C’mon now…  Let’s get to the freighter already!  Who cares about the Spam-colored eel?

………

All “dialed in,” as it were with his special suit full of “gauges…”  Ever type or write a word that never looks right?  “Gauge” is one of those words.  Who on earth or Heaven thought it would be smart to throw a ‘u’ in the middle?

  without the ‘u’ there is a meaning, but who has ever used that??

Mark has gone silent on Ken… tired of his “chatter…” making eyes at “That Old Sea Plane” like it brings back a great memory.

And how exactly did you install the software, Ken?  You must have done it before you headed out to sea and used the wifi at home… or it came loaded on a thumb drive and Mark has a Microsoft Surface (with a USB port) and not an iPad (which does not…) But still, the ability to pick up a signal through fathoms of seawater is impressive…  oh, OK, let’s go with it.

I thought Mark’s special suit, the one the Leslie Joyce sent him, has all manner of dials and gauges…  but this is probably better…  keeps Mississippi Ken in the loop as to what is going on “down there…”  Oh, Mark, you are in danger, or soon will be…  you know that don’t you??

Highly irregular…  Mark, you are still a photojournalist, aren’t you??

As Mark steels himself against danger, he is emboldened by the layer of protection afforded him by one Leslie Joyce, who apparently is still mad but not so mad that she wouldn’t scare up a very expensive dive suit…

Oh, Ken…  Always the wag…  Commando Cody?  I suppose- As he was , in 1955, the Sky Marshal of the Universe, complete with Rocket Suit…  Well done!  Learn something new every day…

Of course I’m thinking Mark looks more like Ralphie’s little brother Randy from A Christmas Story, where “getting dressed to go to school is like preparing for an extended deep sea dive…”  Mark looks like a tick ready to pop!

Sorry, that’s a tired phrase, by now a classic meme, but there ought to be royalties attached to whenever it’s used…  I’ve got a bad feeling about this…

I wonder if that idea from Tom Smykowski in the movie Office Space ever took off… The Jump to Conclusions Mat…

I think this is where that big boat that is prowling the gulf comes in…  in broad daylight, there should be no issues with it getting the drop on our hero…

Before he calls in the Feds, he wants to BE SURE that what he saw is truly radioactive… But, assuming that it is, what fun will it be to just turn the entire story over to the authorities?  Where did Mark Trail, Vigilante go?

I am looking for a reprise of the James Bond Epic Thunderball… and the underwater fight scenes…  Now when you think about it, what’s possibly sillier than that??  A bunch of humans in an environment that favors none of them, no high ground to take, just a series of cut air hoses and masks being ripped off faces sending people to the surface…  of course the bad guys are all dressed in in black and the good guys in orange…

What in God’s name is that???

It would seem that the radioactivity has already taken its toll on the wildlife.  I have no idea what that creature is…  Hang tight kids, Mark is going back down…

Keeping a sharp and wary eye out for one-of-a-kind treasures, he pounces on the animal skull…  “What are you going to do with that?” asks Kelly…  Then just to piss her off, he mounts the skull on the hood of his car, the car she doesn’t quite understand in the first place…  So much about your man that you need to know, Kelly…

But Mark, the notion of hunting is relative… whether hunting to bring down an animal or hunting for a bargain, it’s the same thrill…  I think it is, but then we’d have to ask the dentist from Eden Prairie, MN…

Hours together in the car, back and forth across two state lines, and Mark is NOW only wondering about that Gazelle (Sorry, thought it was an impala) skull mounted on the hood?

Anything to pass the time, I suppose, and with the look on Mark’s face, you can tell he’s in the mood for a story…  C’mon, now, Ken… don’t disappoint…

What on earth did you talk about in the time it took you to traverse the Florida Panhandle, that little nub of Alabama and into Mississippi?  And while it’s difficult to show motion in a still comic, it literally looks like the Ken-Mobile is standing stock-still… unless you look at the wheels, but those could be Latrell Spreewell spinners, right??

And it just occurred to me that every Mark Trail strip has to have a form of wildlife in it- in this case it’s dead!  And skinned and boiled and mounted to the hood of an Eldorado.  That’s awesome!!

So I guess here’s what’s “unusual…” a guy has a package delivered to a dive shop- contents: one “Nuclear Dive Suit.”  Does that even exist??  Looks like there’s an entire career path  built around it, although the point of a “nuclear dive suit” is more to keep the diver cool whilst diving in 100-degree water than offering protection from radiation…  interesting work, though, performing maintenance on nuclear reactors… who knew??   Bet they have trouble buying life insurance…

Yup… he’s a baddie.  No facial hair, but that look says it all…  who could be on the other end of that line I wonder…  And I wonder what he found “unusual?”  Was it the 1974 caddie with the skull hood ornament?

Well, we needed to tie in the evil elements here, otherwise we’d be scuba diving in relative peace!  And we can’t have that!!

Sorry about the black-and-white image this morning… all my normal sites seem to not have it up yet…  a minor conspiracy??

What’s the phrase?  “Hire for the Smile?”  Apparently the owner of this dive shop never heard of that… the guy working the counter looks like he’d be more at home checking in towed vehicles at the impound lot…  What a menacing face!  Might be a brother-in-law out on parole who couldn’t find work anywhere else…

And yes, I would imagine that many of the things that pass through Deep End Dive Shop’s inventory are”heavy” in order that the diver be able to reach desired depths…

…”a little research out in the Gulf!”  Atta boy, Mark, way to keep things on the down-low…  No need to alarm the local population that there is a seething cargo of Cobalt-60 poisoning the ocean and all that live in it…

The scowl…  the clenched right fist…  he is ready to spring into action…  already he senses that there is something not quite right with this dive shop.  Let’s see, only one in town, validated and endorsed by Mississippi Ken, where a package awaits him… yup, something’s not quite right here…  right?  What?  Oh I don’t know…

Definitely a Cadillac… Eldorado convertible.  Nice.  Probably got all of 7 or 8 MPG on the way over…  but no matter, it would appear that MK is flush!

What in Heaven’s name is that thing?  Modified 1974 Cadillac Eldorado?  With a scoop and a European Skull Mount of a what… Impala on the hood?  Not very subtle, Ken, but then there are probably many sides to this dude… and we have only just become acquainted…

Bay Saint Louis, huh? OK,  I’ll bite…  Here it is.  They will have to pass through Mobile, Alabama before they get to Mississippi… Hey… maybe that’s where Ken got his nickname…  maybe this will be a homecoming for him…  Ken “knows right where that is” so yes mark, you’d better “hang on!!”

…when he realizes that he doesn’t have the biggest boat in the Gulf…  Holy Crap!  That’s what I call a yacht!!  Hard to image a life where one commits to such a thing, along with the crew that it takes to operate and maintain it!  Well, dear, if you have to ask the price, then you probably can’t afford it…

So as 100+ feet of waterline slowly makes way, we are left to wonder what the connection is…  or does James Allen just like to draw boats?

You call in the Feds over a beetle infestation… but that doesn’t  even cross your mind when it comes to your discovery of potentially radioactive material??  In what appears to be an attempt to smuggle??  Knowing that there was a heist that left the location of said material a mystery??  (Note to those who have an unnatural desire to learn about what inspires James Allen and contributes to his story lines…  check this out…  in his own words.)

Always a cause- always something bigger than himself to provide cover for any past transgressions and Spackle over hurt feelings and resentment…  The Mark of a true sociopath… With Lesley now looking all virtuous and noble, she is putty in your hands, Mark, putty in your hands…

…something to do with this Lesley woman and her car… oh the mind races, (or not…)  But it’s clear that whatever Mark did, she has kept that hurt in a mason jar and maintained its rankness…  to pull off the shelf and open up and take a whiff at opportune moments like this…

So if she is a college professor, she is a lovelorn and resentful college professor.  But of course Mark needs something, so he’s back…  to rend hearts and leave a Trail of destruction in his wake…

Oh where do I start…  Two nights on the road and there’s real drama going down…  Doc is on the case, working his people for free advice, and Mark is passing that information on, leaving Ken wishing he had actually paid attention in High School Biology…

Wagging your finger at Mississippi Ken?  Really?  That deserves a smack.  Seriously.

But wait, kids… Wait!  We are about to meet a part of Mark’s past!!  Leslie Joyce!

Oh, snap!! Mark’s past catches up with him!!  But Leslie, Seriously. You have symmetry issues!  Your eyes are going every which-a-way… and your demeanor is, well, slightly shrewish…

Love it, though… A “friend” of mine is a Professor at “a University…”  She “may” have some advice… God in Heaven, how dismissive and condescending can you be, Mark Trail, Prince of Lost Forest, one who doesn’t know what it means to put a meal on the table!

Apparently Leslie is less than thrilled by the sound of your voice… but of course you would not have see that coming, since you are incapable of feeling other people’s pain…

Ken, you are grasping here.  “Gag Novelty Items” with the radioactive symbol on them?  I don’t think Spencer Gifts ever went that far…  Besides it appears that Spencer’s has balanced out their inventory and are now specializing in “adult fun” items…  Like I said Mark, you should have brought your camera!  Doh!

That’s right Mark.  A test.  Didn’t you and Ken drag the shark carcass back in order to perform “tests?”  Heaven knows what that might look like…  But Blondie, I mean Barbie, I mean Kelly is right!

But Geese?  Do they hang out in Florida?  Why not?  Looks like the Cackling Goose…  with a bit of extra green thrown in.