As Cherry dangles Mark’s phone over the pool’s edge, clearly she’s not risk averse… And of course in the James Allen Trailverse, that’s not the only thing (or things) that are dangling in panel one…  But of course Mark is seeing none of that and can’t wait to get on the phone with Abbey!  The phrase “Invasive Species” is all he hears, his ticket out of the pool and away from his wife…

So with an enthusiasm not shown toward anything Cherry wanted to do, Mark engages with Abby to find out more about what happening on the nearby atoll.  Let’s consider for a moment (at least so far) how seemingly incompatible they are with each other-

“Hey Cherry, want to paddleboard?”  “No, I’ll stay here and drink”

“Mark, Honey, look at all these cool excursions we could take!”  <<silence>>  <<ring, ring>> “Answer the Phone, Cherry”

So the question is now whether Cherry goes along with Mark…

…the proof is in the pudding, or something like that…  As the camera pans back to reveal a wreck of some kind, the “Elizabeth Dane,” or so it appears… A quick peak back to the “two years ago” segment does not show that the Yacht had a name, or that there was very much wood in its construction, so who knows what this all means.

But is the Pelican real?  It almost looks like a casting of some kind…   Pelican bills are normally orange, or at least not white…

Wow, it almost sounds credible…  C’mon Abbey come clean.  You just want to lure the Trail to an island paradise for a little extended “field work…” and now your plan is foiled because he’s already there… with his wife!!  I’m guessing that Abbey is on Kauai as well, otherwise, unless they all have sat phones, they probably wouldn’t be talking…   But what do I know…  probably a SIM card that allows for that these days…  and according to lonelyplanet.com, one need only dial 1-808 and the number and you are good to go, island to island!

OK, but now for the elephant in the room…  perspective or not, Cherry is an amazon!  She’s got to be 7 feet tall in that picture if she’s an inch.  It’s unnatural.  Like her head has been plopped onto an extraterrestrial or something…   a buff, leggy extraterrestrial, but still…

I’m starting to think that we aren’t going to find the skeletal remains of Honey and Darling though… their contribution to this whole story is the fact that they carted firewood onto the island, complete with fire ants, and within a two year time span managed to upset an entire ecosystem…

Uhhh, right.  You’re an “Agent” of the USDA, you’ve stumbled upon an invasive species situation in our 50th state, and your first call is Mark Trail!  OK, maybe not your first call, but the fact that you would call him at all is hilarious…

Nice scowl on Cherry in panel one!  We can just hear (and maybe should be seeing, given the medium) the icicles hanging off the dialogue!  But really?  “Mark Trail’s office?”  Ha!  Who’s kidding whom, here??  And the fact that Abbey assumed/knew that it was Cherry answering the phone!  Double-ha!!

I’m not sure that Cherry and Abbey ever actually met, at least on “on camera…” I thumbed through the “Leave it to Beaver” story arc (which by the way moved fairly quickly compared to the Cave Odyssey, but then using that as a standard so did the formation of the Rocky mountain range…) and don’t see where the two actually met…  If I’m wrong here, please let me know!

Such a scowl on your face in panel three!  But how exactly do you propose that people know when you are on vacation and when you are not?  Your entire life is devoid of schedules, responsibility, deadlines, and answering to anyone other than yourself.  That, for most people, defines “Vacation…”  And why, pray tell, do you have your phone with you and turned on?  Only to ensure that your “vacation” with Cherry will be interrupted, which is your most fervent wish anyway… rather than go on all the excursions that Cherry is contemplating as she rifles through the pamphlets!

Is it me, or does Mark look like Andy Kaufman in Panel two?  You know, the comedian that played “Latka”on the show “Taxi” from the 70’s?

Cherry, you are lit, girl.  Look at you!  And all the brochures!  Don’t you know that it’s the excursions that will get you?  They lure you to a tropical paradise, even an all-inclusive with watered-down drinks, for next to nothing, and the next thing you know you are spending hundreds a day getting bused around to look at monkeys and ruins and what-not…  Not that there’s anything wrong with what-not, but please be careful to avoid sticker shock upon checking out!

Ah, saved by the bell!  No doubt an “old friend” of Mark’s catching up to him on vacation- that will now drive a wedge between what was planned and what will now actually happen.  We needed something to happen, because watching Mark and Cherry on vacation would not be very exciting!

“That was a close call!” Mark can now exclaim aloud as he breaks the water’s surface.  Paddleboard?  Check.  Paddle?  Life Preserver?  Who knows… they should appear magically by tomorrow…

As Mark puts hairs numbered 12,345 and 23,456 back in place, and as a Manta Ray glides quickly away, we are reminded (again) that Nature is as Nature does… that we, as land dwellers, are merely guests in this watery world.  Oceans cover 70% of the globe.  Hiding vast mountain ranges and life forms…  Think about that… we have marveled at this for centuries, not being sure what lay at the horizon…  imagine living in a world limited by your ability to see and perhaps walk, slowly, to test your boundaries…  in the grand scheme of things, that wasn’t that long ago…  a couple of ticks of the epochal clock.

That must have been some impact, as it appears to have knocked Mark right out of his PFD – Personal Flotation Device- (if not his BVD’s…) So now he’ll owe money for that as well…

What must is be like for a whale, who can only give the world a side-ways glance…  who must have a giant blind spot in front, which denies it binocular vision and any hope of depth perception?  Does it maintain two distinct fields of view?  How does the whale brain process that?  Apparently that’s still a mystery, even going back to Melville’s time when he captured Ishmael’s pondering of the very same question…

Close, that is…  or “CLOSE!,” as Mark puts it…  Hair only slightly out of place while he swims away from the concussion of the whale’s “KARAASH.”  Sort of light Chris Farley (rest his soul) doing a cannonball in a kiddie pool…  not that he ever did, to my knowledge, but the effect would be the same…

So as Mark is driven underwater, he’ll have to surface and find his personal watercraft and paddle… but maybe he’ll run into Abbey Powell somewhere out there… or maybe Abbey and Cherry are already tying one on poolside, new “Besties” not even aware of the tie that binds them…  I think that Cherry had decided to not return to Wally’s forest after a single visit where she got to witness his misogynistic thought patterns, and thereby never met Abbey Powell who then came into our consciousness as an Agent of the USDA, to help Wally with his Emerald Ash Borer problem…

But I digress.  Here we are in sunny, wonderful Hawaii, and unless there is a man-eating shark waiting in the wings, Mark should be able to return to Cherry unscathed, if only a bit rattled by the fact that Nature seems to have it out for him…

…and convince him that a story would move along just fine without you ending up on the wrong side of some natural force…  this time, a humpback whale feeding and and then breaching on your ass…  (the linked video is hilarious… the videographer is entranced but his mate is less than happy about the whole thing…)   I have to admit my first reaction when reading this was laughter.  Good thing this is a family strip otherwise Mark might have let loose with a more appropriate “oh sh*t” or “oh, f*ck me…” I am sure he’s quite sick of being in harm’s way.

But such is his lot in life.  So Mark, you’d better react quickly and get out of the way- at least get off the paddleboard, so you can be driven underwater, and not driven into the shards of the soon to be demolished rental craft.  Then there will be the matter of the damage deposit… much like every other thing you have ever rented that floats… it never ends up well…  if there was a list, his name would be on it, and he’d be forever barred from signing a rental contract…

Whales, huh?  I think some of you out there called this ahead of the big reveal…

And for those of you doubting, (certainly not me…) here’s what happens in nature…  pretty amazing… and accurate right up to the bubbles and such…

And look… Mario’s back… in all his clipped glory!  But one would think that the close proximity to the exploding whale pod would have knocked him off the paddleboard…

…and speaking of exploding whales, check this out…

The pace is staggering here.  Don’t know if I can take it.  I thought Mark would be on the paddleboard for a week before anything really happened!! Bravo!

…a law, even, against the single panel.

I sit here, dumbfounded.  Searching.  Wanting to say something.  I think to myself (much like Mark is now..) “This is like the cave all over again… There are different ways to be trapped, even on top of the water within a paddle-board’s distance from shore…”

Of course they are fish! What else is going to live in the water?!  I guess the “suspense” is in asking the question, “What’s causing this phenomenon?” Predators (probably billfish of some sort) are working together to form a bait-ball and have a little dinner.  The fish, forced to the surface, are easy pickings for the gulls, and they are grateful.  Mark, the supposed naturalist, is transfixed.  Next.

I am not even compelled to google ‘bubbles n the water’ since it will probably be related to gas…

Help me Obi Wan, you are my only hope…  Maybe tomorrow…

…taking your chances that a rip tide isn’t gong to suck you out to sea, and also content in the notion that Cherry is going to be all right drinking daiquiris all by herself on the beach!  Oh, OK, I mean what could possibly happen, especially when it’s not even clear (to me at least) who is on the paddleboard.   Is that Mark?  We recently learned a lesson that just because someone is wearing a familiar swimsuit ensemble doesn’t guarantee it is who you think it is…

I mean, it doesn’t even look like him…  looks like Luigi from Mario Brothers- is that a mustache??

But back to the adventure…  It is in fact Mark on the paddleboard, doing what Mark does- taking stock of his surroundings and noticing things that are off-kilter…

No “What th-” but rather a full blown, “What in the World!?” Talk about being off-kilter. With Mark’s Spidey Senses tingling, I guess we’ll have to find out tomorrow what is blowing bubbles.  My first though is whale, but that would be one source of big bubbles, not many sources of little bubbles…

But I am sure many of you wondered what became of the Saturday edition… well turns out I was back in Adams County, WI home to my Aunt and Uncle and any number of amazing things, the least of which (left) is not the fact that Uncle Tommie, after years of trying to make the senior tour, has set his clubs aside to work on becoming a bona fide hummingbird whisperer…  Now, getting this little guy to slow his heart rate down is no mean feat, not to mention getting him to lie still long enough to get a couple of pictures off…

… and not to mention the fact that our friendly Black Squirrel (common to these parts) at the Petenwell Pub has a new summer outfit- a snappy red cowboy hat!  Recall the trip from last winter, where the temperature was well below zero- the little gal had her fleece on!

Well, it’s back to reality, everyone!  Another day to give my liver a rest and look forward to tomorrow’s installment!

Cherry’s got her red highlights back…

And Cherry, by that private thought I assume that you are comparing this experience to other vacations like the trip tot he Great Dismal Swamp (BOOOOOM!) or some awful wind-swept and  bug-ridden canoe trip… So with umbrella drink in hand and bikini-ready body on display, Cherry is quite happy to be doing absolutely nothing…

But of course Mark is already bored and wants to go rent a couple of boards!  Why not challenge the famous surf and dangerous rip-tides?

This is getting creepy.  The thought of Mark and Cherry Trail sharing the “King’s Cottage” is more than I can fathom… I wasn’t following things terribly closely when they finally tied the knot, but I can only imagine the honeymoon involved camping and canvas…  with maybe even Rusty (adopted ward) and Andy (the Saint Bernard) along for the ride…  For years (decades) it appeared that Mark avoided any form of intimacy with Cherry and now he’s (willingly) heading right into the maw… Am I the only one that is nervous about this whole thing??

Bonus points for Cherry in knowing that it’s a conch shell being sounded…  all that time watching NatGeo or the Discovery Channel at Lost Forest is paying dividends!  But of course Mark has to rain on her parade… like she didn’t also know that doormen in Hawaii are generally shirtless and use such native gestures to welcome visitors!

Footnote- I googled ‘Rusty Trail’ and it would appear that this is not a common search combo for Google, at least not in reference to the adopted son of Mark and Cherry…

Obviously there are many other more important things going on, mostly having to do with the unwanted oxidation of iron…

The Coco Palms Resort…  Ripe with History going back to the 1800’s when the grove was planted… later to be the set for the Elvis Presley movie, Blue Hawaii.  Hurricane Iniki wiped it out in the early 90’s and has been deserted ever since.  It is scheduled to be re-opened in 2017 as a Hyatt resort…  I guess Mark and Cherry are A-listers who were invited to experience a soft opening, or something like that… Careful at the beach, guys, Wailua is know for poor water quality and dangerous rip-tides!

Well that was a lot of research for a Wednesday morning… but I have never been to our 50th state (that’s right… Alaska is the 49th…) and for the first time I realize that Hawaii, which became a state in 1959, wasn’t even a state when the attack on Pearl Harbor happened.  Huh.

In 1893, a group of American expatriates and sugar planters supported by a division of U.S. Marines deposed Queen Liliuokalani, the last reigning monarch of Hawaii. One year later, the Republic of Hawaii was established as a U.S. protectorate with Hawaiian-born Sanford B. Dole as president. Many in Congress opposed the formal annexation of Hawaii, and it was not until 1898, following the use of the naval base at Pearl Harbor during the Spanish-American War, that Hawaii’s strategic importance became evident and formal annexation was approved. Two years later, Hawaii was organized into a formal U.S. territory. During World War II, Hawaii became firmly ensconced in the American national identity following the surprise Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor in December 1941.

Same old story I guess…  back when invading and conquering was an accepted way to expand one’s territory…  But then without this act of colonial aggression BHO couldn’t have become our 44th president…  And with that I may have set a record for the greatest number of links in a single post…

…and where he comes from… so for all we know he comes from money- sort of Bruce-Wayne-like… which would explain how he can afford to live the life of a career dilettante…  posing as a Nature Writer, but able to go wherever he wants and rent the fanciest of cars  (Porsche 911??)… it was about time he brought Cherry in on the secret…

But wait!  I thought Honey was dead!  Mark, you sure get around!  What a cad!  Telling Cherry that she is going on a (an?) Hawaiian Vacation only to leave her stranded with Rusty, Doc, and Andy in Lost Forest…

Well it’s only a matter of weeks before Abbey and Mark run into each other and then Mark will have some “splaining” to do…  and we can get on with this “fire ants ruined the island” story…

Abbey reminds us that her glasses are not just for show, which we learned in the last story she was featured.  We are also reminded that she doesn’t go anywhere without vials, empty or otherwise…

But thanks to Mainer7, for those of us, including me, not paying as close enough attention, for the answer to the ant-as-invasive species riddle…

Remember??  Well I hadn’t…  nice work!

Which of course begs the question as to why Honey and Darling’s yacht had a cache of firewood on it…  Because they assumed they’d run into a deserted island and need fuel for a romantic sleep-over, or because the ship had a working, wood-burning fireplace?  Or why the entire boat wasn’t infested with ants…so many questions!

But I also recall that Darling got bit by something as he was toting the wood…

And I had assumed that he had been bit on the toe or something… but clearly I was wrong about that too…

Boy, it’s difficult to admit, but I am certainly not doing a very good job of keeping up with these story lines…  thanks again, Mainer7, for shining a light on this most complicated situation!

…whether the only plot device available to Mark Trail these days is putting human beings in peril…  Whatever happened to the eco-villains?  The poachers? The rapers of scenery?  Those who would enrich themselves in ways contrary to the Trailian world view??

Not sure whether I could form full sentences if I were hurtling down a rock face, but I guess this is better that a sustained “AAAHHHHHHH!!!!!”

So as Abbey lies on her back in repose, or in a Pilates stretch maneuver, we are led to believe that she is OK, otherwise she couldn’t be wise-cracking at this point…