Doc, having now been subjected to rounds and rounds of aimless prattling by Mark about the Red Imported Fire Ant Story that got away, must surely be thinking “When is this going to end?  it was so quiet around here… and now he’s back…” And Mark, you need to give up on the notion that the island “exploded…”  It’s not quite accurate…

And Poor Cherry, standing there wondering how they are going to pay off the credit card bill from their Hawaiian vacation, is anxious for Mark to turn in the story on “Surviving the Eruption” so he can get paid…  Mark must be one hell of a fast writer to expect that he’s already pounded that one out…

… like the back-end of the always-enthusiastic large breed canine…  Andy the St. Bernard… But of course, Doc is taking the words right out of our mouths… as we too were wondering how Mark and Abbey escaped that certain doom, unlike any other mere mortals caught in the midst of a major eruption… Not to mention jumping 100 feet into the ocean…

But here we are back at the dining room table at Lost Forest… a comforting and familiar scene, cups of black coffee, the Bunn Commercial coffee maker off camera, with water always kept at brewing temperature, since they drink this stuff by the pot-full…

The last panel shows Cherry poking her head in from the kitchen, where she is cleaning up after the meal, while the men sit on their usesless arses and discuss weighty matters… Yes, Campers, time stands still at Lost Forest…

Hawaii it is, then… but let’s get something straight here…  Shouldn’t Mark be ‘Darling,’ and Cherry ‘Honey?’  And Mark, you might smile when you announce that you are taking Cherry to Hawaii… Cherry will have to get time off from the Big Lots store, or wherever she spends her days and nights while Mark is away…

Really, I think the kiss would have said it all.  Unfortunately Cherry is ruining what might be a perfectly wonderful kiss by talking her way through it, but hey, to each their own!

News for you, Mark- one rarely announces one’s intentions related to relationship investment, one simply does…

And again, Mark, what work??  Mark’s idea of “work” still sits wide of the common understanding that most of us carry around with us…  Not suggesting that there aren’t many ways to earn a paycheck, it’s just that the measure of his output (writing) seems rather sparse.  I can’t remember the last article he produced.  His editor stopped calling him once he realized that every assignment would end with mountains of paperwork and  insurance claims… usually tied to exploding boats…

Dollars to donuts, though, they are heading to Hawaii to find the remains of Honey and Darling, who apparently were also “investing in their relationship…”  which will lead to all kinds of adventure, no doubt.  And what of Rusty and Andy?  Oh, not to worry, “Doc” will be there, as always, to pick up where Mark falls down as a parent… or at least let’s hope that Mark’s idea of investing in his relationship with Cherry doesn’t include bringing his adopted son along…  “Hey Mark, want to go fishing?”  Ugh…

I can’t even bear to hear those names without flinching…  I won’t even type them, as I feel like I have spent a lifetime with them already…  No, not Mark and Cherry… you know, the other two that inspired loathing from the very first time we met them…  Not sure what makes a character sympathetic, but those two certainly didn’t have it!

Awww… isn’t that nice.  Mama Puma (or Mountain Lion, Cougar, Panther, Catamount) and her kitten sure are cute!  But where are the others in the litter?  Don’t they usually have more than one?  Careful Mark and Cherry- don’t get between her and her family!  Otherwise you won’t get to go home to yours!

OK, what’s next?  It’s a synch that Mark won’t be writing a piece on “White Nose Syndrome,” so what our next move here??

And Mark, you dog, you cad, you didn’t even notice… that Cherry had changed her hair!  It used to be red!  That has to be the last straw- she goes to the trouble of getting “Mark Trail Blue” highlights and you completely miss it!  Not to mention Rusty- There must’ve bee a two-fer at Wal*Mart on Lady Clairol Ultra Blue, since Rusty seemed to get the same treatment!

I have a terrible sense of Déjà vu, though- of the clip art variety… all these shots of Lost Forest, Mark and Cherry, right down to the condescending thumb on her chin, have been “drawn” before…  except for that that grin on Mark’s face…  Maybe I’ve never noticed it, but it has a certain wolfish quality to it, the way the the corner of his mouth curls up… Watch out Cherry?  or not… oh, let’s not think about what Mark and Cherry do off camera…

That’s what allowed you to head forever in a downward trajectory and still be convinced that you would be able to pop out on the other side of the nightmare your were in…  Just Like George Michel…

Boy, it’s been a while (mercifully) since we have laid eyes on Rusty’s face…  For those of you new to the strip, (is that even possible?) Rusty is the adopted son of Mark and wife Cherry (middle frame, playing the role of Buzz Killington…)  We was “rescued” from an abusive situation (alcohol induced paternal rage, so the rumors have it) and has been living with the Trail/ Davis clan for as long as anyone remembers.  He is also known to shape shift (even in the old Dodd/Elrod days) giving us the impression that the artists just never knew how to render him- what is his age, for example.  One day he might look 7 years old, another day 17… and today it seems he’s in between…  And while Cherry frets and scolds over the near death experiences Mark always shares up on his return, Rusty thinks the whole this is “neat.”  Funny thing is that, if Rusty is ever allowed to go along with Mark on “Assignment,” he will end up kidnapped and ball-gagged or some such nonsense…

…I will turn in my press card and Naturalist’s license!”  Oh thanks heavens, boys and girls… we will never have to lay eyes on Gabe and Carina again!  Talk about Independence Day!  Still not buying it, though- wandering through the desert on the U.S. side of the border without any credentials… how is it Gabe wasn’t thrown in a detention cell?  Well, I guess the border is fairly porous, and it probably matters which Border Patrol Agent you run into…

So now that we have one leg in the future and another in the past, we will have to allow ourselves to be stretched a bit… do we continue to follow the sand and surf induced lovemaking of Honey and Darling, or do we hang around Lost Forest for a while?  Tell you what, it makes categorizing each daily quite a challenge…

Shield your eyes, oh uninitiated…  gazing upon this lad can leave you with a sight that cannot be un-seen… And it’s interesting- but probably, again, a function of library images, Cherry in the middle panel is in sharp focus where Rusty and Mark are bordering on blurry…

And really.  Who, in polite, casual spoken word uses subjunctive, qualifying phrases that start with the word “while?” As in “While I love you dearly, Honey, I really can’t wait to get the hell out of here…”

So while we do the normal dance that leads up to Mark leaving – his announcing the trip, cherry looking sad, Rusty wishing he could go, Mark wondering why anyone would think that he might run into danger, we really should just get on with it.

C’mon Cherry – you know the drill… Mark has to leave Lost Forest in order to keep the story lines moving… there are bad guys and now a Chiropterologist waiting for him to enter their sphere in order for their own lives to become more interesting…  No concern of yours is going to get in the way of that…  Makes me think of the Movie The Truman Show, starring Jim Carrey.  What if Mark became aware that his entire life was on display for the sole reason to provide entertainment for the masses?  Would he ever mug for the camera?  Would that level of awareness (I know it’s a stretch) change the way he behaved?  And how prescient was that movie (1998)- to predict that we would soon become a Reality TV Nation? about to elect our first Reality TV President??

More panels from the library… we have certainly seen this series of images before…  Mark announcing that he is about to leave and Cherry showing “concern…” Still shocked that Mark hasn’t heard from Bill Ellis about that boat he blew up… I guess consequences are for us mere mortals…

…or even empathy?  As Doc shows off using his big words, he anticipates the questions coming from (at least) Rusty and points out that the 5-dollar word coming out of Doc’s mouth , Chiropterologist, means that he studies bats…

Classic scene in Panel one… In fact I am sure I have seen this exact configuration before– with Cherry in slight repose on the arm of the log chair, Mark hunched over, in his naturalist khaki ensemble, fire blazing and Rusty looking on from a relatively distant corner of the shot…  Andy asleep and farting in front of the hearth.  Warm days (recall the shirtless scenes from earlier) must give way to chilly nights in the Georgia Mountains.

Looks like Ol’ Doc has gone in for Just for Men- Touch of Gray on the Ol’ eyebrows…  a rather striking look, I must say.

Still confused, unless there are multiple Cuevas de Los Muertos… seems the one we are interested in is in Texas… Good to know that Mark will be able to stay in the lower 48 and avoid international waters… at least for now.

…only to tell Cherry that he is out of there- just a soon as he can pack his bag!  A hug and a kiss and he will be heading to the airport to join his “Old Friend” en La Cueva del Muerte.

The usual suspects are gathered to bear witness to the telling… it’s good that the word balloons pop out of the house, otherwise, they wouldn’t know what is going on!  The palette seems a bit muted… perhaps a harbinger of danger that lies ahead.  Let’s hope that Mark has already called Bill Ellis and received permission.  Man, he really is Bill’s bitch, isn’t he?

Seems innocent enough…  What possible danger could this assignment put you in?  Go spelunking through a hibernaculum and come out with a story that practically writes itself??  One downside I can see immediately- you will have to climb down off your perch and put some clothes on…

So, with the application of Occam’s Razor, where the simplest of explanations holds the most water, Mark will now go visit his old friend Gabriel and see what trouble he can find… Cue the music- he’s off on another adventure…

That’s Public Service Announcement, boys and girls… and a quick read of the literature suggests that humans are neither the cause nor would we be readily impacted by this situation, so while the small furry creatures are indeed cute and it’s sad to think that they are dying in droves, there might be more important causes to go after?  Mark will for sure go to Bill Ellis now and ask for a travel voucher… and we will no doubt get to meet Jose and Jefe, the two baddies in the cantina…

…and never above (or below) doing a little fact-checking, here’s a map showing spread of this dread disease from www.whitenosesyndrome.org …

…hey man… you missed Nebraska!

I know that you have special powers and all, the greatest of which is the fact that this strip is named after you, and therefore you have immortality and United King Syndicate on your side… But seriously, this is really getting to me.  And put a shirt on.  Your freakishly toned body has me more than a little weirded-out.

“If by ‘honest’ you mean that I told her this morning that I was going on ‘a little hike’ when in reality I was risking my very life in a solo free-climb…” then the answer is yes… And by the way, if Mark now has a body and temperament suited to that activity, then Gabriel certainly has a physique suited to “crawling around in the dark,” as Mark so eloquently puts it…

But there seems to be a little sadness in Mark’s “Ha Ha Ha…”  As if he secretly wishes that he hadn’t taken the deal by which he could remain a kept man- the whole package, as it were, even if under the James Allen regime they get to sport awesome, hard bodies with suggestions of actual intimacy…  a deal that includes pretending to be father to that Rascally Rusty, whom we mercifully don’t have to see very often…

And thanks to which/whomever kind reader(s) chose to take a long drink from this hose on the last day of 2015… you put me over the  top, stats-wise.  Part of the fun in this is seeing how many people come to take a look at this nonsense.  I don’t do anything promotion-wise, so by now it’s all word of mouth or somewhat random Googling.  Thanks everyone for stopping by and staying with me!  Happy New Year to you all…

How appropriate that 2016 will be the Year of the Monkey…  The Red Fire Monkey to be exact…  As Mark scampers up the sheer rock face.  Sorry, still doesn’t look like him- face too narrow, nose too slender and long, chin jutting out too far…

But soft! What does the ringing in his ditty bag bring??  Cherry?  Bill Ellis? Some other random person?  Maybe mark knows Gabriel the Chiropterologist and he will be sprung on another adventure.

As we say good bye to 2015 and hello to 2016, Mark Trail reminds us that change is ever-present in our lives and should be embraced.  OK, that was a stretch… but here’s to a great 2016, everyone!  As time marches on ever more quickly, please take time to sit on your own outcropping and take a breath of appreciation… Remember, WWMD??

The last panel reveals a familiar face… but where or when on earth did Mark have the time to develop these skills?  I guess getting shot at wasn’t enough.  He has to manufacture his own death defying moments when he’s home… this sort of reminds me of the opening scene from Star  Trek V- The Final Frontier, where Captain (or was he an Admiral by then?) James Tiberius Kirk did a little gratuitous climbing, soloing up El Capitan, only to be interrupted, and later saved, by Spock in his Jet/ Anti-Gravity Boots…

So now we have to get used to Mark the Fearless, Mark the Undaunted, Mark the Buff…  so much to get used to in this James Allen World…

Close, that is.  I have to admit- for one who suffers from mild to moderate to- OK, I admit it- severe acrophobia… fear of heights, today’s installment created in me a certain reaction.  Or is it technically fear of Falling?  Because heights, in and of themselves, present nothing in the way of danger.  Barophobia is the irrational fear of gravity.  Individuals suffering from barophobia can either have the fear that gravity might crush them, the fear of falling because of the gravity involved (distinct from the fear of heights), or even the fear that gravity might cease to exist and they will float away.   Flying in an airplane gives me no pause… I suppose that’s because I have complete confidence in the fact that there is more risk on the Crosstown Highway than there is in falling victim to a plane crash.  Roller-coasters also have no effect on me, especially that slow tick, tick, tick up the incline, and the special rush that one gets when slightly weightless at the apex before gravity takes over.  But pertaining to the strip below, I admit to a feeling of  fear, a weakness in the legs, a flutter in the stomach just looking at it.  Recall, dear readers, the trip your faithful scribe took to the CN Tower in Toronto earlier in the year…  I can tell you it took all available courage to step out onto the glass floor!!

So as the yet to be named stud with 0% body fat hangs perilously from the only available outcropping by the point of his rock hammer, we shall have to wait until tomorrow to see how he gets himself out of this predicament as it seems that even his safety rope has lost its ability to arrest any further downward influence from gravity…

…a little eye candy.  But begs the age-old question:  Does wearing only the skimpiest of spandex apparel on only one’s lower half enhance one’s ability to free-climb sheer rock faces??

But let’s consider the scenery here…  Cutter’s Bluff… introduced to us as Mark was escaping from the cranky Black Bear and saved by Rex, the ill-tempered Grizzly…  it would appear that Lost Forest has had a sudden, dramatic seismic upheaval…  Cutter’s Bluff has grown to the proportion of Half Dome of Yosemite and Ansel Adams fame.

As we bounce from locale to locale, let’s all continue to wonder what will bring all of these threads together to form a line… a story line, that is…