OK, Blondie… you are close.

Indoors, though?  How about underground??  In the tunnels under the Ghost Town?  Dug by whom I wonder??  And what is falling down in the first panel? A giant water heater??

I don’t know what is creepier… The fact that Mark and Baldy are communicating telepathically… right down to font size and characteristics…

…or that the windmill blades are shredding like they are made of Papier-mâché…  but then it wouldn’t be able to stick into the side of whatever building it did.

What will be interesting is whether this little brush with jagged metal will drive the evil Baldy away from the saloon and into the church basement where one of two things will happen- they will get hooked into the tunnel system, home of the biblically named Samson the bear, or they will run into the Church Lady and have to answer to her!!

Not.

Look out!

Everyone Look out!

The dialogue is simply riveting here, folks…

I remind everyone that Mark was taken hostage in Early April.   That was 5 months ago.

<<yawn>>

At least we know where the gun is at…  Baldy took it back from Blondie after she fired the warning shots (all crossed-eyed and stuff) to keep Mark from turning Baldy’s head into cauliflower…

1892, huh?  That’s awfully specific…  What happened in the year 1892 in the South Dakota Badlands?

In 1890 the 7th Cavalry kills more than 250 Lakota men, women and children in what comes to be known as the Wounded Knee Massacre. A solitary stone monument near the town of Wounded Knee marks the site of this tragedy.

In 1892 in Mitchell, South Dakota, a small, 12-year-old city of 3,000 inhabitants, the world’s only Corn Palace was established on the city’s Main Street. It was replaced in 1905 and again in 1921.  But who really cares about that??

The point was made earlier that Mark can and should go wherever the hell he wants to… And why does he care so much for the welfare of those who who would hold him against his will (if he has one) at gunpoint…  I agree.

Bald head, snarling puss…  I don’t take orders from nobody, see?  And I need a drink, get it?  Even though this town is deserted, there’s sure to be a bottle of rot-gut whiskey somewhere in there, certainly more likely there than inside the church… But Mark knows best…

I still don’t get where the ponytailed guy with the plane fits into all of this.  Of course that’s nothing new, these stories have so many loose ends they are difficult to track.  Was it also in this supposed story arc that Dirty Dyer made a very brief return?

Even in a whirlwind of a literal nature, Mark’s hair is barely mussed up…

Looks like the ghost town is going to be an ex-ghost town in a few minutes… which reminds me of a stop in the Badlands that I failed to mention- the 1880 Town…

…looks eerily familiar, doesn’t it??

So yea… get underground everyone!  Leave the horses to themselves!  The entire Herd is now left to its own devices!!

Storm’s a comin’… yes indeed.

Funny how people who (we assume) have never been on a horse are suddenly expert enough to ride at a full gallop…  Although it looks like Baldy is heading in the wrong direction…

It was a bit Ironic that travel plans would take me to the Rapid City, SD area… Unlike Mark, who flew right into RC, SD and was immediately taken hostage, I got to enjoy a few sites and sights along the way… Not unlike the Leave it to Beaver story arc that had me visiting Toronto for a few days only to discover the ubiquitous nature of  the American Beaver (Castor Canadensis) in Canada!

Here we get a sense of Mr. Allen’s (shall we say quirky?) sense of humor…  OK, moving right along, slowly…

I am sure that Johnny is already tired of being the Sheriff’s set up man… delivering straight lines to the Sheriff’s mysterious and ironic responses…

But enough of this Mark Trail inspired tomfoolery and suggestions of relationships with Grizzly bears that don’t / shouldn’t exist…  Let’s take a peek at some photos from SODAK 2017…

First Stop, The Corn Palace, Mitchell, SD.

Features  “a-maize-ing” (ha!) murals made of corn!  And Hosts events inside with a capacity of 3,200 seats.  It is also home to the Dakota Wesleyan University Tigers and the Mitchell High School Kernels basketball teams.  Your faithful scribe is featured bottom left with a seemingly happy ear of corn!

Next onto Chamberlain, which, according to its own history has struggled to be a place where people would want to actually stay… but really served as a jumping-off point for many, including Lewis & Clark!

At the rest stop there is a magnificent statue!  As found on Trip Advisor:  Officially titled “Dignity,” the statue depicts a colossal (50 ft. high) Native American woman holding aloft a star quilt. It was built of steel by sculptor Dale Lamphere, weighs 11 tons, and was dedicated on Sept. 17, 2016. The statue cost over $1 million, and is engineered with pivoting diamond-shaped panels in the quilt so that wind can blow through it and not blow the statue over.  

According to the Artist:  Her Name is Dignity.  Standing at the crossroads, Dignity echos the interaction of earth, sky and people.  It brings to light the beauty and promise of the indigenous peoples and culture that still thrives on this land.  The intent is to have the sculpture stand as an enduring symbol of our shared belief that all here are sacred, and in a sacred place.

Between Chamberlain and Wall, SD, there are over 60 billboards warning the weary traveler of the Drug Store in Wall that features free ice water and 5-cent cups of coffee… Upon arrival though, one finds the greatest of all tourist traps (probably) in the lower 48… enough said.

And what trip to SD would be complete without a visit to Mount Rushmore?

…still breathtaking, especially on a clear, sunny day.

We also took a trip to the Crazy Horse Memorial, the scale of which is ridiculous… all the heads of Mount Rushmore will fit into the head/hair of Crazy Horse.  This sculpture was commissioned and started around the same time as Rushmore, but remains a work in progress, accepting no federal monies and relying on contributions.  It’s the work of the Korczak Ziolkowski family, and continues today.

On the way through the badlands, we stumbled upon the “Prairie Homestead” which offered a glimpse of life in a sod house.  This homestead was established in 1909, was occupied until the 1950’s and features the house, a storm/root cellar, an outhouse (poor fella…) snakes and prairie dogs (white ones, which is a bit of a rarity according to the guides…)

Finally, and with a sound one can only image, here’s part of what greeted us every morning at our mountain rental, as we shared the trails with a herd of Black Angus Beef Cattle…

Johnny and Sheriff better wipe their feet before they come inside…

Took a day off but am back at it… and this is making even less sense that it ever has…

Yup, let’s recount…  Sheriff What’s His Name shows up and demands strong horses (plural) and rides off… Chides Johnny about the “pony” he is riding… sends his pony back to the ranch alone (magic homing horses??)  And now informs him that they are going to enter the cave on foot, sending their remaining mounts back tot he ranch, alone…

And now they enter the cave on foot and with flashlight (thank goodness we aren’t being asked to believe in some form of naturally occurring bioluminescence…)  And Sheriff warns Johnny about the “pits” that abound in the grizzly cave…  Johnny I ask you again, why aren’t you asking for the broader plan, why are you being a sheep?  Why the long face in the second panel?

You all may find this mildly ironic… I am actually on a family vacation in the Black Hills of South Dakota!  Passed through Wall and Rapid City yesterday and am staying in a nice rental on top of a mountain!  Did a little fishing this morning… more excursions planned for the coming week.  Funny, though, no signs of Mark, Baldy, Sheriff, Johnny or anyone!

But what’s this?  No one wants to go Spelunking without a harness?  We have done the cave thing before, haven’t we, faithful followers of this meandering an ill-conceived (although reasonably well drawn) serial?

Note- I posted the first two installments above yesterday, but not in a place where you all could see it… good gravy- I’ve only been doing this sine January of 2013…

I will probably wait ’til the weekend to post again- internet in the Black Hills is dodgy!

…and perhaps look for inconsistencies in the artwork.

Johnny is now supposedly on the other draft horse, not his “frightened little pony,” but the colors are all wrong.  The horse that Sheriff what’s-his-name was dragging behind him was not white or gray, but more chestnut…  and Johnny’s “pony” was definitely white/gray…

Johnny, why are you following this guy?  Aren’t your senses tingling at this point?  You are a private citizen taking direction from a known abuser of power…  who will probably be looking for a Presidential pardon at some point in his career…  Law Man of the Year?  Who ever heard of such a thing??

This Sheriff dude is proving to be quite the know-it-all…

What gear?  They lit off without so much as a poncho!!  And Sheriff, could you be any more condescending?  Your Little Pony?  Please… technically “pony” is reserved for any equine less than 14.2 hands high… and other considerations…  but judging from the proportions in the last panel and in previous days, Johnny’s mount ain’t no pony…  either that, or Johnny has suddenly shrunk to child-size.  So, calm, heavy horses it is.  Like Boxer in George Orwell’s Animal Farm… Unquestioning, unwavering, faithful to the end in whatever power structure is in place and whatever task is put before him.

You’ve been found out sheriff!  Johnny is calling you on your story.  Along with your faithful readers who pointed out that Griz simply don’t live in the Black Hills…

So, um, yea, see…  he doesn’t come out unless he’s hungry… sticks to the caves…  he’s over 100 years old, Ol’ Sampson is…  What a crock!!  So even if you have to “deal with that bear,” his eyes will be cloudy with cataracts and he won’t have any teeth left…

Talk about your copy/paste functions…

the center panel today is identical to the the one from yesterday…  Sort of like a slylock fox comic on Sunday… they always have a “what’s different” exercise for the kids…

Grizzly, huh?  Name of Samson, huh?  Oh the tension builds… “Yea, let’s just go ahead ride on into that Ol’ Grizzly cave and see what trouble we can stir up…  in our stirrups… Ha!  Get it?  That’s a joke, son!  Nice boy but he’s about a sharp as a bag of wet mice…”

…and random earthquakes?  Let’s hope not.  We’ve been there too many times…  will the caves be magically lit up?  Big enough for men on horseback?  That sounds like some cave system…

Attempt at humor… irony, anyway.  “See that ridgeline up there?”  “Uh, no… I mean No, Sir!”  And what’s with Sheriff Stober’s collar in the second panel? I just noticed that he looks like a damn Pilgrim…  right out of Plimouth Plantation.  Ever been to see Plymouth Rock, the one emblazoned with “1620” on it?  It’s not much to see…

And so it appears that Johnny’s tumble over the edge was planned!  At least that’s their story and they are sticking with it!

What do you mean not catch them??  Catch up to them?  Catching them is the whole reason for being out in this miserable driving rain…

Speaking of rain and such, I have family that road tripped to St. Louis to achieve “Totality” today… let’s check in on the weather there…

Oh dear… might get sunked… :(

Reminds me of the classic Peanuts strip where Linus spent days instructing us all on how to safely experience the eclipse using a pinhole device fashioned from a couple of pieces of shirt cardboard…

Things didn’t go so well for him either…

As we clop along here, the story unfolding at breakneck speed, the Sheriff takes notice of a figure on a horse…

Yea, so much for you, Johnny… we have a bona fide celebrity in our midst…  How would it look if he died on my watch??

I have become so conditioned to story lines crawling along slowly I have to admit that I am fairly shocked that we have come upon Sheriff Strober (Stober??) the very next day…

What’s funny is that Johnny doesn’t seem to recognize him!  As if “Going to get the Sheriff” from yesterday was some abstract concept as opposed to actually knowing who the Sheriff is…  And is the Sheriff going to know who Johnny is?  With his stubble and long hair, he might just shoot first and ask questions later, as they say…

Oh, and the constant mention of an impending tornado has transitioned from foreshadowing to annoying.  Just saying…

And here I am expecting Johnny Lone Elk to engage with the bad guy and gal, both of whom Mark is leading into the Ghost Town…

Instead he’s “doubling back” (code words for “getting the hell out of there”) and getting the Sheriff…  Oh, OK, I suppose…  He’s not Mark, doesn’t have the vigilante in his blood, has no weapons, and well, didn’t bargain for any of this…

And unless the Sheriff went in entirely the wrong direction, or there a multiple ways to get to the “ghost town,” they should cross paths anyway.

Right you are George!  Well, how foolish of me to have counted Ol’ Johnny Lone Elk out of the story.  True, they won’t be looking for you, will they??  The way Martin Riggs was thought to be dead and came out of nowhere in the first (and best thank you very much) Lethal Weapon…

Talk about none worse for wear!  It’s like they landed on a pillow top mattress!

I must comment again on how the traditional markers are not being observed in James Allen’s Trailverse…  If you had placed Johnny in a line up in the Dodd/Elrod days, we would have immediately assumed that he was bad- to the bone.  Long hair, stubble, we’d assume that this guy was up to no good!!  But we can’t judge a book by its cover now, can we?!

I know that over the years Mark has been known to lack empathy, but this takes it beyond the pale…  No sense in calling yourself an “Old Friend” of Mark’s when in the direst of circumstances he simply writes you off…  Sort of like that scene in Austin Powers when Mustafa (played by Will Ferrell- ha!) falls victim to the tipping chair that throws you into a burning pit to supposedly die and all you end up with is getting badly burned…

Pray?  Since when did you become a man of God, Mark?  Your faith lies only in your own invincibility and the fact that you have a comic strip named for you, which guarantees you about 10,000 lives…