What’s the old saying?  Keep your powder dry?  Well, that’s probably not completely apropos here, as we are no longer in the age of muzzle-loaders, but it would seem that Sheriff Stober hasn’t done a very good job of keeping his parts oiled… or something like that…

GLITCH… is that really the sound a jamming gun makes?  What causes a gun to jam, to misfire?

According to the Internets, it’s caused by any number of reasons… including Limp Wristing!  And while that applies to handguns primarily, I think that’s funny.  It’s not the gun, Pardner… it’s YOU!!

… yup… true statement, Oh Bald One.  Mark should wear a t-shirt or a placard that states, “Where Trail Goes Trouble Follows!”  This is one of those immutable Laws of Nature.  And Baldy stepped right into it!  Like a cow-pie!

So what’s your point, then?  You can’t go back in time, you can only go forward.  And by going forward, I mean delivering the punch that you are threatening in panel two…  Not continuing to monologue while you are leaving yourself open to a bullet from Sheriff Stober.  You’ve got a clear shot now, right Sheriff?  Big Bald Dome perched on broad body just three feet off the ground at twenty or fewer paces…  what are you waiting for??

Mark Returns a right!  And has Baldy by the T-shirt ready to deliver another!

YOU’VE “had it” with HIM?  Really?  Said the kidnapper to the detainee, never mind that said detainee had MULTIPLE opportunities to turn the tables on his captor…  Or at least get clear of him…  but what’s the story in that??

Meanwhile, sheriff Stober and his peacemaker are off stage right trying to get a “clear shot” off while Mark and Baldy are a-punchin’ and a-rasslin’…  Really?  That’s the best you got?  Just shoot him in the ankle… that would put a crimp in his day…  at least the sound of a bullet winging by would probably get his attention…  All this as the funnel cloud bears down on the proceeding!  Ya’ll better fand yerselves a ditch to git into!!  Why I am suddenly typing in a hickish drawl?  Hellifiknow…

…in Allen’s Trailverse… in the first panel we see the front of Mark’s face aglow from the burning aviation fuel (or at least what’s left of it) after the explosion… but the back half of Mark’s head is in the darkness of the wall / funnel cloud.  In the Second Panel we see more a study in perspective as Mark seems to be rising from the fires in an attempt to wrest control of “the gun…”  Makes me think that Allen wishes he could render in 3-D!  Makes me also wonder what’s going on with Mark’s “Trailing” hand… (boy this never gets old, does it??) …looks to be wracked in a palsy…

Finally, the Baldy right hook finds its Mark (ha!) on the Northern Trailian Mandible, which will lead to, hopefully, full-on fisticufs in the Trail Tradition.

One thing we know by know is that James Allen loves big, block letters describing big, loud sounds.  Especially explosions.  Where Mark goes, concussions follow.  It would seem that Mark would have to enter a concussion protocol in every story line we have been subjected to since Allen took the reins, but then this is nothing new- Mark has been taking blows to his head for decades now, previously through the inevitable fist-fight…

So with pieces and parts flying everywhere, including a handgun and a bedroll full of bills, Mark and Baldy go into Justice League mode attempting to avoid the fray…  Good that the pilot bailed even if his chances were slim… they would have been none if he had stayed aboard.

But really? Do planes explode on contact?  I guess they can, and do!  Imagine those poor motorists thinking that their biggest challenge was getting around the slow-poke in the left lane!!

Of course he’s going down… in flames.

And apparently he’s really quick about getting it on and getting clear of the plane…  But what are the chances of Pony-Tail guy actually deploying his ‘chute and landing safely??

Slim to none… <click to go to source>

“All I see are props spinning.”  Indeed.

And as if on cue, as if Mark controls the heavens, a funnel cloud is dropping out of the sky!  Now this is exciting!  The plane will no doubt get caught up in the vortex and find itself and its pilot where it didn’t expect to be.  Baldy will be standing slack-jawed, wondering how his foolproof get-away has been once again made impossible.  Remember, he was the “best getaway driver in the business,” right?  Well, methinks he might have overthought this one…

And what about those landing gear?  Hmmmm…..

So leave, already, you big galut!  You have no responsibility for Baldy’s safety, do you?

And what the hell is Sheriff Stober doing off camera?  Guiding the plane in?  He probably has those magic flashlights that guide the plane into the gate, and waving them around!  A two-fer, he must be thinking- I will get the pilot and the robber too… not to mention the girl… who recently melted under the pressure and listened to reason…

Sorry Campers… Needed a few days away from the woods to sharpen my axe a little…

With a thud, the revolver falls to the ground.. and doesn’t go off!  I’m pretty sure that Mythbusters covered this topic years ago… dropped guns do NOT fire on their own…

Meanwhile Meteorologist Mark (he so bad!) is giving the local forecast…  with “Backup” from Sheriff Stober… Man, this is really inane…

..with Mr. Bad-guy-pony-tail-dyed-to-match-upholstery asking the question we have all been positing for months now…  there had to be an easier way to do this… like how about we all get on the plane at the airport and take off together, rather than adding kidnapping and false imprisonment to the rap sheet…

She is a chameleon… and has shown her many sides throughout this story line…

Right now she is playing the sympathy card and you are falling for it!  Keep those guns out and hammers cocked…  OK, that last sentence could be misconstrued, but whatever…

The Wildcard in all of this (for now at least) is Johnny “with the six-shooters” Lone Elk…  he’s been off camera for a while now, ever since going after Blondie…

Yea, shut up Trail, you are an annoyance, at best.  Learn some moves, man.  You’ve been a puppet for most of this engagement, with the exception of one spark of the Ol’ Mark… As the rain begins to fall again, we are left not with dialogue, but competing monologues- no one is interested in hearing what the other has to say.  Hmmm…  wait a minute, did I just land on something?  Did I not just sum up the state of the political world, with everyone talking past each other, trying to be heard above everyone and everything else that makes up the din?

Seems a bit improbable unless of course he had another life before “breaking bad” and hooking up with Baldy…  “Seemed like a good idea at the time, I guess…” he thought.

I read somewhere that the coloring in of the dailies is done by off-shore artists…  which might explain why Bad-Guy-Flying-Plane’s pony tail matches the upholstery of the cockpit…

The more I look at panel one, the more it reminds me of a scene from Johnny Quest.  Remember how Race Bannon, Dr. Quest, Johnny and Haji (not to forget about Bandit…) would jet around, seemingly able to land where no plane had gone before?

Not being an airplane aficionado, I attempted to determine the make and model of what is being piloted… and discovered that there are literally hundreds of manufacturers…  Wiki of course lists them all, and here is part of the listing, alphabetically of just B-Be…  If anyone can ID the plane, more power to you…

The Sheriff, that is… There are times this strip doesn’t move and then there are times that it jump-cuts to another dimension…  such as today’s installment where there would seem to be no concerns over Sheriff Stober and his long-barreled peacemaker…

This has to be the first time we ever saw Ol’ Baldy smile, too…  Fast forward to tomorrow’s (or next week’s) installment and we will see a rogue funnel cloud drop out of nowhere and take out the small plane… Whereupon Blondie races into Mark’s arms which gives him the opportunity to declare his happily married state… then onto the Ferret Fields?  One can only hope…

Oh, and on the topic of going nowhere fast, check out Judge Parker today…

Can’t hardly wait ’til tomorrow!!

…than being called, “Cop…”  “That’s Sheriff to you, Mr. Clean…  I don’t stand for re-election every 4 years to be called Cop, thank you very much…”

So with Mark held Hostage (Hey, that’s Rusty’s job!!) we are again left to ponder for a day or two how this will resolve… Hey, I know, Mark, why don’t you wheel around and take out Baldy at the knees?  Do you really think he’s going to shoot?  I don’t.  And what about you, Johnny?  You are chasing Blondie who has voluntarily taken herself out of the picture for now, posing no threat.  She can be mopped up later… You’d do better to get the drop on Baldy as his attention is now fully on Sheriff Stober.  But hey, what do I know??

Which might account for Johnny’s actions and dialogue in the third panel.  As Blondie considers her options, she is surrounded by a miasma of despair and regret that blocks out all the natural and man-made surroundings…

For students of the Trailverse, let’s also consider how the universe has been reshaped… If the third panel was placed on a placard, without dialogue, presented and the question was posed, “good guy or bad guy?”  the obvious answer would be “bad.”  Look at the markers- long hair, unshaven face, brandishing weapons in an aggressive way… Even Sheriff Stober’s sideburns would have no place on the shiny side of the old coin…  I guess we live in a much different world now, don’t we??

“Cover me!” Johnny says…  in directive fashion that may have the sheriff complying with his wish… or not… which means Johnny’s life as a “save-the-dayer” might be short lived… But boy he looks super cool brandishing  those six shooters that Sheriff Stober’s Grandfather used to use for evil purposes…  in a way faintly reminiscent of Butch and Sundance…  and don’t forget… Sheriff Stober carries a tomahawk!

…that Sheriff…

Calm and crouching, he puts a bullet right where he wants to- just above head level and into the building.  No sense in actually shooting anyone, right?   Just need to let them know who has the superior steel…

And now it’s Baldy telling people to stay clear of harm’s way?  Since when did he acquire an ounce of empathy?  Of course as Mark, invincible as ever, makes himself available for stray bullets, it’s Blondie that realizes that life is nothing but a series of choices… some good, some not so good, that land us where we happen to be at any given time.  And right now she’s wishing she’d finished Pre-Algebra in the 9th grade and didn’t leave school to wander west…

I think Blondie wasted a round when Mark was getting his punch on…

And Baldy has now fired off 3 more in what appears to be a six-shooter…  Assuming that Blondie’s gun is fully loaded, that leaves 6-4+6=8 rounds left before reloading…

So now that we are all aware of of everyone else, what prevents a Mexican Standoff?  Am I still allowed to say that?  What does it even mean??

Thank you, Google… and yes, completely on point.  I predict that the FBI will swoop in with Helicopter (maybe Cal from the Island “Adventure…”) and save the day.  Wouldn’t be the first time that the Feds have made an appearance in these “stories…”

OK!  We are finally coming to the climax!    Not that we’ll ever get to see a prairie dog or a black-footed ferret!

As if…

Looks like in panel one Sheriff Stober has mastered the art of ventriloquism…  The words come out, but the lips aren’t moving!  But in panel two the right-eye-dominant lawman has a bead on Ol’ Baldy and Blondie! I feel the end coming!  It can’t be more than a couple of weeks now, kids!!

What the – !?

And had we noticed before that Blondie is also a leftie?  A southpaw?  Depending on the source, and who knows whether a study has ever actually been done, estimates indicate a range from 10-15% of the general population that is left-handed.  Seems like my life is full of lefties, though… my wife, mom, grandpa, two cousins, two of the four people who report to me at work, not to mention my boss… and it seems that my rate of discovery is only increasing… I was in a meeting the other day with 8 people in the room and 5 were taking notes with their left hands!!  I am hopelessly right handed, for the record.

So with the tried and true “I’ve got a bad feeling about this!” Mark is now being marched at double-gunpoint to some airstrip that by pure circumstance happens to be near the ghost town…  with Sheriff and Johnny skulking about in the shadows…

I saw yesterday’s strip and had to move on…

I mean really?  I’m no Calvinist, but I really don’t need to see a full frame close-up of Sheriff Stober’s swimsuit area…  and vague references to his “pistols.”

So now that Johnny is all gunned up and ready for a shootout, Sheriff is hoping that they just roll up like a pill bug and surrender…  Not likely, though, as Baldie is itching for a fight, and it appears that he’s not going to let anyone get between him and his money…   or the money that he claims to be his…  I mean how much are we talking, really?  Assuming he has to split it among his accomplices, even if there is now one less,  there probably isn’t enough to last him past a good bender or two, at which point he’s back on the robber circuit doing this all over again…

To the comments that pop up periodically questioning the “logic,” or lack thereof, concerning the hopelessly meandering and non-sequitur quality of the plot line, I hear you.  I guess I’ve been beaten into submission and accepted that they won’t tie up, or off… unless they do in a subsequent story arc, the way that Dr. Joyce first appeared in the Mississippi Ken and Barbie adventure only to have her show up in the Badlands…  And remember, that this going-on-a-year long slog has only covered roughly two days in real time, so when you look at it that way, there is always going to be “plenty of time” to bring seemingly meaningless plot points together…