Keep it down, Bubba!

Now, now, Mark. It’s late. Just have a glass of warm milk and go to sleep. If you start getting too cranky at this time of night, you might accidentally activate Big Mouth Bill-E Bass on the wall, behind Cliff. You know what that means:  The fish will swing its head back-and-forth as if it had a real neck and sing terrible novelty songs for 30 minutes. Then everybody in the lodge will wake up and get pissed at you. You’ll wind up outside, preaching to that young buck.

Really, Mark, use some imagination. Until the Ottoman conquest of Constantinople in 1453, the Byzantine capital city kept a large chain across the Golden Horn to prevent foreign ships from sailing up-river to attack the city. This could give the De-Bait Team something useful to do again:  not to protect America so much as to protect Lost Forest! You might even charge tolls for big ships to enter the waterways.

So, Mark, what if that ship did not intend to be there in the first place? What if it was just a navigational error? Did you even bother to ask them?