Yeah, you figured it. My title was just clickbait. Anyway, continuing to whine and complain might be cathartic, but it doesn’t go very far. So, I have to, uh, play the cards I’ve been dealt. Not that I won’t play them as I see them (gawd, how many clichés can I drag out!?), but I can’t continue to let complaints dominate the blogosphere.

Okay. Cherry demonstrates what happens when a parent tries too hard to engage with a pre-teen child. What 12-year old boy could fail to appreciate a city tour of “must-see” locations? How about all of them!? Having helped raise four boys, I can attest to the folly we are seeing play out before our eyes.

Otherwise, Rusty’s nice little suspenseful mystery apparently wimped out in one night, and we are left with this vacuous rambling hokum. It is quite possible that this vacuous hokum is also meant to divert our attention, where we’ll be surprised by a sudden turn of events surrounding Rusty’s Specter Search. I hope!

Hayseed Cherry (remember the stereotypical trailer home?) must not get out of Lost Forest very often. She might even be surprised to learn that people use dinner knives for cutting their food, not for eating it. Okay, maybe she’s just trying to get Rusty excited for the excursion, because he sure looks like he’d rather be somewhere else.

We might be destined for a week of strips showing Cherry and Russ—er, Rusty—visiting Portland. Like the class of delinquents Sidney Poitier hustled into the Victoria & Albert Museum in To Sir With Love, will we get a montage of Cherry and Rusty eyeballing old statues, scratching their heads at public art, and searching for the “Women and Women First” bookstore from the Portlandia TV show? Or will Rusty discover the Seaside Spector selling coffee in a Starbuck’s (“Heck, kid. Even cryptids have to earn a living, you know.”)? Buckle your lazy-boy seatbelts, people. The train is ready to pull out!

More cutsey-cutsey nonsense. And what kind of recovery center is this, anyway? Floor-to-ceiling bird cages line each wall of an otherwise empty room. Is that even good for the birds? Is there even any ventilation in there? PHEW!

As for the story, another PHEW! Plus some very questionable artwork, too. I could swear this was getting drawn by two different people. Panel 3 barely qualifies as a sketch. I just don’t get it.

And what kind of stupid question is that in panel 4, anyway: What do you do when a lumber mill catches fire?  Gee, I dunno, dudes. Maybe you tell your employees to get the hell out of the mill! Didn’t you implement any safety procedures? Don’t you get inspected by the State, or is this some kind of illegal mill? And what about safety features, such as fire hoses, water sprinklers, or an automatic fire alarm to the fire department? Do you let your employees grill their lunch in the mill?

Gawd, can we please get back to the Specter hunt?

“Four tablets and computers”? Last I looked, tablets are computers. In any event, a handful of computers is small beer; hardly what I would call a “generous gift”, unless Mabel has a yearly budget of about $10K. One would think that the boys would provide seed money for supplies, facilities, and staff. Now, all that would be generous!

Also, what is this “department” Mabel refers to in panel 2? I was under the impression this was an autonomous NPO of some sort. In any event, what’s Mark’s beef, anyway? Aside from the NFT scam—which does not appear to be illegal—what have the Brothers done? And isn’t Cricket Bro already a millionaire in his own right? Mind your own bees-wax, Mister!

Mark, just go back, pick up your family, and take your damned vacation! Quit looking for imaginary monsters; that’s Rusty’s job.

Who knew that Mark Trail was a literature junky? Maybe Jules Rivera reads Pearls Before Swine? But Mark, get it together! Quit acting like a…a… stereotypical schoolgirl!?

Well, much has been made here and elsewhere about the ongoing insults to Mark in the strip, backed up by reader indignation and frustration. This ongoing insult and parody shtick reminds me, superficially, of Charlie Brown. But that’s a different mindset, altogether. There was no prior idealized heroic image to break down and rebuild in Peanuts. Charlie Brown always got the football pulled away at the last moment. People found his pathos and futility endearing, the perennial underdog.

Almost every new character who gets introduced to Mark insults him in some way. And it’s overdone. Well, in the right kind of situation, such things could be amusing. For example, if this was the Old Mark (i.e. the big, strong, arrogantly confident, stoic hero), sarcastic jabs at his fame or ability could provide funny counterpoints to prick Mark’s ego.

But the persona of New Mark Trail is already a strong counterpoint to Old Mark Trail. While New Mark retains some of the former looks, he is rarely heroic, not that strong, not so confident, and often too emotional (as today demonstrates). That’s fine. He is a walking rebuke to the dull, former defender of the environment. So, New Mark does not need to be metaphorically kicked in the gonads every other day. Kicking somebody when they’re down just makes you (Rivera) look like a bully.

All we are saying, is give Mark a chance!

The boys have arrived at the Love Wildlife Center, a theme that reminds me of the earlier story where Reptilionnaire drove Mark to the Herp Hacienda. Borrowing the sentiment, above, from Pete Seeger, I wonder how much longer Rivera will revel in denigrating Mark.

With today’s strip, I have to agree with critics regarding the quality of the drawing, especially in panel 1. Not only are the figures stick-like and awkward looking, but the house looks out of scale. The whole panel just looks too crowded.

On the other hand, panel 3 offers a nice worm’s-eye view of Cricket Bro and Mark. The view allows us to see just these two framed against an empty sky. No crowded panel here! The foreshortened head of Cricket Bro is also very well drawn.  I have to believe that the arrangement of Mark’s fingers reflecting the design on Cricket Bro’s sweatshirt is deliberate. All in all, a really good job, Rivera.

With their two heads looking into the center of panel 4, we have a symmetrical compositional device that Rivera has used several times in the past. It’s a tad busy, but still an effective design. In summary, comparing panel 1 to panels 3 and 4, I can almost believe I’m looking at a strip drawn by two different people.

Even if this operation and their support are legit, so what? It’s a deflection, having nothing to do with their business. Look: Autocrats, warlords, and criminals used to purchase papal indulgences during the Renaissance in order to pave the way for the salvation of their souls. But indulgences didn’t justify or stop their earthly activities.

Looks like the squirrel is inspecting nuts; nuts in the SUV, that is. Mark feigns indifference in panel 4, while not bothering to “ask the hard questions” aloud for some reason. Instead, he dribbles lame sarcasm. Is that all you have, Mark? You can do better than that. So how come Cherry and Rusty weren’t invited? You want to win over Mark? The Bros should have invited Rusty along to get excited about animals!

Okay, a few interesting visual takes:

1. As was the case even with Allen, cars often look like they are standing still. Yet, Rivera makes the case for movement in panel 3 with speed lines emanating from the trees. It’s an interesting solution, but goes against logic. Normally these lines appear on the back of the moving object (the SUV) indicating motion. But it isn’t the trees that are moving. Instead, we should normally see something suggesting blurred tree images as the SUV speeds by. Nevertheless, because we read these speed lines as “movement”, they still kind of work, which is all that is necessary.
2. The “exposed interior” view in panel 2 is not original, but unusual. It is certainly more interesting than the usual car-with-dialog balloon we see in panel 1. So points for once again (finally) inserting an unusual and interesting angle into the strip. It is unfortunate that the figures in the car (save for Cricket Bro) look flat and uninvolved. A realistic representation of people in a car, no doubt, but why waste an opportunity to show something interesting?
3. I’m guessing that the purple color in panels 2-4 is meant to suggest tinted windows, something that the B&W newspaper readers will miss.

While we watch the beaver destroy a tree, we still have to wonder:  Doesn’t anybody ever change their clothes!? Brand Identity has always been a lazy crutch in the comics.

As for today’s strip, all I can say is I’ve about given up trying to figure out the point of the Jerk Brothers’ immature attitude or Rivera’s point. We already know they are losers, but why does Rivera feel the need to constantly play up their pathetic behavior? And why does she feel the need to expose us to this nonsense? What’s the end game, Jules?

Maybe Happy Trail’s comment in panel 2 (“You’re going to love this, Marky!”) is a subtle hint to Mark that they might stop somewhere along the way and arrange for the two morons to have a fatal accident.

Oggi è il mio compleanno e ho 71 anni. But I’ll let it go at that.

Rusty is continuing to shrink back into his “vintage” Rusty persona, which is a great loss to us. I had high hopes that he had enough moxie to follow through on his adventure. But, Rivera seems intent on emasculating all of the male characters. I don’t think that’s necessary, if the intent is to enhance Cherry’s presence and worth. She clearly has enough self-confidence on her own without having to make Mark, Rusty, and the “rest of the boys” look like misfits and punks. As I have written before, it is fine to take Mark down a few notches from his prior idealistic, straight-arrow, classic male-hero persona and give him some actual feelings, personality, and faults. But there is such a thing as going too far. Surely, Mark can be seen as self-assured and confident without being arrogant or elitist.

I really think Rivera could use an assistant so she can spend more time on the art, which is clearly suffering from the never-ending deadlines she has to meet. All of the prior Mark Trail artists had assistants (even Allen), so it would be a great idea for everybody if King Features paid Rivera enough to take on a full-time assistant. Write to them and insist they do this.

As for today’s strip, I hope Mark just walks away with Cherry and Rusty and takes the vacation they actually planned on. Forget these dweebs! If Dad can’t look out for himself, he needs to get out of the business.

“Cricket Bro deals Mark a crushing blow”? Huh? Did he kick Mark in the gonads? Although I generally support Rivera’s work, I do wish she would stop making Mark out to be some kind of temperamental, man-boy, especially when called really bad, hurtful, and obscene names like “nerd.” OMIGOSH!! The shame! I suppose one has to have standards, but for heaven’s sake, Rivera, what’s with this constant belittling of Mark and his inability to suffer any kind of criticism or jest? I wonder if he also just wet his pants? I’m surprised you don’t have Cherry stepping in to put Cricket Bro in his place.

Jules, please get away from indulging in so much of this kind of pointless and plotless soap opera slurry. And—“I beg your pardon!” is that bear bringing salmon to grill? Somebody grab some lemons!

“Sell NFTs”, Mark? I’m just a slow boy from Virginia, but it wasn’t too long ago that Cricket Bro was not only selling NFTs, he was creating them! Well, we have to keep in mind that Rivera created the two Bros and this NFT biz for the purpose of satire. I think.

There really are “NFT Influencers” all hyping the Metaverse, marketing digital products, and buying/selling NFTs. According to an information site (https://peertopeermarketing.co/metaverse-marketing/) “Gucci sold a virtual bag for $4115, and Digital Coutour sold a dress (also digital) for $9500.” Nike purchased a “digital collectables company” to create and sell (to real people) virtual sneakers for users’ avatars. I kid you not. This site is an interesting read.

So, what’s with the “lure them in” blather in panel 3? From what I’ve read, NFT Influences are more than happy to chat with you, work on your product or idea, and take your money. It’s why they exist.

I have no idea what Mark is visualizing in panel 3, do you? But I do know that this week is proving me right:  Rusty’s adventure is a lot more interesting than this so-called business meeting. And how is it that Mark suddenly knows so much about harvesting crickets, anyway? That’s Rob’s expertise, right? Still, if we take the story at face value (the only excuse I have come up with), Mark makes a good point in panel 4. And that point reveals the scam. I’m thinking the Crypto Bros will want to spin the implication of Mark’s question a lot differently to keep their patron (Happy) satisfied.

So, Mark needs to visualize a granola bar just like Crypto Bro Jadsen Sterling needs to visualize a cricket!? Why do we care about that, anyway? I don’t think we readers have to wonder what a granola bar and a cricket look like.

Taking this story at face value, it isn’t too difficult to begin to see the scam element of this scheme. Even Mark seems to be nearing the Shores of Clarity with his last question, which certainly has hit a nerve with Jadsen. Either that, or Jadsen thinks Mark’s response is just a bad joke.

Ah well, we can only hope that Rusty’s story will at least continue on in the format of Cherry’s stories: 1 week for Rusty, and 2 weeks for Mark.  So, gird your loins and settle in, dear readers. And it seems that the Crypto Bros are grilling at night! Is that even permissible!? I’m sure that Steven Raichlen must have some kind of rule about that in one of his books.

Regarding the current storyline, let me shout “NOW HOLD ON THERE!” Happy Trail is suddenly au fait with crypto terminology and related BS? Wasn’t he the grieving sad sack back in Florida, realizing he had been taken advantage of by his “new” family members? And here he is now, shilling for them, like some kind of TV infomercial tout at 2 AM. And Mark, who should at least have a modicum of understanding by now, once again reacts like the country rube he portrayed in his Palm Springs adventure with Reptilionnaire and Cricket Bro. Yet Mark was the one lecturing Pappy Happy on the dangers of NFTs, crypto, and block-chaining!

A few notes on the art:  Some good, if subtle, touches in the art today: 1) the balcony seems to sport a semi-transparent wraparound, so the lower bodies of the people are realistically obscured. The panel shows a composition with the surrounding forest (except for the owl). In panel 2, the Bros and Happy are at the far end of the balcony and looking at us, like a faux “break the fourth wall” kind of thing. It simply means Mark shares our viewing angle. Nice concept!

The poor dear! At the first sign of possible danger, our intrepid “Hardy Boy” turns to mush and wails for his mom to rescue him. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t recall that the old Rusty freaked out so early on in his Mexican adventure, at least not until near the end. But then again, That Rusty had a partner.

Okay, this must mean another plot twist is being thrown in. Rivera must not think Rusty has enough personality to keep readers’ attention on his own, so he is going to get a partner, I suppose. If true, I think it is a mistake. Give Rusty just a tad more maturity and reasoning and he’d be golden.

If this was Mark or Cherry, we’d be pretty pissed, I think. But I think it fits right into a kid’s imagination. Now, as far as what Rusty sees, I suppose the reality is it could just be a malformed tree or some other inanimate object; actually, the Seaside Specter; or worse, somebody pretending to be the Seaside Specter, which would humiliate Rusty. I’m hoping it isn’t one of those boring people back in the house thinking this would be a fun prank to play on the kid.

The art has been okay the past several days, though I’m still not sold on this flattened style, where there is virtually no effort at shading, hatching, or other techniques to suggest solidity or even light and dark. This visualization becomes even starker when the strips are viewed in their B&W newspaper format. The online coloring really influences the panels in a way that softens the starkness of the lines. I suppose a good question is whether Rivera envisions this comic strip as inherently B&W or as a color strip that has to be unfortunately printed in B&W.

I reckon seaside property values have skyrocketed so much that the Seaside Specter had to relocate to the river. But where? The Columbia River is over 1200 miles long, and Portland is only along a small portion of it. Portland is 60 miles from the Pacific and 100 miles by river to the Pacific. That’s a lot of ground (or riverside) to cover. But why spoil things for Rusty? Kids should get to have real adventures, not just the kind you get on a phone. Fortunately, Rusty is used to the woods.

But what will you do if you spot it, Rusty? Did you bring a net? A stun-gun? A camera, even? Are you going to interview it for your vlog? Or, like your dad—who never seems to have a camera when on the job—will you rely on your memory and imagination to record your adventure?

Clever! Cherry picked a middle course of action.  Question:  How did she just happen to have a set of walkie-talkies? I think Rusty will go with the “or so” option for communicating with Mom, right? 

Cherry takes a “Dagwood” (or a George Burns ) pose to commiserate directly with us. I think a lot of readers are already there.

Rusty’s neck in panel 2 is improbably long and skinny (as has been observed and commented on with other characters). Perhaps, though, it could be there to emphasize Rusty’s surprise reaction to see the walkie-talkie. But then again, I’d expect to see some supporting accent lines, as with the walkie-talkie.

As frequent reader Daniel P. acutely pointed out, Rusty’s adventure plot seems to roughly parallel that of Mark’s adventure with Dr. Camel’s search for The Yeti (see our September 2019-February 2020 archives). That is, both involve a search for a fictitious but believed creature. Reviewing the Yeti story reminded me of the talking heads clipart style that Allen favored. To give it its due, Mark’s adventure had plenty of action, frequent Mark outbursts, and a woman who could not make up her mind about him. On the other hand, the expedition seemed pointless and settled nothing.

Rebooting story ideas is hardly new in the history of Mark Trail adventures. What is important here is whether Rivera can carry it off. Because the protagonist is a minor and not a deluded adult, I think this story has a more plausible foundation. But that won’t be enough if the story does not contain enough action, suspense, and a decent resolution.

But Rivera immediately throws a monkey-wrench (momma-wrench?) into the adventure, just as it begins. I suppose we could see Cherry’s presence as a plot twist, in which she either gets involved or Rusty finds a way around her. Tune in tomorrow!

Well, OKAY! Not a moment too soon.  Let’s hope that Rusty’s story has more excitement and suspense going for it than what’s going on inside the house with “the adults.” Not a high bar to get over. At this point, I think we all would rather be on the hunt with Rusty. Anything to stay out of that house!

Furthermore, let’s hope that when Rusty’s adventure ends, “the adults” will have finished their boring business and the Trails can then fly home.