As Mark in panel two contemplates the arc of his life (perpetually 35 years old, has never done anything except what he is doing right now, got married to ensure a roof over his head and three squares a day, tricked into becoming a step father)  he thinks of jumping off the rock face to his death as a viable option to doing Jeff’s bidding…  thinking of the peace that Johnny Walker must know, having hurtled over the edge with the angry, grazed elk, never to scheme again…

…and yet, all Mark can seem to think about is the location of “those artifacts.”  Otherwise, this whole thing will have been for naught.  Like a terrier on a bone, this guy is… even in the face of certain death, he can only think of that which is driving the plot line.  Because really, does anyone think that Mark is actually in mortal danger here?  I mean, the strip is named ‘Mark Trail’ after all… But even as we manufacture some tension, the mind still races as to how Mark gains the upper hand…  does he put the canoe up on his shoulders and then do a 360, taking Jeff out?  He can’t kill Jeff, since he knows where the loot is hidden.  Oh, such a conundrum…

Mark I’d like to keep rooting for you, but this is getting old.  What are you now, oh-for-three in trying to get the upper hand?  And all you keep getting for your trouble is a whack on the head!  Maybe Jeff would be doing you a favor by shooting you…  it’s got to be better than another rap on the noggin…

And there goes Jeff B. monologuing  again… he could have just smacked Mark again and been on his way, but no, he has to show off his superior bad-guy intellect and let Mark know that he’s not so clever after all…  But like Anakin Skywalker thinking he could take Obi Wan in the river of lava, Mark is probably thinking he still has the “upper hand” against this guy holding the high ground AND a loaded gun…

Apparently Mark has not… I mean, how much noise can a man make running along the “rocky ridge,” anyway?  And to be heard above the sounds of paddling and rushing rapids?  Remember, Mark, he has A GUN, and your only advantage, the element of surprise, has just been taken away from you.  But of course you don’t know that… Oh, this doesn’t look good.  Jeff Baucom is a professional bad guy, not like these schlubs  who cheat at fishing tournaments or poach game…

But again, let’s recap… Jeff Baucom has left his partner in crime (literally) behind to fend for himself (I mean how was Jared going to “go the authorities” anyway?)  He has buried the treasure, what he would hope to somehow monetize by what means, a week’s canoe paddle away, upstream, replete with portage opportunities… and they are somehow going to return to it and get it at some date to be determined?  Is this all part of a master plan or is he improvising?   And now he has one angry Nature Writer bearing down on him?  Gun or not, Jeff Baucom has to feel like the heat is closing in on him…

Seriously… and where is he grabbing a shave these days?  As Mark’s supersonic hearing detects the faint strains of a waterfall, he crafts his strategy to intercept Jeff at the Portage… And off he goes, skipping along the sheer rock face like a mountain goat!!

I could be wrong, but Ruffed Grouse, featured in panel three, are not native to the Appalachian Forest, but rather prefer open grasslands… is it Rusty’s spirit come calling?  Remember how he was buried in a shallow grave earlier in this series?

I can see it now… Mark takes the high ground and overcomes Jeff with his surprise attack.  Surprise because how in the world would Jeff have figured Mark to be on his trail? (Ha! Get it?!?)  I mean, he left Mark for Dead, after all, hands tied…

I am sure that Jeff would be interested in knowing that he is heading “for Bent River.”  Just in case anyone is wondering, (I was) the only hits I get on the Google for “Bent River” is a Brewery in Mankato MN, and a couple of street names in GA.  But here we are, Mark has neither slept nor eaten well in days… yet his tracking skills are still razor sharp.  To quote Princess Buttercup, I am sure that Mark could “track a falcon on a cloudy day.” Whatever that means…

We need to return to the scene of the crime though.  What are all the rest up to?  Is Mr. Dunlap still disconsolate?  Muttering declarative statements (“I skin squirrels and make coats out the pelts!) Have they gone to the authorities?  Where is Rusty?  Who is feeding the horses back at Lost Forest?  So many questions so few answers…

…but soft, what hangest so opportunistically from yonder birch?  It’s the always available sharp edge necessary for Mark to free his fists of steel, so he can go after Jeff and bring him down.  Like I said, this is always way too easy.  “I will leave my nemesis in an overly elaborate, escapable situation and assume that it will all just go to plan… what? why do you question my evil wisdom?”

Judging by the knot that Mark is cutting through Jeff has skills.  That appears to be a perfect square knot, which unless you know what you are doing can end up granny style and not very stout.  I hope Mark takes that into consideration as he heads out in search of his quarry.

And thanks, TrailCo, for not interrupting the story on Christmas day… I am not sure I could have taken a day off from this riveting sequence… Sundays are almost more than I can stand…

I can almost hear the Dr. Evil voice coming out of Jeff… This is all so Dr. Evil anyway, with Mark being left in an easily escapable and overly elaborate “trap.”  Of course in panel three Mark looks like he just woke up from a heavy night of drinking, except he doesn’t do that, right?  At least I don’t think he drinks anything stronger than coffee…

I swear we have seen more canoe portaging in this story than at any time in the history of the funny pages…  if nothing else, we all have a good dose of what high adventure with canoe looks like- it’s hard work!!  So if you are into that, have at it, but now you know…

Question is whether Jeff left Mark his share of the beans?  Although, left unattended I am sure they burned to a crisp, then as the fire went cold, solidified into an inedible mass… yuck.  Reconstitute with water?  Probably not worth the effort.

Again, thanks to everyone vocalizing their thoughts.  At least we don’t have to be left wondering what is being thought or planned.  This is still the silliest “caper” ever devised.  All they have accomplished so far is to break an old man’s heart…

And with only Mark’s hands tied, he can regain consciousness and, oh I don’t know… WALK or RUN away?  But Seriously, it was broad daylight, morning even, when Jeff Baucom conked Mark Trail over the head… Now it’s pitch dark.  Even if this is the solstice, (which it could not be, since just mere weeks ago Doc Davis was bitten by a fly, which would not have been part of a hatch in December…)  again, here I go over-thinking these things…

Pine Straw.  Huh.  Now there’s something that a northerner would not be familiar with.  I know I would not be if’n I hadn’t spent so much time in the Atlanta area on assignments… it’s what they use for garden mulch.  I assume it’s a matter of gathering up the needle drop that occurs naturally with certain species of pine, bailing it and selling it to people in the suburbs… And, well, bless Jeff’s heart, maybe he was brought up in the south, all proper-like, before he turned to a life of crime… or maybe he did time on a prison work detail that mulched the gardens around the capital building.  Who knows…

But it is nice of you, Jeff Baucom, to verbalize your thoughts, so we can get a sense of what you are thinking…

What’s Jeff fixing to bury?  Mark?  The Loot?  Is he digging for worms so he can go fishing, since he’s not much for beans, sort of like Mark not being “much for talking?”  Panel one is gruesome… Jeff kneeling over Mark’s unconscious body, length of rope in his hands, Mark’s face mushed into the wooden floor, apparently landing there with the full force of his adult nature-writer body… Again, What on earth did Mark do to deserve this?  Sometimes he can walk into places unannounced and mess with people, but this time, he just happened to be taking refuge at Old Man Dunlap’s place… home of the Artifact Trove…  What’s this?  Am I actually feeling bad for him?  I suppose I am…

But here’s something strange… Jeff Baucom actually lives in or around Kennesaw, GA, (not far from Lost forest, so we are led to believe) and he is a real bad guy!!  He choked, punched and suffocated a pregnant woman…  I know.  Nice, huh?  What- did the writers comb the police blotter and come up with a name that they could use without fear of reprisal?  Why do they need last names anyway?  This guy’s name could be Skip for all we care… it’s what he DOES that drives the story.  Although names have been important in various story lines, so I suppose I should just go with it…

I got my coffee and beans, now I can hit him over the head with the butt of my revolver…  that way I can eat in peace while he is out cold…  Good lord, haven’t the writers heard of or read any of the literature regarding traumatic brain injury?  Like realizing James Bond enjoyed his martinis “shaken not stirred” only because, as a raging alcoholic, he had no choice, Mark has taken so many blows to head over the years that it might start to explain a few things…

But really Mark, you had to hear him coming, and you had at your disposal a pan of hot beans and a pot of hot coffee, either of which you could have thrown up in his face…  like with the flaming logs of a couple of days ago, you just keep missing your chances…  and Jared grows ever closer…

Good thing Rusty is “with friends…” the writers must have realized that there was simply going to be no role for him in this story…

Time is passing quickly from strip to strip.  With every next day we see them preparing to stop, it’s another day after another night’s long march…  Then they get to stare at each other for, oh, I don’t know, at least 8 hours until the sun sets, assuming that they are true to the season and the coming Winter solstice…

Of course they run into the always available “abandoned cabin…”  How does Jeff know that it is?  Once inside we see rat and squirrel leaping from beam to beam, a what? (calendar?) hanging askew on the wall and a bad attempt at a window covering (at first blurry-eyed glance I thought it was a pair of white boxer shorts hanging from an inside laundry-line…)

We see only one pack basket, borne by Jeff, does that mean that once the canoe is resting Mark has to go back, at gunpoint, to retrieve the other?  C’mon Mark, this is getting old!!

That would be the sound of Mark getting his bell rung…  poor guy, still reverberating in panel two…  But wait, there is a lit fire in the background… what if??

OK, Jeffy- poo, Mark is not an idiot.  Maybe he’s a might dense, oblivious even, but when it comes to overcoming evil, he is unmatched.  Unless of course you compare him to characters with real super-powers… oh, ok, Jeff.  I guess a few thousand dollars’ worth of arrowheads is worth having a murder rap come down on you?  I guess that would spoil your story about Mark being the thief?  Just Saying…

I guess leading a life of crime means never being able to sleep soundly… always one eye open and a finger on the trigger… So despite Mark’s catlike approach, Jeff uses the same medicine on Mark that Mark used on Frankie to get out of Big Mike’s Cooler… remember??  But what exactly was Mark fixing to do in the second panel?  Give Jeff a “Goose?”  Tag you’re it?  I guess he was going for the gun, but I think jabbing a flaming log into his eyes or dousing him with the hot coffee in the pot by the fire might have been more effective…

So now that Mark is Jeff’s bitch, where does this go?  Can mark recover from the dreaded crab-kick?  Tell us this isn’t over before it even started…

I know it’s wrong to over think these things or even try to anticipate what is going to happen, but it occurs to me that Jared did not leave to go get the sheriff, he left to catch up with Jeff and Mark…  Mark, you are about to be outnumbered.  If you are going to make a move, it had better be now.  Seeing the clenched fist and the slumbering baddie in panel three, one can only assume that we are close to an altercation.  Why Jeff did not bring a pair of handcuffs (more bondage!) to restrain mark while he rests is a mystery to me…

But there sits Dr. Davis, ankle up, requisite makeshift cane at the ready.  He still has faith in the Trail, and has upped the ante!  Predicting that Mark will return with the stolen artifacts…

Oh my goodness. Look at glowering face she is making in panel three…  yikes.  In all the times that Mark has disappointed her, she has never once looked that angry…

What is it about Senior Citizens and trust?  Why is Dunlap such an easy “Mark?” (Ha!  Get it? Mark? Mark Trail… That’s a joke, son…) Is there a connection with evolution?  Physiology?  Oxytocin? But there stands Mr. Dunlap, simply unable to tell good from bad intent.  Determined to tell the world about everything he does- “I have a collection!  Want to see my museum?  I make my own syrup!”  Not realizing that he is exposing himself to those who would take advantage of him…

Jared isn’t sure what his next move is… he is after all, playing the victim here, even though he is, in reality, the perp… But old Mr. Dunlap is actually buying it!  Or at least considering it… and all he can think about is his life’s work gone… Gone!  Andy seems to have recovered his equanimity.  Smiling and panting, that’s one of his better skills…

So as old Mr. Dunlap slumps over his now empty arrowhead display case, it’s up to Cherry… to bring Jeff ‘n’ Jared to Justice and clear her man’s good name… And all they wanted to do was go canoeing, do a little fishing and camping, and they walk into this mess… what mischief the fates bring upon Mark Trail, and with him, his family…

And WILL NOT stand idly by while his good name is besmirched!  A stunner!  Cherry Throws the first punch!  Well, an open hand to the face, but still… Take THAT you no-good-nick!  I absolutely love the exclamation marks that are shooting out of her head in panel one!  Oh, the writers are taking this one to the limits!!

erry would do this in the face of all that Mark DOESN’T <ahem> do for her, it’s a testament to her character and how much she loves and respects her man.  Inspiring, really… leaves me kind of speechless!

But then again, where IS Rusty??

Yup.  Gone.  Except for that ratty rug and a few pieces of pottery… and in case anyone besides me was wondering whether there is any truth to any of this, pottery was a big part of Native American, pre-Columbian culture…  But enough with the history lesson.  We have a robbery, a sad old man, and a framed Nature Writer to worry about.  And in case you think I am referencing Dunlap’s sad face, look at Andy!  Oh, the indignity!! Sitting there with his muzzle bound!

“Yea, see, it was that MARK TRAIL who done it… Held us at gunpoint, see, and made Jeff tie me up… yea, that’s it…”  Cherry is expressing shock in the time honored way that any female comic strip character does- right hand to her bosom, as if needing to catch her breath after being shocked by terrible and unexpected news…  But I repeat- why would Mark have to tie up HIS OWN DOG???  Ths is so stupid it boggles the mind.  Let’s hope the Davises and Mr. Dulap see through this in a North-woods minute…  Meanwhile, Mark is being held hostage by the real villain, sleeping with his finger on the hair trigger!

That’s right, Slim, I mean Jeff, Mark ain’t “much for words,” that is unless he is all alone and has to verbalize his every thought so that we know what’s going on in the Trail-brain… And Cherry, the dutiful daughter, bringing her hobbled dad breakfast in bed.  How nice.

But back to the get-away.  Does Jeff think he can actually sleep and keep Mark in check?  This is going to become a test of who sleeps/ blinks first, right?  Or Mark “dozes off” and waits to hear Jeff snore, then turns the tables?  Meanwhile the weight of law enforcement come raining down?  Is Mr. Dunlap going to fall for the “Mark Trail is a really bad man who tied me (and his own dog) up and took all your Indian stuff?”

My heart goes out to the people that have to come up with one contrived story after another, but this one is making the “Johnny (rotten) Walker and the Senator” story look truly inspired…

Only one of them doused in real “great on flapjacks” maple syrup?  Good think Mark sleeps with his clothes on, otherwise he wouldn’t have been in such a ready position out “help out” with the robbery…  So now what’s the story?  Mark rustles both men out of their tent, ties one of them up and forces the other to help him steal stuff, all at the point of a –what?- fishing pole?  A snarling St. Bernard?  This is getting more convoluted by the minute…

As they prepare to make their getaway (in a canoe!) I can only fear most for the artifacts that may all be lost to the muddy lakebed, by the time this all sorts itself out…  let’s hope that the pack baskets (really… this is a new concept for me) have a secure lid to prevent the arrowheads from dispersing…  But it would seem that I am (again) late to this party… the world is awash in packbaskets… who knew??  But unfortunately, they all seem to have open tops (no lids…)

Notice, too, that we have lost all formality (finally!) It’s just “Trail” now, we have dropped all this ‘Mr.’ B.S.  Mark, you have but one guy to subdue here since part of their master plan involves tying up the other and therefore taking him out of the equation.  Your Trail Brain must have picked up on that… If it takes more than the next day or two to get out of this one, I will be sorely disappointed…