grown to such massive proportions, at what point does this just become too much??

…and yes, the website is for real…  hungrypests.com… brought to you by the Animal Plant Health Inspection Service of the United States Department of Agriculture.  I don’t even know what to say about that.

Here’s the “mascot” I suppose… creepy enough?  And just like Abbey (with an “e”) declared, April IS ‘Invasive Plant Pest and Disease Awareness Month…’  If you click on the video- you will find that Mr. Pest has a British accent… sort of like Jihad John…

And how the USDA is tracking movement of 15 “hungry Pests…”

So happy to learn that the Wally Woods of the world can benefit from our deficit spending practices…  So keep up the good work, USDA, and make sure you thank James Allen, whose tech savvy and web awareness is opening the Trailverse onto new and exciting vistas!!

Yup, back at Lost Forest where the coffee’s always on!  And even the wildlife is getting into the act.  Oh, wait, that’s Mark talking…  No pancakes, sweetheart, I have to watch my waistline.  Even those of us that don’t age have to work at it…

So… not sure what fun YOU have planned for the day, but I need to go spend valuable, un-billable time with my friend Wally Wood!  Sure hope Doc has some clients… not sure what we live on around here… Say did that check from Woods and Wildlife ever show up?  Oh, that’s right, I haven’t written anything in quite a while… funny how I don’t get paid for getting 80-foot sailboats blown up and spoiling business deals…

Good Heavens!  It took the Creator 6 days plus one to do His work… Are we suggesting that two beavers, pulling an all-nighter can block a stream and build a lodge?

…and judging by the lighting, it’s only dawn.  Note the nice little spill-way on our right/ their left side of the dam!  how clever.  Hold enough water back but not all of it so that the water pressure doesn’t build and take out the entire structure.  And assuming that they spent all night taking down Wally’s trees and flooding his forest, the stage is now set for the man-beaver smack-down.  Let’s hope Wally doesn’t own a gun…

Predators can now only watch in vain as their would-be meals are safe in their own little world!

The beaver is an amazing creature.  Built to do one thing- chew through wood, drop trees and block up streams.  Create their own habitat.  Is there another animal that does likewise?  Other than man?  Which is why man and beaver continue to compete over territory.

And there are those in the species homo sapiens who are big fans and actively work to relocate Beaver where their natural gifts and instincts can help restore water tables and ecosystems… So it will be interesting to see what side our story teller takes here…

Beaver- Asset or Liability??

Running water??  Trees??  Perfect!!  What more could the two young beavers possible want?  We have to assume that these are the same trees that represent Wally’s bid for economic legitimacy…  and now it won’t just be beetles, it will be beavers, too!  Oh, this will be epic!  Wally’s going to have another melt-down…

So get on with the gnawing, you two!  Conflict is what makes a story line interesting, and this pot has been simmering long enough!

Mark.  Seriously.  Get off this kick that the USDA will “take care of Wally’s beetle problem…”  What? with a massive tree-crop-failure subsidy?  Or maybe it’s the Georgia State Dept of Agriculture…  who knows… regardless, or irregardless as is popular to say nowadays, Wally better gird himself for the worst and start protecting his stand…

So off Mark and Cherry go, in their open-topped Jeep Wrangler, and neither of them a hair out of place…  and what’s with all the insects flying about?  I know that every Mart Trail strip has to have a nod to nature, but this seems a bit contrived.  Unless, of course, they are the third leg of this stool, the real demons in this story line… Not Man, not Beaver, but Beetle!

So good that Mark and cherry are getting the straight dope on Wally and Susan’s intentions vis-a-vis impending nuptials.  So like a “happily married” couple- always wanting to draw in more unsuspecting singles…  “C’mon in guys, water’s fine… oh, never mind the swirling eddies and the protruding dorsal fins…”

Wait a gosh-darned minute here… Mark and Cherry were carrying at least overnight bags in a previous installment as they were heading out for their visit and making their way to the car…  And even Mark’s language is curious- nothing new here, of course… but “Cherry and I are going home for the evening” implies what?  That they are then going someplace else the following day?  Or maybe they had made a hugely wrong assumption that Wally and Susan were putting them up for the night… which is consistent with their default thinking that the world owes them a bed…  I’m so confused.

Wally, Wally, Wally.  This is your business!  Do you know nothing?  Are you content to stand there beaten before the bell for Round 1 even rings?  Satisfied to throw in with Mark Trail and his “people?”  Funny how much, in panel 3,  Wally looks like Chris “Dirty” Dyer from the African Odyssey…

… or it is the Emerald Ash Borer…  Wally, you are screwed.  Your Life’s work up in flames, or down in beetle dust…

Can’t decide whether the story of the intrepid beaver pair or the man against nature story line is more compelling… but on the advice of faithful reader Bill Schulz, to keep an eye out for beaver whilst away on vacation, it’s funny how easy that was…

First stop at the Royal Ontario Museum, (or ROM,) we came face to face with Castor Canadensis, The America Beaver!  Imagine the excitement!  Or not…

But then imagine my surprise when yet another Beaver made his way into the financial press of the local market…  While two points define a straight line but not necessarily a trend, I was starting to wonder about the prevalence of Beaver at the core of the Canadian culture…

But then it got downright strange as we were making our way to the Distillery District and the St. Lawrence Market, and stumbled upon this little fellow attached to a Transit Shelter, bidding creative Canadians to have a hand in designing their currency…  The Beaver Theme continues!!

On to the CN Tower for lunch!  Rising 1,815 ft., 5 inches into the Canadian Sky, the tower boasts views in every direction, out over Lake Ontario, north into the Canadian outback…  and straight down via glass floors.  To coax the reluctant, which includes your’s truly, posters were hung showing how many of different species could be supported by the “glass” used in the floor…  and to our surprise, there was the Beaver again… this time proclaiming that over 1,000 Beavers could be held up by the see-through floor…

Here’s a shot of the “glass floor…”

and two brave travelers making their way onto it…

And finally a trip to Casa Loma, a mansion built by the early 20th Century financier Sir Henry Pellatt and his wife Lady Mary Pellatt.  Below is a picture of Sir Pellatt’s top hat, no doubt fashioned from a beaver hide…  So maybe a bit of a stretch, but I believe now the Beaver Circle is complete and unbroken… 

Whether by providence or suggestion, reader Schulz knew more than maybe he was letting on…