…Mr. Trail.  Right about now I am giving Carina a nice, sultry Russian Accent, like in a Bond film of yor…  Check out a great list Russian Characters here… I don’t remember Kseniya Onatopp (#6,) but that’s a great name!  

Faith, you say, Trail?  Who is Faith?  You have someone we don’t know about?  You already have a Cherry on the top, and now you admit to having Faith on the side??  Hmmm…  Or more like it the faith that comes from the knowledge that world revolves around you and only you…

Poor Gabe… he stands off camera, heaving and wheezing and watching his female assistant, the object of his own inappropriate fantasies, and his would-be, one-time friend engage in verbal foreplay…  better hit the StairMaster, buddy, or you’ll spend your life curled up with your thoughts…

…I don’t know what? in Carina… She has been utterly transformed- from science nerd/lackey to Cave-Vixen…  Watch out Mark, you know you aren’t very good at non-verbals- you know, reading people??  You are sort of a literal chap, and as Carina tilts her head to the side and compliments you on your, um, skills, she’s circling you like a predator sizing prey… and baiting you, in the last panel, to know whether you are a vain and insecure sort, needing to rise and take the bait!  …even after Mark exhibits his typical modesty (“I do a bit of…”)   But this remains the greatest plot twist so far- not getting shot at and blown up, but watching Carina go from “handsome” to “hot…”  But then I’m a guy, and I’m probably in the Target Market to which James Allen is looking to appeal.

Anyway… so yes, after a bit of gratuitous mountain climbing within a cave system, and for that matter how much of anything in this strip isn’t gratuitous, we are continuing to wonder where this is all going.  It all started with the desire to create a public service information piece on White Nose Syndrome in bats, and so far we haven’t seen a single damn one of them…  so what’s up with that?…

Well, at least it gives them the hope that they are closer to the surface of the earth’s crust…  Me, I’d be freaking right about now.  I am just looking at this… remember heights?, enclosed spaces?  Some adventurer I’d make…

Sorely disappointed that Mark didn’t leave his shirt behind, or at least take it off and tie it around his waste…  you’d think he’d use any excuse for that…  but oh well, probably didn’t want to make Gabe feel self-conscious…  especially as he brings up rear.

Funny how every now and then, like in the third panel, it just doesn’t look like Mark.  We are familiar with his son Rusty, the Shape-shifter, but not Mark… right??

“Hand me that pick, please…” So polite, Mark.  and assuming.  Giving the foreshadowing of his free climb escapade at the beginning of this sequence, he will no doubt doff  his shirt and get busy… Since being taken over by James Allen, Mark has become a bit cheesecake- or beefsteak, or what ever you’d like to call a 32 year old man with a BMI in the mid twenties…  sort of the Channing Tatum of the Comic Strip set…

And as Carina continues to show her “best sides” Gabe realizes he’d better hit the salad bar from now on, that is if he wants to compete for best body image in the desert…

As Carina continues to slink and slither in the most alluring of fashions, and Gabe slides around on his but, it is revealed that the cave is aglow in bioluminescence…  but in caves?  Sure!  Why not??  Now that we have that sorted, we can stop wondering (or at least I can) what the deal is with the total lack of darkness…

So while it looks as though Mark has hit his head and Carina is auditioning for a spread in Maxim, we are once again left to wonder… where is all this going?  Is Jose satisfied that he has neutralized the threat to his new, lucrative livelihood?  Will Mark and Company continue to go deeper and deeper into the cave without any idea whether they are helping their cause?  Will Mark pull out still more cave-trivia that might give them all some hope?  Will Gabe add any value at all since he is the one that has been the “Ol’ Cave Crawler” for years??

…she slinks, she slithers on her belly like a snake… is it me, or is the fact that they are trapped in a cave with no apparent way out making Carina look a bit more comely?  With the unexplained (so far, at least) natural “light” bathing them as they move forward/ backward toward heaven knows where…

Glad you had the presence of mind, Gabe, to grab an equipment bag…  so why don’t you break it out and see what we have to work with here?

Meanwhile Mark can’t help laying down a mental tidbit… a survival tip for those on the brink of starvation, which by the look of Gabe’s midsection, could be weeks away…  that Cave Crickets are a source of protein…  and yes they are also known as “Land Shrimp” “Sprickets,” and “Criders.”  Whatever you call them, I’d have to be Hugh Glass hungry before partaking of that feast…

Little do they realize, but they are all actually dead and embarking on their next great journey…

The other end?   Whatchoo talkin’ ’bout, Trail??  Is there always another end?  Or could you all be heading deeper and deeper into the earth’s crust… with little to guide you but your wits??  Well, keep following the light… funny how there has been -0-, zip, nada, nil, zilch in the way of bat activity…

Gabe!  Mark gives you one thing to do… ONE thing!  Make the call to the Police!  And you aren’t sure you did?  I mean, what were you doing while under a hail of gunfire and explosions?  The signal was weak?  Breaking up?  Why didn’t you spend your grant money on a decent satellite phone??

Carina, Carina… that sounds like a song…  Don’t lose faith, you are with the Trail, girl.  This will work out, that is if James Allen wants to keep getting a paycheck…

Or has Carina chosen a particularly appropriate lip color for this occasion?  Sort of goth, sort of vamp…  “Rotten Ox-blood?”

Oh, cheer up Gabe… don’t be a sore loser…  have you learned nothing from the Super Bowl this year??  That you have devoted you life to caves and now you are swallowed up by one and will probably die a slow, painful death?  What on earth is there to be sad about??  The Sun’ll come up and you won’t see it?  Just remember there’s always tomorrow.  Literally.  Stay tuned, boys and girls…

As the light grows more intense inside the sealed off cave, I guess I just have to shake my head.  I suppose it’s more interesting than staring into blackness punctuated by dialogue…

Looks like Carina found a hidey-hole…  and as she emerges she thanks “heaven” for the fact that Mark and Gabe are “OK…” Do people use that phrase with purpose, or is it said with reflex?  I wonder every time I hear it…  Of course, we don’t hear, “Thank heaven some asshole emptied a clip on us and threw seven sticks of dynamite into the cave entrance effectively sealing us inside…”  I guess it follows the tried and true “things could always be worse” school of managing through adversity.

Love the 3-D effect in panel two- Carina’s arm is reaching forward seemingly out of the frame- making it look impossibly large and muscular…  At least it draws attention from her “handsome” features…

I will only mention this one more time…  And, yes, I know exactly what I am doing here… if the cave mouth has collapsed, then from whence is the light emanating- the light that causes Mark to appear in silhouette?

Toast, Ladies and Gentlemen, Toast.  That’s what they are, unless of course there’s a back door to this thing?  Perhaps they did already have some gear in the cave?  We can only hope…  The bats will probably lead the way- if their main point of access and egress is blocked, then nature will have them find another one… in the words of Ian Malcolm,  “Life, uh…Finds a way.”

For what has become an unofficial National Holiday event, the gravity of which might even cause a faithful Downton Fan to forego a typical, restful, anticipatory Work-week’s eve, Mark is having his arse and eardrums blown off/out by the combined explosive power of a 7-stick dynamite bundle…

But let us flash forward… I assume that the blast will seal shut the cave entrance, leaving all natural light blocked, meaning they should be in pitch black… which means any reference to our hero should be a black panel with a white speech or thought balloon…

And let us not forget the foreshadowing provided by Gabe only a week or so ago… remember he was promising some excitement once the sun went down??  I’m guessing he did not anticipate this kind of excitement…

…if in real life onomatopoeia was a real thing… if you threw a stone in a pond, the word “splash” showed up above the ripples?  The word “Screeeech” followed in a trail behind a car locking up its brakes in an attempt to not rear-end the car in front of it… well, here we have “KABLAM” to consider!

According to wiki, each stick produces 1 MJ (assume mega-joule) of energy, so what we are witnessing is a 7 MJ blast…

Not sure how many sticks were spent in the making of this clip, but it would seem that our fascination with explosives goes way back… and the making of the American West would have been impossible without it…

And I also wonder what risk I am putting myself in googling dynamite and explosion…  I will probably have the authorities knocking on my door wondering what I’m up to…

Older TNT, weeping nitroglycerin, would never stand up to such treatment as to be thrown and bounced along a cave floor…  but such are the resources of the coyote clan. Looks like he’s got more where that came from judging from the bulge in his man-bag…  or is that a “murse??”

Once again, Mark at the helm, recognizing in an instant (not even the classic pause and a “Wht th—?”) he has everyone scatter- away from the 7-stick bundle- enough explosive force to bring down a mountainside let alone close up a cave mouth…

But as sad as it might be for our hero and his friends, I was alerted to the passing of Jack Elrod, who passed the torch to James Allen, after a lifetime spent well in the name of conservation and comic strip adventure writing and drawing.  Once teamed with Ed Dodd starting in 1950, he kept the torch lit from 1978 -2014.  Here’s to you, Jack.  To a life well lived!

Jack Elrod 1925-2016

Like cream that rises to the top, Mark is in Alpha Mode once the chips are down…  but at the same time hoping Ol’ Gabe has a sat phone on his hip… otherwise I doubt whether there’s a tower within range.  But he’s agreeable enough- “OKAY, Mark, I’ll try!” he says…  Carina will be fine without her glasses- they were just a cheap pair of “attitude” glasses from the Dollar Store that she wore to make her look smart.  It’s hard being a woman in a man’s world.   Without them, her features have softened and she has become a more sympathetic character in the James Allen Trailverse…

What I don’t understand is why they feel like the cave is so “safe…”  Like they are 12-year-olds playing a backyard game of “Jailbreak” and they are safely in their own “base…”  The reality is that they are now cornered and trapped with a heavily armed bad guy outside what appears to be the only exit- the way they came in, and they aren’t even aware of the other bit of fun that’s in store…

And in related news, here’s piece written in support of one’s right to keep and bear dynamite… seems to be one of our bedrock principles as a nation…

…why do people feel compelled to start their sentences that way?? Annoying.  Didn’t see the TNT coming.  OK.  Now the strip will begin to play on my fear of enclosed spaces…  Oh boy…  first heights, now this.

No sé quién es ustedes…  But no matter, I have neither heart nor compunction about doing anything in this world.  I have no fear that this will come back on me… I will sleep well tonight knowing that there is no one who will be able to bear witness to my crimes…

Someone must have really messed with Jose at some point n his life.  Sort of like the Bad-ass Cousins in Breaking bad- when Tio started drowning the one to teach the other una lección…

So, (there’s that again…) with Mark and Company about to be sealed in for life, entombed for all time, we are left to wonder how the Hell they get out of this one!?!

Thanks?  That’s what you have to say for yourself, Mark?  Ye of bad fortune and karma… One who brings trouble with him in bushel baskets…

But let’s think about this, Gabe.  This is only slightly better than running around in the open.  Now you are in el Cueve del Muerte, The Cave of the Dead, with an assassin lurking around near the opening- how convenient- you all can be shot down, and stuffed in the cave where over time your bones will be mistaken for ceremonial offerings from your forebears.  Other that modern day accouterments that can be traced to the men’s clothing section of the LL Bean catalogue, no one would be any the wiser…

Funny- spell check likes the word ‘catalog’ better, but ‘catalogue’ is acceptable…  huh- I always throw the ‘ue’ on the end, just like Dan Quayle wanted to throw an ‘e’ on the end of ‘Potato…’

Is that like the bottomless pasta bowl at Olive Garden?  Endless Salad and Bread sticks followed by copious amounts of Tiramisu?  One thing this story line has revealed to me is how much YouTube time is spent burning through Ammo!  But it also shows me that a single clip, even a high capacity one, only lasts a number of seconds… and unless Jose has an ox-cart full of spare clips and extra rounds, he’ll run out at some point… What that video clip also shows is that the AK is not a sharpshooter’s weapon of choice, as the seemingly experienced shooter is only landing on his target about 3% of the time…

So as Mark and his new Posse high-tail it into the cave, we are left to wonder how they are (seemingly so far) avoiding injury.  Carina seems to be the fast one, followed by Gabe’s fat arse (sort of like a fullback blocking for the star running back…) with Mark taking up the slack, pushing them into the cave.  Note the clenched fist in panel one- clearly a reflex reaction to danger, stemming from the amygdala, which triggers a neural response in the hypothalamus. The initial reaction is followed by activation of the pituitary gland and secretion of the hormone ACTH.  The adrenal gland is activated almost simultaneously and releases the neurotransmitter epinephrine. The release of chemical messengers results in the production of the hormone cortisol, which increases blood pressure, blood sugar, and suppresses the immune system.  The ‘fight or flight’ response.  I’d flee too if I were them… Thanks Wiki… I have recently taken to supporting the Wikimedia Foundation, given the fact that I refer to its offerings on a daily basis…

So… what?  Jose disables their ride and is going to what? Take them hostage?  That’s inconvenient.  And I forgot that Gabe had named his jeep… Diablo?  As in Diablo Cody, former stripper and screenwriter of Juno fame?

And I’m sorry… an AK-47 fired does not produce a flame… this love affair with automatic weapons fire and the inaccurate portrayal of same is becoming tiresome…

But there’s always the opportunity to learn… see the note below from Faithful Reader Dan:

Almost all weapons fired at night will show flame coming out of the barrel as the explosion caused by the gunpowder needs some place to go. Here is a video of an AK-47 fired at night —https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDzKyJZFUmM

Thanks, Dan!

I will probably live my entire life and never know what it’s like to be in the sights of another’s gun…  For Mark Trail, this happens every time he leaves Lost Forest, and there have been times he hasn’t even left home!!  Is this a pitch for “no gun, no fun,” or a long running screed on the virtues of gun control?  Tell you what, Mark, I’d get your carry permit before you head out on another “adventure…”  The fact that you remain a soft target prone to walking into harm’s way, you’d better figure out how to protect yourself… and the people unlucky enough to have invited you to their party…

…and why do I have the Instant Classic “Pumped Up Kicks” by Foster the People running through my head??  “You better run, better run, outrun my gun…”

Yyeaaah… they “spotted” you, Jose- 300 yards away, and in the dark- clearly they could ID you with no problem… Looks like you’re just looking for an excuse to shoot someone…

So hopefully Gabe knows what it means to actually get way from a threat…  thinking about how Mark missed his chance to power-boat his way out of the danger zone in a recent story line, it’s a good thing that Gabe is going to be piloting their ride.