With various forms of wildlife enjoying cameo roles (hearkening back to the Trailverse of old) we see the long-shot approach and the eager anticipation that is meant to create a modicum of expectation for this story.

With the island not shaking anymore, and Abbey back on her feet with her glasses on, Mark makes his grand entrance (with Cal’s help, of course…)

I will say it again- what’s missing in all this is the bad guy (or gal) that threatens to lay waste to fragile ecosystems, to poach rapaciously the innocent fauna that might be hanging by a thread.  While I should probably care about invasive species and man’s role in spreading them around, there’s no story line in it.  At least not for me.  Bring back Big Mike, or the corrupt Senator’s aid, or Dirty Dyer the Rhino Horn trafficker,  or that skinny milquetoast who wanted to mine titanium oxide from the Great Dismal Swamp…    anything… please…

OK, kids,  we’ve seen this before…  Abbey Powell taking a bad step, and a random earthquake RRRUUUUMMMMMBBBBBLLLLLEEEE…  at least this is more plausible here than in the cave story.  Appears that Earthquakes are a daily thing in Hawaii, although registering only 1.0 – 2.0  on the Richter scale…

Abbey Powell needs to have a word with James Allen.  If he going to feature her (a real person with a life, presumably with ambitions,) she can’t allow him to continue to portray her as a stumbling oaf…  Hey, I mean, I have daughter, probably about Abbey’s age, trying to make her way in the world of science, and this kind of portrayal helps no one…

So pick yourself up and dust yourself off, Abbey… blow the coral dust out of your nose and pretend this never happened, right??

According to TC, I mean Cal, this is an unstable volcanic formation… shows what Abbey might know… or the Narrator for that matter.  And Abbey, to whom exactly are you speaking?  The Horseshoe Crab in the foreground?  But it’s comforting in its own way to have her talking aloud to herself, in time-honored Mark Trail fashion…

So as Abbey waits patiently for Mark to arrive, apparently leaving the details to take care of themselves, (Today?  Does that mean morning, afternoon, or evening? Did Abbey stay there guarding the island in the meantime?) we are left to wonder how she made a positive ID on the type of ant they are dealing with… and whether, ultimately, this is going to call for the inestimable resources of the USDA to mount an offensive against it…

And by “scour the island” you mean what?  Oh, OK, probably just what it sounds like…  in my search for meaning and inspiration I will grab at any possible double-entendre that might appear…

Or the shark to bite.  Something.  Some mornings I am immediately struck by what I want to comment on, but other mornings it’s a struggle…

As we wait to get to the island, we are left to pull out the Ol’ Tedium-Meter® … last seen in the Bio-Luminescent cave system…

…like the EAB (Emerald Ash Borer) this little terror (the Coconut Rhinoceros Beetle) has wreaked havoc on the Hawaiian ecosystem by threatening a necessary and iconic feature- coconut and date palm trees…

Ugly little thing, ain’t it??  What is it about invasive species, at least these two, that are reduced to three letter acronyms??  Does James Allen get all his story ideas from the USDA website?  I think he must…

And why haven’t the Rhinoceros lovers of the world risen up and filed an anti-defamation suit against the naming of this pest?  While it has a vague likeness, the two aren’t even in the same league as it pertains to what role they play, one a victim of its own physiology, the other a destroyer of economies!

Red Imported Fire Ants?  as opposed to the domestic, home grown variety?  I guess it’s a real thing…  Never doubt the Trail, Dennis, never doubt the Trail…

Your natural, trusting instincts can get you in trouble… you don’t know whose side Cal is on- yours or the invasive species’…  so best you make up a back story that seems plausible but doesn’t give away the true nature of your mission…  although that invasive species line would be the perfect cover for another, more nefarious plot of your own, so by now Cal must be thinking that you are full of it…

But soft!  Do I detect foreshadowing?  As in, “The island has been quiet for several years now…”  I’ll bet you dollars to donut holes that we are in for a doozy!  But really? Where’s the story here?  This atoll is completely segregated from other islands, and unless ants learn to build rafts and migrate I think that the problem is solved…  or at least contained…

Thanks to everyone who weighed in on ant reproductive cycle and methods… very entertaining.  For the record, I have to believe that Mark and Cherry have yet to consummate their marriage.  To think otherwise would shatter all notions we hold dear in the Trailverse…

Or since Cal has already acknowledged being a big fan of Mark’s work, and therefore must know that he already knows all this “volcano” stuff, perhaps Cal can’t help himself but to go into his normal schpeel about volcanos and what-not…

…so as Mark patiently listens to the lesson in geography, above the din of the rotor and unmuffled exhaust, we whirl our way toward the tiny atoll… that is if it and Abbey are still there…

But wait a gosh-darn minute… were their two ants in that pile of logs that Honey and Darling brought with them to the island?  Or was the one that bit (was it Honey or Darling…) pregnant, otherwise how could the infestation have taken hold??  I’m still holding out hope that we will find skeletons locked in an embrace, but certainly not holding my breath, you know?

Thanks again, Dan P. for this awesome reference.  I can’t decide whether to laugh or cry thinking that there are members of congress this misinformed…  of course he was challenged and quickly defended his statement as part of his “schtick…”  Reminds me of the scene from Arthur where Dudley Moore introduces his date, Princess Gloria, to his aunt and uncle… I’m talking small…

Yes, and as long as we don’t mean politically unstable I think we’ll be OK…  no tin-horn despots hoarding uranium and spinning it down to weapons grade or anything like that.

So as Mark and Cal continue their conversation over the din of the Hughes 500D, we are left to wonder two things- did Abbey really just cool her heels on this atoll long enough for Mark to be turned down (#letmarkrentaboat) and find a chopper pilot and drive to the chopper and then fly out to see her?  And what of Cherry, now that she is free to roam the resort with her 7 minute abs?

And just how loud are Mark and Cal talking, or shouting even??  Anyone who’s been in a helicopter knows that with the spinning rotor a few feet above your head and no sound-proofing, the decibel level is quite high and one needs to wear a headset– for hearing protection as well as in-flight communication… Sound level estimates range from 90-150 dB, certainly not conversation friendly…

Anyway, seems we are off to an adventure… again.  As Cal warns Mark about the geological instability of the little atolls, we are left to wonder what force of nature is waiting to threaten our hero…  which is continuing theme- no human villains, just man against nature…  OK, it was Jefe (or maybe Jose) who drove Mark, Gabe and Carina into the cave system to begin with as they ran from the AK and the bundle of dynamite, but then for weeks it was Nature trying to take them out…  But it seems that Cal is game, heck he can always punch it and get the heck out of there if things get dicey…

OK… late add… this link brought to my attention by loyal reader Dan P. features one incredibly mal-informed member of congress, afraid that by putting too many Marines on the island of Guam that it will- get this- tip over… seriously…  great reference to supposedly unstable atolls… I was simply unaware of this one.

…Thank Goodness… But she’s “got a bad feeling about this.”  And doesn’t want to be any part of it.  Any time Mark goes on assignment, shit happens…  But look at how Mark’s face lights up at the prospect of leaving Cherry behind.  He doesn’t want her tagging along- no way, no how…  Compare his expression today with what we saw when he wasn’t allowed to rent a boat…

Business must be slow for “Island Hoppers” charter services.  It’s as if Cal was sitting around with an empty date book…  But let’s also take a look at the greatest and most blatant reference (nod? ripoff?) to Magnum…

Here we see “Higgy Baby”(Higgins, caretaker to the estate of Robin Masters, where Magnum slummed in the beach house) standing along-side the van with matching motif of the Hughes 500D that is the fleet for Island Hoppers.  TC would take Magnum for rides at the drop of a hat, and get mixed up in all kinds of stuff, all without Magnum paying him a dime!  Now there’s friendship!  “Hey we did ‘the Nam’ together, so I guess you owe me,” or something like that…  But that color scheme!  bleccch!  I guess there’s no accounting for taste, especially looking back in time…

Unabashed and unapologetic references to the Magnum PI series…  Even down to the cap that was featured in the show, worn by TC the Helicopter pilot…

I must disagree slightly however… I think that Thomas Magnum wore a Detroit Tigers Ball Cap more than anything…  But now we have the cap, the chopper and the person of color to fly said chopper…  what more do we need?

Although I will say that Cal has a striking resemblance, a familiar laconic manner that was sported by our friend Vince who maintained the family homestead in the Great Dismal Swamp…  big ears and everything… maybe they are brothers?

And there’s Mark again, denying any culpability for his actions and inevitable reactions… Ok, I will grant him the SWAN, but the Cigarette Boat went up because he unloaded a flare into the leaking pool of fuel in a feeble attempt to slow the bad guys, after his fight or flight response, permanently stuck on fight, took over…  But it appears that Vince’s hat is now in on the act- reacting to the mere chance of having to hear stories about explosions…  I mean, judging by his cap, Cal is probably still recovering from more than a lifetime’s worth of loud noises and near death experiences…

So there’s Cal… flying secret missions in Viet Nam, ferrying wounded comrades through bullet-riddled battlefields, and all he can hope for is that his copy of “Woods and Wildlife Magazine” is in the next mail pouch…  While his platoon-mates are waiting their turn at a peak inside the dog-eared Playboy, Cal is reaching deep into his footlocker, pulling out past issues of W&W and re-reading all those hard hitting pieces that Mark has contributed over the years…

Note how Cal has to interject the name of his one-chopper enterprise, just in case the Trails might have mistaken him for his competitor, Blue Hawaiian… But that guy dresses up like Elvis, anyway, and who needs a Vegas vibe on a trip to Hawaii??

Mark would (apparently) know it at first sight… and apparently really knows his helicopters, since this is one of a dozen or more variants in a long line of Hughes model 500 helicopters… The “D” certified in 1976…

Now, now, Cherry… Let’s not get all negative here… Of course Mark knows where he’s going!  And note the “you’re” and not the “we’re,” which might imply that Cherry will be taking the Roadster back to the Hotel, or someplace else to continue to get her vacation on…

The Chamber of Commerce, or “the Chamber” for short, is a political organ usually populated by the oldest and whitest of the business community…  OK, maybe not on Hawaii, where the dominant population (presumably) would be native Pacific Islanders…  or not…  according to the 2010 census, Asian accounts for nearly 40%, White 25%, another 25% declares mixed heritage and Native Islander comes in at 10%… So anyway, who calls the Chamber to get a recommendation on a Helicopter?  Ask the Concierge at your fancy hotel, pull it up on your phone and look at the Yelp ratings… but the Chamber?  Strange.

And it looks like Cherry gets to go!  Maybe that was a given, but I wasn’t going to put it past Mark to duck and run…  But the question now is can he get the chopper to land and wait while Mark and Abbey do their “thing…”  Investigate invasive species, of course. Not the other “thing…” And is Cherry even remotely excited about all this?  Sure, why not…

Word choice is ever so important…  rather than say, “Bill suggested I charter a helicopter,” or “Bill suggested I find a chopper, complete with a licensed and insured pilot flying it, to take me (not us, mind you) to the island,” Mark shares with his Darling Cherry that “Bill suggested I get a (an?) helicopter…”  Which of course elicits the gob-smacked stare from Cherry in panel 3…

But let’s turn our attention back to the first panel, where Cherry’s work with the Total Gym® is on full display!  Look at that core!  Look at how trim her arms are!  It’s almost creepy!  Almost makes me pine for her LL Bean lady’s chamois-cloth shirt and dungarees!

Well I’ll tell you what could…  Readers of this strip will surely recall what a flock of flying geese can do to a Helicopter called in to help put out a fire!  But I am sure that there is a TC on the island game for a little run to a abandoned atoll…And how many of you got the Magnum PI reference without clicking?  Extra points if you did!!

So as Editor Bill Ellis continues to keep his talent feeling important by offering another, much cooler, option, he continues to recover from PTICS (Post Traumatic Insurance Claim Stress) and can now rest easy that Mark will be a mere passenger in someone else’s craft, limiting his exposure to financial loss.  Of course he can only hope that the charter company has really great insurance, and that something happens to Mark, upon which time he could file a claim against that company!!  Makes me wonder if they have a policy on Mark himself in order that they might profit from his demise???  hmmm…  I should give Bill a call.  Of course we know that Mark is invincible and that the policy would never pay off.

Who knew that we could ever get so much mileage out of an insurance-themed discussion?!  And how many of you know that it was Ben Franklin that started the first fire insurance company in the new world?  The Philadelphia Contributorship… in 1752.  Keep coming back, kids… You can observe a lot by watching!

Remember Mark Wahlberg (I mean, he’s still around and all…) but remember how he got his start as a Calvin Klein Underwear model?  20 feet tall on Times Square??  Well, he’s got nothing on our Mark!  I think that James Allen likes to draw boats and the human form.  Mark has never looked more fit and trim…

And who the heck are you, Editor Bill Ellis?  Last I checked it was a free country and boat rentals, while maybe not mentioned in the Bill of Rights, are certainly not excluded…  And unless word has gotten out about what an awful risk Mark is, he should have no issues renting a boat on his own dime…  Or apparently a helicopter on the company dime…  we’ll see where this goes…

OK, I think we’ve milked this as much as we can… so as we leave this chapter, called “In Which Mark tries to Rent a Boat and Bill says No!” we can look forward to his figuring out another way to ruin his vacation…  not to mention the landscape.  For a supposed naturalist, Mark tends to leave a pretty heavy footprint…

Poor Bill Ellis!  He doesn’t realize that he IS in one of those “Serial Comics…”  He thinks he’s real!  Sort of like Buzz Lightyear thinking that he is actually a “Guardian of the Galaxy” and not a child’s plaything…

So as reality continues to set in on The Trail, and as his “vacation” with Cherry is blowing up like the rental boats of yore, Mark is still determined to “get the story…”  Oh, I know, why don’t you (as was suggested by faithful reader Daniel P.) ask Abbey to come around and pick you up in her ocean going dingy?

I know that you are perpetually 32 years old, but you are acting like an 8 year old who didn’t get his BB-gun for Christmas…  so with Cherry’s chortle still ringing in his ears, Mark is dealing with the fact that he got denied.  This probably hasn’t happened in the entire history of the Mark Trail Comic Strip…  When has Mark ever heard the word “No?”  Never.  Not to my knowledge, anyway…

So with Mark’s Lizard brain wracked in confusion, he’ll have to get creative.  Let’s see what kind of drive he has- or whether the right side of his brain has any juice whatsoever…

Consequences!  I love it!  Eat that, Mark!!  Mark is absolutely incredulous in panel two… and the pile of paperwork I had earlier supposed and the burden it has placed on the Magazine (and not to mention our usually game editor) are also true…

So dig into your own wallet, Mark, if you can find it…  or get creative, at least.  You can get to the island… Just find a local charter and pay the freight, if this is so important for you… Your days of just picking up the phone, calling the Magazine and getting what you want are over.  Join the 21st century where expenses are tight and boondoggles, especially ones that possibly end in large insurance claims, are frowned upon…