Vacation!  That’s right!  Enter Dirty Dyer!!  That has to be the plan…

Hopefully we wrap up this little Lost Forest turned Circus interlude…  With the laconic and dour Jim returned (battered but not bowed,) Marlin smiling despite all the paperwork he’ll have to complete to account for the totaled Jeep, Warden Dusty looking on in simian fashion, and the fez and vest sporting Ostrich Jockey in the tree getting ready to hurl excrement, Mark explains that he has a “Long Overdue” (read “Well Deserved”) vacation on the docket…  And looks a little disappointed about it?

But wait, has Jim’s Stick grown?

Draw, James, draw!

Because that’s about all we have going for us these days…  Mr. Allen’s ability to create reasonable representations of animals in action…  Manufactured suspense, lack of continuity and bad punchlines fill out the rest of the program.

How did Marlin get back?  What of his totaled Jeep?  Where is Jim and his pointed stick? And where on earth did the Wardens get that Hippo collar and chain?  And what’s it attached to?  That Hippo would only have to give a small shrug, and whatever is mooring that  would come apart!  We only have to go back to Africa and the Rhino Horn Caper to see this Hippo’s cousin, whom (which?) Mark dispatches with… wait for it… a flaming log!  But what about Dirty Dyer… Where is he?!

But figuratively speaking, I’ve had to deal with a lot of enraged Rhinos in my life…

OK, let’s take stock of the situation…  The Rhino is down, for now… but will awake at some point.  Marlin’s Jeep is overturned and undrivable.  Jim hasn’t been seen since he went into the thicket with his pointed stick.  And all Mark can say is “I’ll meet you two back at camp?”  What an ASS!  Seriously.  So you can what?  Tell your version of the lusty tale without the chance of anyone stepping on your glory?!

But how nice to include just a spec of color in the first frame!  For those of us living in the BOLD BORTH, where we live a constant reminder to never take spring and summer for granted, we appreciate any hint that bulbs actually flower!

As Marlin emerges from the smoldering wreck that was the Zoo-Jeep, his silhouette is vaguely reminiscent of that early 80’s classic Swamp Thing…  And Mark, why are you thinking to yourself, but then talking out loud?  Are we back to the Trail standard of the vocalized inner monologue?

But let’s get back to the REAL question:  What use would a circus have with a Rhinoceros?  They don’t socialize particularly well, and I’d be hard pressed to figure out what kind of “act” might involve one…  And in the circus, every mouth to feed has to to earn its keep, right?  I mean, this guy (or gal) would eat body weights in food-stock, and that costs money!  Not to mention just taking up space- like an entire train-car’s worth!  And where would one find or post for a Rhino-Wrangler? Monster.com?

So as Cherry tools around in her Escalade, Doc sips his coffee and Rusty still wonders where his apple infused flapjacks are, we are left to boggle at the action that just transpired and is the new norm in Mark Trail…  Even in Lost Forest, there’s nary a dull moment!

What chance would a Zebra have against a Rhino, anyway?  Hopefully they have Farmers Insurance!  Seen it, covered it…

With wheels, struts, tie rods and other linkage flying about, there’s only one man who can save us now!!  It’s Mighty Mark!!

Boy, Mark, that’s a lot to be processing inside your head all at once…  you even managed to fit some care and concern for your fellow man in there… Weird.

Jim Jim is my name and spanking Rhinos is my game…  Ha!!

THWACK!

I think someone in the comments brought up the fact that these tranquilizer darts are exactly fast-acting… This Rhino, for instance, even if Mark was able to get a shot off and place the dart perfectly, would be able to take out an entire village before it was slowed down…  So yes, Marlin, you and your Jeep are in a bad spot… Prepare to be launched!!

For pure comic relief check out the effects on Ace Ventura, or for a demonstration of what comes up when one googles “tranquilizing a rhino” see this.

As we peer through the windscreen at Mark and Marlin, the plot is fixing to proof…  We see Sidekick Jim (Sideshow Bob?) walking into the thicket armed with nothing more than his wooden poker.

Besides, Mark, I don’t think Marlin is sending Jim anywhere…  I think that Jim is a master of his own free will and destiny…  he chooses to go where Marlin goes and lives by simple rules…  Say little, wear khaki, carry a pointed stick.

These two zoo guys really are a mixed bag, aren’t they?

And Mark, it’s a jeep, not a car… jeez….. But let’s not lose hope, for as Marlin reminds us, they are professionals!

So now comes the pièce de résistance… The moment of moments… when the otherwise unassuming take center stage and school us all!!  Whatever that is, and whatever it has to do with the pointed stick, I guess we’ll find out in the coming installments!

I guess we wouldn’t have had the chance to notice the Zoo-Jeep until now, but OK, I guess…

And of course poor Jim (Fowler?) immediately takes the back seat, in deference to The Trail.  If Mark’s not driving, then he’s sure a hell riding shotgun…  Unless he’s on Safari and there is a pretty woman involved…

So what’s the plan here?  To drive the Rhino to exhaustion?  Pull out another tranq-gun, this one with armor piercing capabilities?

Ah yes, the days of the Television Show… before the world was taken over and the Networks fell under siege to a universe of 5-minute YouTube clips…  When Sunday night meant Wild Kingdom, the Wonderful World of Disney and, if you were lucky (since it was past bedtime) Bonanza!  OK!  Aging myself a bit there…

That jawline…  He continues to remind me of Dr. Zaius from the original Planet of the Apes!

Ready?  With clenched fists and flexed biceps, I’d say Marlin is itching for a scrap!  And what the hell does Jim have in his right hand?  A pointed stick?  The one from Monty Python fame?

We go from wide-screen, 2.76:1 Ultra Panavision yesterday to the somewhat standard 3 panel presentation today, and well,, that’s about as exciting as it gets…

The evil Marlin is grimacing over “something you don’t see all the time,” while Cherry throws her sympathies toward the “poor cat…”  While an off-camera voice (Mark?) completes the color commentary!  It’s about now in a James Allen “Storyline” that we have to start asking “Where is all this going?”  I’m sure he hasn’t the foggiest notion and awaits inspiration from who knows where in order to direct the arc of this tale.

Please… for the love of syndicated comics, hire a writer!  There have to be aspiring scriptwriters somewhere that would love to take a crack at this!

On what I am not quite sure…  Sorry Campers, I was away on Bidness for a couple of days… Unlike Mark, I actually have a job!

Which is what normal people do, which is what gives them the right to actually go on a real VACATION!  Seriously, weren’t mark Cherry just on one?  In Hawaii?  When they were rudely interrupted by Abbey Powell and her ant problem?

Dusty and Cherry’s attempt at humor falls flat and, despite some off camera laugh track being applied, Mark is also interrupted but he sound of the big cat, come looking for the other ham-bone!  But what was Mark going to say?  “I don’t think you… know what normal is?”

Today we are treated to a single panel of the Bengal Tiger getting tossed by the Rhino… I’m sorry, did I miss a frame or two?  I am just thankful that I was able to return with a triple-header, and didn’t have to comment on each of these individually!  I am now back for the dailies, campers, see you tomorrow!

And I do mean little…  Ha!  I get it!  The clowns are a bunch of lushes and can’t be trusted!!

But really, where do we go from here?  Where’s Dirty Dyer?  With that little plot element left hanging, it’s the only thing we have to look to for any excitement…

Let’s start out with the fact that Cherry is driving an Escalade.  Really?  Let’s say they buy pre-owned… a 2017 will run you 85 grand…  No to mention the 22 inch wheels with the extremely low profile tires (30’s?) makes no sense anywhere other than Southern California…  Where the hell would a freelance writer and a stay at home mom come up with that kind scratch, even if they had nothing in the way of living expenses?  Sort of reminds me of the people on “Storage Wars…”  They make more money “starring” in the show and gathering in endorsements than they ever would picking through the remains of abandoned storage lockers…  hence the reason they all drive brand-new vehicles…

Now let’s focus on Cherry’s impossibly thin waist…  Who is she?  Barbie?  Wearing a corset?  In panel two said corset has her doubled over in pain as she makes her way toward her smiling husband.

Ha, ha!  I get it! another Clown Car Reference!  Except that the clowns we were aware of were staggering around all zombie-like with their back-sides peppered with rock-salt!

And what’s with the continued “Mr. Trail?”  Not a single, “Please, call me Mark…”  What a pompous ass!

Your false modesty is nauseating… Not to mention your constant need for validation…

Oh, B as in B, S as in S…  To steal a phrase from a local radio personality…  Safety is not Mark’s Middle Name, but rather more like, “I’ve walked into a hazard and I can’t get out in less than 6 months.“

Nighty night, Jumbo!  I’m guessing that’s not the Elephant’s real name…

Enter stage left one Marlin Creed… who feels compelled to point himself out in a small crowd… rather than extend his hand in greeting?

Marlin looks like he wrestles bears before breakfast… and his assistant Jim (no last name) doesn’t look very excited to be there at all!  And judging by the look on Marlin’s face, he’s not excited to have him there…  But wait… Here’s the irony in all this:  We are channeling Marlin Perkins and Jim Fowler, except that in Wild Kingdom, Marlin Perkins was the Milquetoast and Jim Fowler was the rough and tumble sort…  I see what we’re doing here…

I can picture the little artist’s model elephant on the drawing board being posed and turned about in order to provide all the angles necessary to continue drawing this sequence.  No small feat, I suppose… when one considers all the angles we have seen over the last week.

Cutting it close?  Really?  Was there ever a doubt?  Not so much.  What Dusty really wants to say is “Here, Mark, would you like my badge?”  It would seem that at least one of the characters here is redundant…

That was 4 feet, at least!

But isn’t this the job of the authorities?  Mark are you qualified and certified?

I see another magic, ropeless canvas tent just over Jumbo’s trunk…  I agree- gotta get me one of them!!

Somehow the elephant knows what is about to hit him, and is looking to neutralize the threat.

So yes, here we are… Suffering through another extended aspect of an artificially elongated plotline… I will say it here…  Serial comic strips don’t have to resemble movie storyboards that capture scene and action in 2 second intervals…  Maybe if we were looking at a comic book where we could get to the inflection points more quickly, and linger over the passages we choose, then that would help lessen the tedium.  But for me and the handful of faithful that look to the daily strips for constant intrigue, that’s probably an unrealistic expectation.

Have a good weekend everyone!

… and by that I mean mark Trail!  Of course.  Mark will always cast a very long shadow, making everyone else, including Dusty the Game Warden a bit character at best.

I think we are all doing our best to stay with this “adventure…” I’m not sure whether it would have been more compelling to see Mark lifted and tossed like the truck, but for now he seems to have the upper hand.

I’m sorry, but is ‘Jumbo’ the equivalent of an ethnic slur for elephants?  Sort of like calling all the Pullman Porters ‘George?’