I know that the old Box-o-64 from Crayola had a color “Flesh” in it, and we certainly know that’s wrong by any measure, but the colorists would do well to find one of those and apply it to these characters!  That would be “peachy…”

Good heavens, he’s a malcontent isn’t he?  But by the look on Rusty’s face he sure has it for Marnie!  You can almost see the little hearts popping around his head.  Not since his heart was broken by the lovely Mara in the Ancient Artifact adventure, the girl/woman of indiscernible age, he has been pining ever since…

Sorry Campers!  It’s been a wild ride on the Stagecoach the last couple of days!

I see that Cherry entered in to offer words of wisdom- “Mark, don’t ‘F’ this up, OK?”  Oh, and I see the Producer/ Girlfriend has a name!!  Marnie!  That’s nice!

Cut to the dock… Where Cartwright continues to display absolute disdain for his hosts- “Kid”  again with “Kid.”  Never thought I would defend Rusty, but, hey, Jerkwad, he has a name!!  It’s Rusty!  But wait, there’s more!

You need a filter, sir!  On that Pie-hole!!  Do you not realize (or care, I suppose) that Rusty’s biological father was a raging alcoholic that beat him and his mom?  Do you even know ‘thing one’ about the man you are going to play on the big screen?  What a rube!

We are skipping through the space-time continuum in a way that is almost jarring…  A suggested lunch apparently is served and unappreciated, only to leave the hosts disappointed in the guest’s bad behavior…

I honestly don’t remember Lost Forest being a lake-front property, but hey, why not…  If there’s a lake, why not build right up next to it.  So does this mean that Rusty is taking Cartwright on the “Grand Tour” of the grounds?  I am sure that’s going well…  And where in the name of All That’s Good is Doc?  Has he been slaughtered, hooked and smoked?  At a retired Vet’s convention?  Haven’t seen his craggy face in a long time!

And suddenly we find ourselves out in the Parking lot…

What difference does that make, Cherry?  Boy, you are nosy!

A local hotel?  By the look on his face, Action Boy ain’t buyin’ it!  I guess one can’t be too careful what with the paparazzi and stalkers about!  To bad you are in that ridiculous stretch limousine.  That doesn’t draw attention at all!

Lunch?  Luncheon?  How exceedingly proper… no chance of anyone getting drunk and rowdy or overstaying their welcome!

Rusty show you around?!  Really?  I suppose he spends more time there than anyone except Doc, speaking of whom, where is the old codger?  He seems to have been strategically left out of this story line so far…

Again with the “Mr. Trail…”

“Exciting for the Local People…” what a dick!  Probably something you might think, but oh yea… there are few to no inner monologues in Mark Trail!!

And Enter Rusty… all Gob-smacked and Starry-eyed…

He told you his name, you asshole… but still you go with the always available and condescending “Kid…”  Looking over his shoulder as if already walking away.  Nice work, artist in residence.

… and where are they?  Some random Ballroom at a Downtown Marriott?

Once again (and I sense that we have another Allen-replacement tryout in the making…) Mark doesn’t even look like himself!!

…until he does again.  Clip art?  But, ummm… Mark didn’t write the film…  As we (or Joe Soucheray) would say, “Reporting isn’t what it used to be…”

Just as we are focusing on the Hollywoods, a Bighorn Sheep takes front stage…  Not unusual, except for the fact that the state of Georgia, the location of Lost Forest, remember, is not exactly in the species’ natural range…

…only to have it sacrificed on the alter of the favorite story type for Trailians everywhere!  Poaching!

Oh my!  Bighorn down!  And who is this guy?  Clearly up to no good!  He’s not even very good at picking assistants with henchman-like names- “Digby!”  Ha!

Although he does look like a Digby…  And thanks Bald Guy in Charge for establishing that you are breaking the law!!  We’d certainly be lost without that data point…  Is that a hacksaw in hand?  Is that still the preferred method of de-horning a Bighorn?

Strap in, Campers!  Classic Mark Trail Cheese (served up with Ritz Crackers) on the horizon!!

Oh Mark, always the voice of reason, always the sober one…  I mean, have you EVER taken a drink?  Not that it matters of course… Enter the stretch with the ridiculous wheels and low profile tires… complete with Hollywood Action Hero Jeremy Cartwright!

Cue the Girlfriend/ Producer!  Blonde, of course, and expression as vacant as the face of Cutter’s Bluff!

“Mr.” Trail!  Twice!!  This is hilarious!  What makes Mar Trail “tick?”  Figure that one out and you will have solved one of the greatest mysteries of all time!!  Notice too, how Jeremy’s head blends into the vehicle interior!  Sort of like that Pirates of the Caribbean movie where the pirates had all started to become the ship!

Oh, Mark, you selfless hunk, always thinking ahead and of others…

Cherry is about to take the news well…

…yes, just think, you can finally earn your keep, Mark.  You have been freeloading for decades now and finally your ship is coming in!

…”one of your stories…”  How cute is that?  Out of the words of foundlings comes the truth!  Mark tells stories!  Based loosely on the “facts” that he scrounges up while on assignment, only to come home saying, “Dang, I wish I had bothered to take some pictures and jot down a few notes…”

How does Rusty know about Jeremy Cartwright?  Do they go to movies?  I don’t see a satellite dish on the cabin roof…  Perhaps he streams the films on his phone?  And how do we know that Mark is going to have an actual part/role in this feature?  I suppose it wouldn’t be the first time a writer/academic (read Indiana Jones) got into a scrape or two…

Can’t wait to see “Miss Spencer…”  And the only other “Cartwrights” I have known is from the show “Bonanza” where the family owned most of (probably) Montana and Wyoming…

Ah, the court of public opinion in the age of Social Media.  Say or do one bad thing and you are CANCELED!

As opposed what?  An advance team from a film shoot just showing up at Mark’s doorstep?  That’s mighty big of you, Bill Ellis!!

As for James Allen leaving the strip, we shall have to keep an open mind.  Clearly all the artistic tryouts over the last months were epic fails, at least in the tradition of Elrod and Dodd…  But as we said many times, it’s the writing that had suffered so, and the interminably long story arcs the most frustrating aspect.  Not saying that the art is easy, but the world is full of talent.  Not sure what this asset is worth to The Syndicate, but perhaps throwing a little more money at it (finding an artist and a writer…) would yield more positive results.

As we get to now re-live the story, first spoken aloud by Bill Ellis to himself, now spoken to Mark Trail complete with his pithy reactions, we must ask the question, Why would you need anyone’s permission to do a movie about Human Trafficking?  

It’s not like the publisher of Woods and Wildlife magazine would suddenly wake up and say, “Hey, that’s our story!!”  But I suppose that this allows for a new chapter in the Mark Trail Story- Mark as expert… Oh wait, he plays that all the time…

But who is the lead?  Is it the Mark Trail/ Nature Writer character or the Chubby Academic?  I recall that there was a bit of a siren involved- Carina!  Prof Gabe’s erstwhile assistant…  Who got less handsome and more siren-like as the story unfolded…

Squirrel in the foreground, random voices coming out of the woods alerting Mark that his phone is ringing… Mark spending time with his best friend Andy…

“It’s probably Bill Ellis?”  Is he the only one who calls you?  I love the fact that we are bridging old with new… back in the day it would have been “Mark, the phone is ringing…”  But now everyone has their own phone… a far cry from the party line…

Oh, Mark… such a wag you are.  You’ll never forgive Bill Ellis for sending you on that wild Yeti chase…  the one that cost Harvey Camel his life… Oh, you tell it, Bill Ellis!

… and it ain’t Mark.  Signed the deal without even getting Mark’s input?

Return to Bill Ellis talking to himself, explaining to himself what he, Bill Ellis, is fixing to do…  What’s he like off-camera?  “Hmmm,” Bill Ellis declares aloud to himself, “That Chimichanga I had for lunch isn’t sitting too well, I think I will soon have to avail myself of the private lavatory in my CEO-Suite… I will have to give the cleaning crew a heads-up to stay out of there for a while…”

As Editor Bill Ellis (white guy, first panel) continues to prattle on, to himself, apparently, we see the continued over-use of the word “that.”  I have never seen the like of it!  And how much effort and ink would it have cost to draw in an assistant, someone for Bill to talk to?  And now that he has told all of us what is going down, he still has to call Mark and repeat himself!  Or is he actually on the phone (right hand, first panel) and talking to Mark right now?

What?  Kind of Johnny Depp bad?  Alcohol, drugs, out of control binges?  What constitutes a “Bad Reputation” in the Trailverse?  I can’t wait to see how this manifests!

Sure why not?  Why wouldn’t Mark receive a prestigious award?   But the Dodd Award?  It appears to not be a thing…  And what better option do we have than to revisit an old story line that introduced tedium in our time?  Not to mention that Mark would have had to be clairvoyant to know that is little trip with Professor Gabe into the caves would somehow come full circle to include his trip to investigate Aztec ruins and Dr. Carter’s  use of LIDAR, but then Mark was probably busy and never goat around to writing the White Nose piece until after his brush with the traffickers…   But I digress…

Bill, are you talking to yourself?  Are you the only one in the office? It would seem that the magazine industry is such that you probably had to lay everyone else off… Now you get to play all the roles, even to the point of being your own errand-boy and sounding board!

Marne Spencer…  Enter the Siren!  Who seems to have a Thing (already) for Mark… And that Action Hero, Jeremy Cartwright, who hasn’t heard of him?  Who has, no doubt, wanted to play the role of MARK TRAIL his entire life!!

Who owns the rights to Mark’s stories?  That’s the real question here…