Yeah… especially when it’s cooked for you…

Really, Mark, don’t you think these shallow compliments and offers of empty praise haven’t worn a bit thin over the years?  I think it would be sporting of you and Rusty to hop up  and offer to do the dishes… but I won’t hold my breath.

content01312017

Let’s see how much longer it will take before this idyllic scene is shattered by the sound of Mark’s phone going off… sending him away on another assignment!  We can only hope for such things.   We can only hope that there are interesting characters and an actual plot line that will resolve in 60-90 days…  but, again, I won’t hold my breath…

Ha! Nailed it!

Flapjacks it is!  But Pancakes Flambe?

content01302017

Chery’s looking a sleepy eyed… but boy oh boy… is there anything sexier that Cherry Davis Trail with a big plate of perfectly cooked pancakes??

And what the Hell is up with Rusty?  Good lord, he’s looking damaged today… more and more like that Banjo Savant from the movie Deliverance… Oh be kind, though… he doesn’t get out much, and his alcoholic father probably beat him regularly…

Flapjacks!

And Still…

content01262017

…more nature…

content01272017

…some of it out definitely out of range and habitat… but at least we are finally greeted (after a week) with the stirring of human voices…

content01282017

And who do you suppose is cooking breakfast?  Cherry of course, lest we disturb time honored and tested roles… Not to say that men don’t cook, but that’s not the way in the Trailverse.  But poor little baby mouse, running after momma in panel two of today’s strip… he’ll never see her again…

And what’s with all the reference to “still, stagnant, and static air?”  Hmmm I wonder… guessing that Mr. Allen got out his thesaurus and was also reminded that alliteration is an effective device…  Or is this a setup for crushing Rusty’s ideas- “Hey, Mark, want to go sailing?”  “Sorry Rusty, the air is still, stagnant and static today… guess we’ll have to pass on that idea…”

Still here…

Just waiting…

content01232017

…for something…

content01242017

…to happen.

content01252017

Although I wasn’t aware that Beavers were eligible for glass prosthetic eyes… Lost Forest must have quite the benefits package… either that or Doc has been experimenting somewhere between “catch” and “release…”

You mean like the comments posted here?

Poor Mark!!  Imagine people on the internet being snide and sarcastic!  That never happens!

content01212017

And we are certainly getting our fill of Nature this week!  B-roll of all manner of Fauna and Fowl… hmmm… makes me wonder what’s for dinner…

My how time flies…

It takes six months to burn through an afternoon in Hawaii, but in the space of three days, Mark has written his article, Bill has edited the article, put it in the very next issue of Woods and Wildlife Magazine, the issue went to the printers, hit the newsstands and mailboxes of faithful readers who apparently took the time to write the magazine and tell them how much they loved it!  My head is spinning.

content01202017

But how sad Mark looks at the prospect of being an on-line phenom…  Cherry is stricken… as if the Internet is full of trolls (ok, it is…) but that they would all sharpen their forks and knives for Mark!  Poor Mark, he’s only known approbation in his sheltered life, he only hears how great he is!  Now his flanks are exposed to the global zeitgeist!  How will humanity respond?  With a yawn, I’d reckon… I mean, really?  What it takes to have a breakthrough, to go even moderately viral, is staggering… or just being lucky, or filling the frame with kittens and puppies…  but who knows, maybe Mark will be a hit there, too…

Why do all the characters have Eugene Levy eyebrows?

Seriously.  I just noticed the resemblance… Sure, you all know who I am talking about, right?  Eugene Levy, Actor, Writer, Producer, recently of the comedy serial “Up Schitt’s Creek?” Perhaps most famous for his early days on SCTV, the “American Pie” franchise, and the guy with (literally) two left feet in “Best in Show.”  Anyway… eyebrows.  Even Doc’s are prominent and jet-black…

content01192018

So it’s come to this, campers… 50 words on eyebrows.  That’s all I got…

Milking it…

Doc, having now been subjected to rounds and rounds of aimless prattling by Mark about the Red Imported Fire Ant Story that got away, must surely be thinking “When is this going to end?  it was so quiet around here… and now he’s back…” And Mark, you need to give up on the notion that the island “exploded…”  It’s not quite accurate…

content01182017

And Poor Cherry, standing there wondering how they are going to pay off the credit card bill from their Hawaiian vacation, is anxious for Mark to turn in the story on “Surviving the Eruption” so he can get paid…  Mark must be one hell of a fast writer to expect that he’s already pounded that one out…

Yea, while Doc sits at home dealing with noxious gases from another source…

… like the back-end of the always-enthusiastic large breed canine…  Andy the St. Bernard… But of course, Doc is taking the words right out of our mouths… as we too were wondering how Mark and Abbey escaped that certain doom, unlike any other mere mortals caught in the midst of a major eruption… Not to mention jumping 100 feet into the ocean…

content01172017

But here we are back at the dining room table at Lost Forest… a comforting and familiar scene, cups of black coffee, the Bunn Commercial coffee maker off camera, with water always kept at brewing temperature, since they drink this stuff by the pot-full…

The last panel shows Cherry poking her head in from the kitchen, where she is cleaning up after the meal, while the men sit on their usesless arses and discuss weighty matters… Yes, Campers, time stands still at Lost Forest…

Oh Mark, just leave it alone, OK?

Assuming you had ample opportunity to tell whoever was willing to listen to you on the Island all about the exploding atoll, I think you can stop calling out the fact that you survived yet another life threatening encounter with Nature…  You’d best get busy writing that story, Mark!

content01162017

And the look on Cherry’s face suggests that she’s heard quite enough if it too!

So here we are back in the mountains of North Georgia, awaiting the next plot twist…  let’s hope that it involves an actual villain… heck I’d even settle for an old-fashioned poaching yarn at this point…  but suffice to say this is the last entry I will make in the “Honey and Darling” category.  It’s been with us since June of last year!!  Ugh!

And what might THAT look like??

Not sure I even want to go there… How would Mark & Cherry enjoy a vacation?  Let’s hope we don’t have to witness that… let’s hope we fast forward to Lost Forest where they will be reunited with the Foundling and the Father-in-Law…

content01142017

Yes Mark, you are… and I am sure that you aren’t even channeling Emerson, Lake and Palmer

Oh look, Mark is hurt now…

OK, he’s new at the comedy thing, and it shows.  So lighten up, dude.  I’m pretty sure that Bill Ellis knows that you didn’t blow up an island…

content01132017

My wife?  huh?  Really?  You mean you don’t have an assignment for me.. like right now?  C’mon, Bill you’ve always come through for me in the past…

Speaking of assignments, I wonder whether Mark is actually on the payroll of Woods and Wildlife Magazine or if he is a “contractor…”  Considering he ONLY writes for W&W, that Bill Ellis gives him work direction, reimburses all expenses, he had better be, otherwise Ol’ W&W or its parent company could be in a lot of deep water and have some withholding tax to pay…  like 60 years’ worth!

This is turning into a regular Laurel and Hardy sketch!

Yes, back at the palatial offices of Woods and Wildlife Magazine… Bill must have a Board Meeting or something- look at how dressed up he is today!  Saks, Burberry or Brooks Brothers for sure…

content01112017

And note how stoic the pigeon is as all the raptors are closing in!

content01122017

Sorry to have skipped yesterday’s installment, campers, but I was away and couldn’t get to a computer…  anyway, the banter in these two segments is first rate…  and we can see that Mark is having fun with this…  rather than being his literal self (a volcano erupted) Mark offers up the line, “the island exploded!” Which Bill then hits out of the park with the “…you’ve blown up an island now, Mark!?” response.  Very clever.  And it would seem that Bill is still interested in what Mark has to say, and write even.

But Bill, lets be clear… when would Mark have had time to “put a story together?”  Good or otherwise?  It’s been all of 36 hours or so since you told him he couldn’t rent a boat and put it on his expense account…  And for that matter, when have we ever seen mark hunched over an Underwood No. 5 or laptop and writing anything?  I think it’s all a sham- Mark is the brand while minions crank out the words…

Bill’s Readers??

Oh, Honey… I mean Cherry, you don’t understand, do you?  These are Mark’s readers… Mark’s public.  Why, he can barely go anywhere without someone saying, “Oh!  You’re that Mark Trail?  I loved your piece on the Blind Toads of Calcutta…”  Not to be confused with the Blind Boys of Alabama

content01102017

And I am quite impressed with Mark’s new-found range of non-verbal expression… No longer the Sphinx…  bound by one or two facial tics…  but a full range of irony and, dare I say… timing.  Oh, OK, being a bit generous there, but I’m just trying to give the author half-a-hand’s worth of encouragement…  Cherry seems to be enjoying herself, anyway…

No, I really don’t think he did, Mark…

As Mark remains delusional regarding his place in the universe and the missions that he is called upon to perform, Cherry needs to seriously reevaluate her life and the commitments she has made.  Sure… Mark invited her to join him on a Hawaiian get-away, but ever since they arrived, mark has done his level best to avoid her…  and now feels compelled to call Bill Ellis to inform him that the much anticipated story on the Red Imported Fire Ant crisis in Hawaii will have to be taken down from his whiteboard- in favor of a retelling of the volcano “adventure?”

content01092017

Or judging by the look on Mark’s face, he is going for humor…  a little levity to help lighten the mood…

But really, what’s with the building in panel one… we have been seeing this for a few days now.  Is this meant to be a replica of the actual Coco Palms resort?  It looks very mid-century…

7829894_orig

I guess it is, but not a very good one…  and it would appear that there was a fire that took out the iconic arch and conch shell replica… this fire happened in 2014, and before that it was a hurricane… the resort is scheduled to be re-opened in 2017…  Could it be that Mark & Cherry are in some kind of a twilight zone adventure- moving back in Space-time to the hay-day of Elvis and Blue Hawaii??  Or is Mark so cheap he will only take Cherry to an abandoned resort?

See? Blue and Red can come together!

Blue and Red hair, that is…  Mark, the eco-liberal and Cherry, the keeper of all values traditional can find true love!  Maybe a metaphor for the coming age!  Lord knows we need a sign… any sign!

content01072017

I will say again, though… they have been apart for less than a day?  Phone call, Mark begs for boat rental (actually to have someone else pay for the boat rental,) gets denied, drives out to the chopper pad, gets ditched by Cherry, choppers out to atoll with Cal, meets up with Abbey, climbs and stumbles around, gets chased by boar and lava, jumps off cliff, gets rescued by Cal in Abbey’s boat, chopper having been destroyed, outruns the final explosions and tsunami, and returns to the resort… Honey, I’m home!  Yup, 4 or 5 hours, max.  So the Trail-time equivalent of one hour to one month continues to hold up! Which means we will be in Hawaii another 8 years!

Cherry poses the question…

…that we all want to ask.  The steady diet of natural disasters and villain inspired dangers has proven tedious at least and incredible to boot.  No one, simply based on odds, would walk into these situations time after time after time…

content01062017

So as Mark stands there mute and gob-smacked by Cherry’s intelligent question, we are all left at ask the very same thing.  On the other hand, what choice do we have?  There simply isn’t any interest in watching Mark and Cherry live their dull lives, Mark at the keyboard and Cherry doing what-all… Time for Rusty to get kidnapped again…  that hasn’t happened for a while!  There are rare times that I feel for Mr. Allen, having to keep this boat floating and heading in a direction, when it’s clear that the rudder has been disabled, the keel pulled, and the sails furled…  But as has been suggested by this forum, there are people out there who make a living writing story lines… let’s invest in one, oh mighty syndicate.

Yea, you’re like the little sister I never had…

…or wanted…

content01052017

As the camera does a complete 360 degree pan we go from Mark’s starboard to port side, catching his Brylcreemed coiffure, Pepsodent smile and kind, steely eyes…  Now if he could only remember his wife’s name!

So that’s it, Abbey!  Friend or not, you are on your own… never mind that you aren’t staying at the Coco Palms, or even if you aren’t staying on the same island!  Good luck getting back to your conference!  That’s OK… you’re a big girl and you’ll figure it out…

Aw shucks, ma’am…

…all in a day’s work…

…as Abbey transmogrifies back into a woman- curves, eyelashes and all…

content01042017

But oh no… there will be no smooching.  And that assumes that Abbey is even interested…  So as the tension dissipates, we are left to ponder the greater mysteries of the Trailverse, chief among which is… What the hell day is it, anyway?  Has the sun even set?  I don’t think it has.  At least now we know how Mark stays perpetually 32 years old.  The earth doesn’t rotate as quickly for him as it does for us- to wit- I was at the dry cleaners yesterday and received a senior discount… ugh!  Talk about your good news/bad news scenarios…

Oh, c’mon now…

Like this can’t get any more strange…

content01032017

Judging by panel two, Abby needs to go get her eyebrows done/dyed.  Never noticed this before, but her natural hair color appears to be jet-black… I guess I was never confronted with an eyes-only shot as we are today.  What other secrets does she have to reveal?  I guess we’ll find out tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow…