And with only Mark’s hands tied, he can regain consciousness and, oh I don’t know… WALK or RUN away?  But Seriously, it was broad daylight, morning even, when Jeff Baucom conked Mark Trail over the head… Now it’s pitch dark.  Even if this is the solstice, (which it could not be, since just mere weeks ago Doc Davis was bitten by a fly, which would not have been part of a hatch in December…)  again, here I go over-thinking these things…

Pine Straw.  Huh.  Now there’s something that a northerner would not be familiar with.  I know I would not be if’n I hadn’t spent so much time in the Atlanta area on assignments… it’s what they use for garden mulch.  I assume it’s a matter of gathering up the needle drop that occurs naturally with certain species of pine, bailing it and selling it to people in the suburbs… And, well, bless Jeff’s heart, maybe he was brought up in the south, all proper-like, before he turned to a life of crime… or maybe he did time on a prison work detail that mulched the gardens around the capital building.  Who knows…

But it is nice of you, Jeff Baucom, to verbalize your thoughts, so we can get a sense of what you are thinking…

What’s Jeff fixing to bury?  Mark?  The Loot?  Is he digging for worms so he can go fishing, since he’s not much for beans, sort of like Mark not being “much for talking?”  Panel one is gruesome… Jeff kneeling over Mark’s unconscious body, length of rope in his hands, Mark’s face mushed into the wooden floor, apparently landing there with the full force of his adult nature-writer body… Again, What on earth did Mark do to deserve this?  Sometimes he can walk into places unannounced and mess with people, but this time, he just happened to be taking refuge at Old Man Dunlap’s place… home of the Artifact Trove…  What’s this?  Am I actually feeling bad for him?  I suppose I am…

But here’s something strange… Jeff Baucom actually lives in or around Kennesaw, GA, (not far from Lost forest, so we are led to believe) and he is a real bad guy!!  He choked, punched and suffocated a pregnant woman…  I know.  Nice, huh?  What- did the writers comb the police blotter and come up with a name that they could use without fear of reprisal?  Why do they need last names anyway?  This guy’s name could be Skip for all we care… it’s what he DOES that drives the story.  Although names have been important in various story lines, so I suppose I should just go with it…

I got my coffee and beans, now I can hit him over the head with the butt of my revolver…  that way I can eat in peace while he is out cold…  Good lord, haven’t the writers heard of or read any of the literature regarding traumatic brain injury?  Like realizing James Bond enjoyed his martinis “shaken not stirred” only because, as a raging alcoholic, he had no choice, Mark has taken so many blows to head over the years that it might start to explain a few things…

But really Mark, you had to hear him coming, and you had at your disposal a pan of hot beans and a pot of hot coffee, either of which you could have thrown up in his face…  like with the flaming logs of a couple of days ago, you just keep missing your chances…  and Jared grows ever closer…

Good thing Rusty is “with friends…” the writers must have realized that there was simply going to be no role for him in this story…

Time is passing quickly from strip to strip.  With every next day we see them preparing to stop, it’s another day after another night’s long march…  Then they get to stare at each other for, oh, I don’t know, at least 8 hours until the sun sets, assuming that they are true to the season and the coming Winter solstice…

Of course they run into the always available “abandoned cabin…”  How does Jeff know that it is?  Once inside we see rat and squirrel leaping from beam to beam, a what? (calendar?) hanging askew on the wall and a bad attempt at a window covering (at first blurry-eyed glance I thought it was a pair of white boxer shorts hanging from an inside laundry-line…)

We see only one pack basket, borne by Jeff, does that mean that once the canoe is resting Mark has to go back, at gunpoint, to retrieve the other?  C’mon Mark, this is getting old!!

That would be the sound of Mark getting his bell rung…  poor guy, still reverberating in panel two…  But wait, there is a lit fire in the background… what if??

OK, Jeffy- poo, Mark is not an idiot.  Maybe he’s a might dense, oblivious even, but when it comes to overcoming evil, he is unmatched.  Unless of course you compare him to characters with real super-powers… oh, ok, Jeff.  I guess a few thousand dollars’ worth of arrowheads is worth having a murder rap come down on you?  I guess that would spoil your story about Mark being the thief?  Just Saying…

I guess leading a life of crime means never being able to sleep soundly… always one eye open and a finger on the trigger… So despite Mark’s catlike approach, Jeff uses the same medicine on Mark that Mark used on Frankie to get out of Big Mike’s Cooler… remember??  But what exactly was Mark fixing to do in the second panel?  Give Jeff a “Goose?”  Tag you’re it?  I guess he was going for the gun, but I think jabbing a flaming log into his eyes or dousing him with the hot coffee in the pot by the fire might have been more effective…

So now that Mark is Jeff’s bitch, where does this go?  Can mark recover from the dreaded crab-kick?  Tell us this isn’t over before it even started…

I know it’s wrong to over think these things or even try to anticipate what is going to happen, but it occurs to me that Jared did not leave to go get the sheriff, he left to catch up with Jeff and Mark…  Mark, you are about to be outnumbered.  If you are going to make a move, it had better be now.  Seeing the clenched fist and the slumbering baddie in panel three, one can only assume that we are close to an altercation.  Why Jeff did not bring a pair of handcuffs (more bondage!) to restrain mark while he rests is a mystery to me…

But there sits Dr. Davis, ankle up, requisite makeshift cane at the ready.  He still has faith in the Trail, and has upped the ante!  Predicting that Mark will return with the stolen artifacts…

Oh my goodness. Look at glowering face she is making in panel three…  yikes.  In all the times that Mark has disappointed her, she has never once looked that angry…

What is it about Senior Citizens and trust?  Why is Dunlap such an easy “Mark?” (Ha!  Get it? Mark? Mark Trail… That’s a joke, son…) Is there a connection with evolution?  Physiology?  Oxytocin? But there stands Mr. Dunlap, simply unable to tell good from bad intent.  Determined to tell the world about everything he does- “I have a collection!  Want to see my museum?  I make my own syrup!”  Not realizing that he is exposing himself to those who would take advantage of him…

Jared isn’t sure what his next move is… he is after all, playing the victim here, even though he is, in reality, the perp… But old Mr. Dunlap is actually buying it!  Or at least considering it… and all he can think about is his life’s work gone… Gone!  Andy seems to have recovered his equanimity.  Smiling and panting, that’s one of his better skills…

So as old Mr. Dunlap slumps over his now empty arrowhead display case, it’s up to Cherry… to bring Jeff ‘n’ Jared to Justice and clear her man’s good name… And all they wanted to do was go canoeing, do a little fishing and camping, and they walk into this mess… what mischief the fates bring upon Mark Trail, and with him, his family…

And WILL NOT stand idly by while his good name is besmirched!  A stunner!  Cherry Throws the first punch!  Well, an open hand to the face, but still… Take THAT you no-good-nick!  I absolutely love the exclamation marks that are shooting out of her head in panel one!  Oh, the writers are taking this one to the limits!!

erry would do this in the face of all that Mark DOESN’T <ahem> do for her, it’s a testament to her character and how much she loves and respects her man.  Inspiring, really… leaves me kind of speechless!

But then again, where IS Rusty??

Yup.  Gone.  Except for that ratty rug and a few pieces of pottery… and in case anyone besides me was wondering whether there is any truth to any of this, pottery was a big part of Native American, pre-Columbian culture…  But enough with the history lesson.  We have a robbery, a sad old man, and a framed Nature Writer to worry about.  And in case you think I am referencing Dunlap’s sad face, look at Andy!  Oh, the indignity!! Sitting there with his muzzle bound!

“Yea, see, it was that MARK TRAIL who done it… Held us at gunpoint, see, and made Jeff tie me up… yea, that’s it…”  Cherry is expressing shock in the time honored way that any female comic strip character does- right hand to her bosom, as if needing to catch her breath after being shocked by terrible and unexpected news…  But I repeat- why would Mark have to tie up HIS OWN DOG???  Ths is so stupid it boggles the mind.  Let’s hope the Davises and Mr. Dulap see through this in a North-woods minute…  Meanwhile, Mark is being held hostage by the real villain, sleeping with his finger on the hair trigger!

That’s right, Slim, I mean Jeff, Mark ain’t “much for words,” that is unless he is all alone and has to verbalize his every thought so that we know what’s going on in the Trail-brain… And Cherry, the dutiful daughter, bringing her hobbled dad breakfast in bed.  How nice.

But back to the get-away.  Does Jeff think he can actually sleep and keep Mark in check?  This is going to become a test of who sleeps/ blinks first, right?  Or Mark “dozes off” and waits to hear Jeff snore, then turns the tables?  Meanwhile the weight of law enforcement come raining down?  Is Mr. Dunlap going to fall for the “Mark Trail is a really bad man who tied me (and his own dog) up and took all your Indian stuff?”

My heart goes out to the people that have to come up with one contrived story after another, but this one is making the “Johnny (rotten) Walker and the Senator” story look truly inspired…

Only one of them doused in real “great on flapjacks” maple syrup?  Good think Mark sleeps with his clothes on, otherwise he wouldn’t have been in such a ready position out “help out” with the robbery…  So now what’s the story?  Mark rustles both men out of their tent, ties one of them up and forces the other to help him steal stuff, all at the point of a –what?- fishing pole?  A snarling St. Bernard?  This is getting more convoluted by the minute…

As they prepare to make their getaway (in a canoe!) I can only fear most for the artifacts that may all be lost to the muddy lakebed, by the time this all sorts itself out…  let’s hope that the pack baskets (really… this is a new concept for me) have a secure lid to prevent the arrowheads from dispersing…  But it would seem that I am (again) late to this party… the world is awash in packbaskets… who knew??  But unfortunately, they all seem to have open tops (no lids…)

Notice, too, that we have lost all formality (finally!) It’s just “Trail” now, we have dropped all this ‘Mr.’ B.S.  Mark, you have but one guy to subdue here since part of their master plan involves tying up the other and therefore taking him out of the equation.  Your Trail Brain must have picked up on that… If it takes more than the next day or two to get out of this one, I will be sorely disappointed…

No sooner do you have a gun pointed at you and you fold like a cheap tent… even with Andy the wonder-dog on your side… Poor doggy now has his muzzle bound by a kerchief…  and you are doing Jeff’s bidding by tying Jared up?  What is it with Trail, Inc.?  Bondage plays a big role in almost all their story lines that involve kidnapping and such…  Remember Rusty in the back of Rod Bassey’s Van?  The only thing missing there was the ball for the gag…

OK Mark, start with the arrowhead collection,  low bulk, high value (maybe?  Who the hell knows what the market for Indian Artifacts does with this stuff…) I still maintain that considering that there is no ready, liquid market for this stuff, Jeff will be on the street with his trench coat, opening it up to passers-by, “Hey! Psst… interest you in an arrowhead?  A Hatchet?”

Ever vigilant, Andy’s hackles are standing at attention as Jeff enters the museum, bent on mischief and plunder!  But Really?? How many times has a gun been pointed at Mark Trail over the years?  Compared to how many times the average person might find him or herself in a similar situation?  Not including law enforcement or soldiers, where you are practically guaranteed being in harm’s way, but really… a nature writer?  It would seem to happen almost on a monthly basis… when you aren’t really looking for trouble, it just finds you?  But then without the Jeff ‘n’ Jared’s of the world and Mark’s propensity to come into contact with them, we wouldn’t have much of a strip now would we??

Still not clear how Mark is going to be “used” in their little caper… and little it is, considering all they are going to be able to get away with is what they can fit into that little picnic basket, the one full of “Real Maple Syrup, the kind that is really great on flapjacks…”  Oops, sorry, it’s a BIG PACKBASKET, but oddly not THE BIG PACKBASKET, as if there are many strewn about, any one of them for the taking???  What has me laughing inside already is the visual of Jeff ‘n’ Jared making their getaway in their canoe, paddling just as fast as their arms can take them…  or are they going to steal Mr. Dunlap’s boat as well?  Let’s wait and see!

And get USED!  How the wheels of the criminal mind turn!  Rife with possibilities!  The unexpected becomes an advantage.  This is why Jared spent time in the can and Jeff stayed on the outside…  Jared ignores all safety labels and fires up inside the tent…  Yes they are inexperienced at fishing and camping, as Mr. Dunlap points out…  so quick to judge, we are!  And not to be picky… but the conjunction in the first frame should be ‘and’ and not ‘but…’ since the critical remark has little or nothing to do with whether Dunlap “knows these men” or not…

I have never seen Mark yawn before!  That is a really funny picture!  Despite the coffee being served in panel one, the Sandman is beating Mark to the punch!  Well, sleep tight, defender of the forest.  You will need all your strength to combat the forces of evil lurking just outside your door…

…and other maxims and witticisms can be found in Mark Trail’s new book, The Occasional Fisherman, or how I spent my life avoiding my family by staying in the woods… But Mark, considering how I have seen you use a bait casting rig with the reel hanging on the underside of the rod, I wouldn’t be throwing stones here…  While Andy’s robber-radar picked up on the no-goodnicks right off the bat, it’s taking Mark a little while and some strong visual clues to get the same place.  Curse Mark Trail- leave it to him to expose the phony fisherman come robbing ruse!

No, don’t check in the pack basket, Pops, you will see that we came loaded not for salmon, but for stealing!  And Cherry looks like she is all fluffed and folded in panel three.  Andy seems to be concentrating on something in the water.  Or looking away in shame at what a dimwit his master is…

Andy knows white trash when he sees it…  sort of a sixth sense…  and right now he has the stink-eye on Jeff, nestled in the crook of panel one.  Maple syrup? How random is that?!?  This Dunlap fellow is so lonely it causes him to use any prop or excuse to make conversation… “Come see my museum…”  “here’s maple syrup… great on flapjacks…”  and what’s with the butterfingers, Jared?  Do you have any idea how many gallons of sap it takes to cook down to a measly quart jar?

And what’s with the sudden rise of purple mountain’s majesty in panel two?  Are they reacting to the impending doom of the glass jar of brother maple’s life flow?  Seriously.  Panel one, nothing, panel two, bam!

Well, that makes more sense, I suppose.  But which is which??  Is the guide Jared, in the back, doing all the paddling, or Jeff in the front, doing all the talking?  Jeff is probably a more credible client: loud mouthed, complaining, not letting the guide do his job…

Really, Old Man, do you think everyone in the world wants to see “your museum?”  You have pushed this collection on anyone who happens to stumble your way, even called the newspaper about it, which is about to get you into a real mess… Considering your latest guests have given you their real names, (or at least the half of them) they are going to have to add murder to their list of misdeeds, since the last thing they want to do is GET CAUGHT again…

“Trail?  Mark Trail?  Shit, Man.  I have heard of that do-gooder,” Jeff thinks to himself, his new ‘Mr. Clean’ look making him all the wiser and more evil…

And Mr Dunlap’s name is Ed!  How nice!  Baucom and Sosbee!  What?  Did you come up with those names planning Scrabble®?  OK a quick google reveals that there are actual people with these surnames.  The fact that I have never heard of them is of little matter I suppose…  But now we are on a first name basis, so what could possible go wrong now?  It would also seem, though, that Jared has been given strict instructions from Jeff- “I will do the talking once we get there…”  So there’s Jared, in the Stern, proving all the locomotion.  I am sure he is hating this gig more and more by the hour…

Oh, Ed…  So trusting.  But what Jeff ‘n’ Jared do not realize is what else lies between them and riches!  Tension mounts!